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Dale Waffle

@darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social
249 followers 274 following 2.8K posts

"We are with you till h--l freezes, and when it does, we will furnish blankets to keep you warm."

PostsRepliesMedia
Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 29m
If you were going to make a mockup of a sexual offender registry, you could use Tracey's picture as a placeholder and nobody would be able to tell the difference.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 1h
"Actually, just use AI for everything," guy who uses AI because talking to human beings scares him.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 5h
Say what you will about Nick Saraev, but he's a fucking idiot.
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Patrick Monahan @pattymo.com · 17h
The “super intelligence” thing is useful in the sense that if someone calls AI that you know you are dealing with a TURBO bozo
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Josh Fruhlinger @jfruh.bsky.social · 20h
they DIDN'T REFUND her fucking TUITION?????
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jesse @jesseltaylor.bsky.social · 21h
Republican attack ad: "This Democrat loves transgender surgeries for minors" Democratic attack ad: "This worthless sack of shit let a pedophile walk free and called you a stupid asshole"
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Of all the times for Amy Klobluchar not to have a phone at her disposal to whip directly at Eric Schmitt's idiot face...
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Lindsey Boylan @lindseyboylan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This man is a monster. He seeks out women survivors because he hates them. And he hates them because he hates himself. He has harassed me and other women survivors many times over the years. It must end. He should never have a job anywhere.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
"a historic step" if you like shitbag coaches and administrators, sure. If you actually like the players though, what with them being the ones who do all the work and take all of the risks, not so much.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
"Joke's on your, Dumbocrats!!! I actually punished a child sexual predator by locking him up for ALMOST two whole months!!!" is quite the checkmate.
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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
think all straight people who discoursed at great and punishing length about a western mass lesbian bar should have to give equal airtime to this. it’s your own community this time!
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Iron Spike @ironspike.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I find it fascinating that so many estranged parents view the estrangement as an incident, not as a process. So it's forums full of Boomers going "She stopped talking to me because I said her haircut was bad! She's so UNREASONABLE!", when, in reality, they've been shitting on their kid for decades.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I've done a lot of interviewing and hiring and I know that I would happily sacrifice a candidate who was perfect in every other way if they had the chutzpah to bring a beverage to an interview. I am VERY smart.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
*camera snap cuts to Jaxson Dart hitting himself in the head with a sledgehammer so he doesn't miss out on a single concussion that he would have otherwise gotten*
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Ste Jormur @stejormur.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Dril tweet reading "if you ask me this election could end about 100 different ways:
1) trump gets 0% of the vote
2) trump gets 1% of the vote
3) trump gets 2% o"
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Hi Pat. What is, "Pumping On My Penis?" *Vanna White throws a dagger directly into my temple*
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Those fat bears aren't kidding around.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Hanania's hard drives should be regularly and repeatedly searched. You don't say this kind of stuff out loud without there being anything additional involved.
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G Elliott Morris @gelliottmorris.com · 24/09/2026
Why is economic sentiment so low when GDP growth is positive? There’s no reasonable explanation, the only possible conclusion is that people are all just doing a mass hysteria (/s)
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I could do without my last trip to the Indian Buffet being described in this way.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
This is what is known academically as "complete bullshit"
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I can't believe this graphic exists. Just angrily shaking my fist at the sky, like I'm screaming, "KHAAAAAN!!!!" except I'm screaming, "HOW TALL ARE WOMEN, REALLY?!?!" With that said, in consecutive years, I had prom dates on either end of this spectrum: 6'3" and then 4'10". This amuses me.
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Dr. Stephanie @punkrockscience.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
The fact that every major news outlet includes vocal tics and hesitations when it’s a woman saying “like” and not when it’s a man saying “um” is itself wicked telling.
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Too Big to Fail @toobigtofail.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
A lotta yall still don't get it. Ape holders can use multiple slurp juices on a single ape.
 lotta yall still dont get it

