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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger

@goblyn.bsky.social
143 followers 166 following 761 posts

I'm not always as funny as whatever I said that brought you here, but I never stop trying. Bipolar. Broke-ass bitch in a red state. Trying to understand how All This will look to history.

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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
It's the mooooost won-der-ful time of the yeeeeear.... apnews.com/article/fat-...
apnews.com
Fat Bear Week opens for Alaska’s heavyweight crown. Can Chunk, the 1,200-pound champ, win again?
After a summer spent packing away sockeye salmon, Alaska’s heftiest brown bears are ready to throw their weight around.
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Chaucer Doth Tweet @levostregc.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
It ys tyme for Tulip skeptics to face some difficulte trouthes. Tulips are the waye of the future. Yf you do not invest yn Tulips you are way behinde. Yf you do not teache your children about Tulips thei will not be able to compete on the jobbe market. Onlye Luddites dislyke Tulips.
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pipi🏳️‍⚧️ @pickedaxe.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
writing is about showing off your particular brand of mental illness in a fun and often erotic way
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Pookleblinky @pookleblinky.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
The thing about trying not to pick a side is that the nazis *instantly recognize* which side you picked. They immediately identify you as an ally. They know exactly what side you're on. It doesn't fool the victims, it doesn't fool the Nazis, the only people it could possibly fool is centrists.
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Mark Jacob @markjacob.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
The owners of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory self-regulated.
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
One of my posts appears to have gone viral--for me, anyway. I have nothing to promote, but if you're reading this, do something today that would have made Dolly happy. Read a book, sing a song, give to a good cause, be kind to a stranger, laugh at yourself, wear something shiny.
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I feel like a WWDITS sequel should have an Edward Cullen vampire everyone awkwardly pretends to tolerate but as soon as he leaves the room, they talk about how insufferable he is.
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
The Banana Splits have now withdrawn from the Ed Sheeran tour.
Still image of the Banana Splits, a band consisting of friendly-looking cartoonish animals wearing mascot costumes. This includes an orange ape on drums, a lion on lead guitar, a beagle on bass, and an elephant.
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
An actual author DMing you: "Hey." [entire twenty minute conversation about any other subject] "So anyway, I wanted to ask if you'd maybe finished reading my book? It's okay if you haven't! No pressure! I was just wondering. But did you?"
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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 13/09/2026
"I regret to inform you that New York no longer exists. Unfortunately, as soon as it was out of my sight on our family trip earlier this year, it disappeared forever. As someone who loves both tall things and shiny things, I am distraught." buff.ly/y6hJAZm
mcsweeneys.net
New York Is Gone Forever (According to Me, a Baby With No Object Permanence)
“I regret to inform you that New York no longer exists. Unfortunately, as soon as it was out of my sight on our family trip earlier this year, it disappeared...
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E.M. Faulds / Beth or Taxes / Not em faulds @emfaulds.com · 13/09/2026
Make a band edible? I don't think I can better the qp, but anyway... Fleetwood Mac and Cheese
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Matt Kim @lawoftd.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
So I’m pretty sure this is to disguise naphtha shortages from the Iran War. www.nbcnews.com/world/asia/j...
nbcnews.com
Some Japanese snack packages are turning black and white as Iran war depletes ink supply
The move is the latest caused by the effective closure of the Strait of Hormuz because of the war in Iran. The war has sent prices of oil and other products higher, as well as caused supply crunches.
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Name a non-LOTR character who could resist the One Ring.
Greg, from the animated series Over the Garden Wall, carrying his frog.
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CLAYFACE: CELEBRITY DIRT #3 out now @judedoyle.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
People of All Genders Empowered to Maintain Delusion That They Have A Chance With Gillian Anderson
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
You're dead to me, Proclaimers, and I say that as one of the perhaps ten Americans who knows you for more than one song.
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cvm in pvb @cvminpvb.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
#booksky #vcandrews #stephenking
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Happy My Sweet Audrina Day to those who celebrate. #VCAndrews #MySweetAudrina
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Amazing things are happening in the manosphere.
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The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
JON STEWART: “They began covering their ass 3 weeks after 9/11… There was poison in the air, on the ground, on your pets/clothes… THE CITY KNEW. Rather than limit the damage, they covered it up… After 9/11, business will never be usual again.” (From @mamdanibulletin.bsky.social )
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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
i am NOT a bot, but here's my reply within 0.2 seconds anyway
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Wilde Butch @wildebutch.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Just an fyi Lowes dropped all of their DEI inclusion programs in capitulation with Trump's hate agenda Much like Target but it got less news
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big bleat from badsville @djepelgesh.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
thank you The New York Post for what may be the funniest image of all time
a picture from the NY Post titled "	today’s leftists are possessed by the spirit of France’s 18th-century guillotine-loving revolutionaries" (way too long) that shows Mamdani (the specter haunting Europe) smiling in the sky as a bunch of French people goof around
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Kenny Logins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 13/08/2024
cohost.org/hthrflwrs
@HTHRFLWRS
Just learned that Rasputin's grandchildren were alive in 1978.
Imagine hearing a song on the radio about how severely your granddad fucks
3:09 PM • 2020-04-28
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Casey S. Pumpkins 🎃 @caseyexplosion.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
This is the same man. With and without glasses. Remember, if a Kryptonian seduces you while wearing glasses, and doesn't disclose up front that he's wearing glasses, that's sexual assault. Don't let it happen to you.
Christopher Reeve as Clark KentChristopher Reeve as Superman
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
spidermanpointing.gif
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
The annual rewatch of #OverTheGardenWall is complete. Now it may be autumn.
A two-panel image: The top panel shows Ozzy Osbourne in concert, with the text "Generals gathered in their masses"