ape holders can use multiple slurp juices on a single ape

so if you have 1 astro ape and 3 slurp juices you can create 3 new apes

Tonight's slurp juice mint event is essentially a minting event for both Lab Monkes and Special Forces
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Schrödinger's Sneetch Belly @rtodkelly.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Please know that this is one of my few legitimate areas of actual, high-level professional expertise: Kicking the healthiest people off of a health insurance program will bankrupt it. Not 'could;' not 'might,' not 'probably," but absolutely will, with mathematical certainty.
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Brett Connolly @brettconnolly.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
See I used to think Steely Dan was for middle aged dorks but now that I’m middle aged I discovered they’re actually quite cool and so am I.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
*Soundgarden starts performing*
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
They're the same guy.
Bill Broth from Too Many Cooks looks like Ross Douthat.
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Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Christening a baby is nothing like christening a ship. I know that now. Once again I can only apologise.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
*crumbles into dust*
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vrunt @vrunt.social · 19/09/2026
sure yeah, can't even make a stick figure without fucking up and no one at the company gives enough of a shit to even give it another pass but go ahead and take my money so i can use this lazy shit technology every day too
ad for some AI company called evenfall
copy says "meet derek. ai every day. always hitting a wall. then he found evenfall"
the only graphic is a stick figure holding... a tablet maybe? he's missing an arm
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
The military checking for spontaneous morning erections
referee closely examining man's crotch in Key & Peele sketch
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
These people are such fucking freaks.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 18/09/2026
Trans Teen Hatches Nefarious Plot To Undergo Years Of Medical Treatments And Counseling To Win At Swimming theonion.com/trans-teen-hatches-nef…
Trans Teen Hatches Nefarious Plot To Undergo Years Of Medical Treatments And Counseling To Win At Swimming
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Zac Thompson @zacthompson.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
I fear we were too hard on the CD Cenobite. A beautiful creature who really embodied the pain/pleasure of being a dedicated lover of physical media.
Promotional photo of the CD cenobite from Hellraiser 3.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
These guys are the biggest fucking idiots on the planet. Like, why do we have to take this seriously? Why do we have to pretend it's in good faith? It's just this guy being a stupid dumbfuck.
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jesse @jesseltaylor.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
four months ago: little weak baby boy james talarico eats veggie tacos today: may i interest you in seitan???
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Alejandra Caraballo @esqueer.net · 17/09/2026
Called it. The father was charged with punching the child while the mother did witness intimidation to cover it up. www.wbur.org/news/2026/09...
The case was reported to the state in early 2025. Both parents were charged in connection with an incident at the family’s Southborough home in late January of that year, according to court documents. WBUR is not identifying the teenager, who is a minor.

Joseph Kutzko was accused of punching and threatening his then-15-year-old child at the family home on Jan. 28, 2025, records from Westborough District Court show. A Southborough police detective wrote that Kutzko punched the victim in the shoulder and pulled them by their hair. Kutzko later allegedly threatened to kill the victim “for not singing in tune during a birthday celebration,” according to court records.

Kutzko was arrested the next day and pleaded not guilty. In setting bail, the judge referred to three prior restraining orders against Kutzko, one of which is permanent. She did not say whether any are tied to this case.

The child’s mother, Arlene Kutzko, was charged with witness intimidation after allegedly pressuring the child to “tell the school that she was exaggerating and being stupid.”
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Comfortably Numb @numb.comfortab.ly · 18/09/2026
Post from Amy @lolennui.bsky.social

So cool that whenever someone asks the president, "did you eat the Lindbergh baby" he's like, "no but I'd be allowed to, I have the right to, I might do it later"
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
When I was 20, I was drinking by the gallon, about to become a father, and I hated myself. I'm 45 now. Been sober for 19 years, my oldest is 25, and I don't hate myself. I hope he'd be impressed but if he's not, it's not because I haven't done enough.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
The actual Republican strategy is asking us to be grateful for higher gas prices?
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I'm home sick today and Remy and Beans don't know what to do about that but they're determined to figure out if napping on me will fix things.
Remy (a brown dog with white features) and Beans (a black kitten) asleep on my chest.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
That seems high.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
This shit always works exactly the same way, and it never ends with the alleged adults in the room going to prison.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Sausage crumbles and onions. If sausage is not available, capicola will work too.
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
1. She averaged two showers PER MONTH?!? 2. See 1.
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Ian Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 10/09/2026
Some of those that work forces Are the same that fuck horses
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Dale Waffle @darkbrownwaffles.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
It's remarkable how much Ross Douthat looks exactly like the "Too Many Cooks" killer.
Ross Douthat lurking in the background of the Too Many Cooks short film from Adult Swim
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Paul Hudrick @paulhudrick.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
OK, you have to start calling them weird again ... because this is fucking WEIRD.
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