The lower panel shows a still from Over the Garden Wall. In it, a plate of plain mashed potatoes sits in front of a sad-looking cartoon possum. The text reads "Mashed potatoes taste like sadness"
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
It is too much to ask of a fascist dictatorship to have a little dignity?
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
If you want to print this off and leave it in bed after the next time you have sex it would probably lead to some interesting conversation with your partner
Bugs is who we want to be. Daffy is who we are.
- Chuck Jones —
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Now I know why everyone in this state thinks I'm a damn Yankee.
Image: Dialect map of the US. Text reads: You talk most like someone from Delaware. About 50% of your answers match a typical resident.
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Good news, everyone, someone disproved Shakespeare with math.
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
I need to stop saying funny things on the internet because whenever I have more than ten notifications I just assume I accidentally said something hella racist and now everyone's mad at me.
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Bill Corbett @billcorbett.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Am I being dogpiled right now? Or am I dogpiling? Please help (but do NOT dogpile) me.
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Amid all this discourse about JK Rowling being a terrible person, I feel we've lost sight of the fact that she is also a terrible writer.
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Cohen is a Ghost @skullmandible.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
hey, I was born in the 80s or 90s and I'm looking for a morally acceptable way to continue to like Harry Potter?? you see, I have this special condition where I just... stopped. somewhere along the way, i let the growth inside me die and i gnawed a hole in the past, and there i sit, and there i rot
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Ryan James Dee @ryanjamesdee.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Again, if buying isn’t owning then piracy isn’t stealing
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En Björn @nollbok.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Would you come unarmed to a Werner Herzog interview?
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Orcspiration @orcspiration.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
DRINK WATER FROM THE SKULLS OF YOUR ENEMIES! IF YOU HAVE CRUSHED THEIR SKULLS, USE A GLASS.
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Creator Mike Jeavons is taking donations for Stray Cat Shelter in memory of his beloved void Basil and is only a hard sneeze away from doubling his original goal. Let's get him over the top.
gofund.me
Donate to In memory of Basil, organized by Mike Jeavons
This week, we were devastated to lose our cat, Basil. We'd had him for almost 10 years, and he wasn't … Mike Jeavons needs your support for In memory of Basil
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
If they wanted to make a film about a selfish old man with a sad backstory who learns the error of his ways and becomes a better person...that's just the book. That is literally just the book. Just adapt the book again.
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
It's starting to feel like they're taking the last few years we might have had with people we like and giving them to people we can't stand.
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AFP News Agency @en.afp.com · 27/08/2026
Japan's 'polka dot queen' artist Yayoi Kusama dies aged 97. One of the world's most celebrated contemporary artists, Kusama channelled hallucinations and trauma into vibrant art featuring her trademark dots, nets and infinity motifs over a career spanning decades u.afp.com/SVY4
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
I don't know who needs to hear this today but you are allowed to be parasocial about Dolly right now.
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Amy Yaga 🕯🌸👻🌲🦔 @losile.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Okay but seriously someone check on Ms. Piggy. She's lost her idol and one of her lovers all in the same week D:
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Jessie Gender @jessiegender.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
I hope Tim Curry has moved on to the one place that hasn’t been corrupted by capitalism…
static.klipy.com
Tim Curry Says SPACE!
ALT: Tim Curry Says SPACE!
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Dolly would have blessed her heart so fucking hard.
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Now that she's gone, the stories are going to start coming out. All the unsung work she did behind the curtain. All the people she helped in humility and in secret. And no matter what comes out, remember: we're only hearing a fraction of it.
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
If Tropical Storm Dolly hits Mar-a-Lago we must all accept that this is her Super Saiyan form.
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Maria Bustillos @mariabustillos.com · 26/08/2026
p.s. make sure to ask JK Rowling what she thinks of Dolly Parton's unqualified support for trans people
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Goblyn/The Fifth Dollanganger @goblyn.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Anyway here's Dolly holding a kitten.
A beaming Dolly Parton in her younger years wears a voluminous white dress and holds an orange kitten to her cheek.
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Punk Rock Loser @grs22.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
I'm not trans, but I wish I was just to piss off JK Rowling
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