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Hailey

@cryptidonstrike.bsky.social
90 followers 37 following 133 posts

Not petty bourgeois, just petty

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Reposted by Hailey
ceej @ceej.online · 12/07/2026
No statement from Mitch McConnell on the sudden passing of his senate colleague? So much for decorum
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
I mostly only come back to Bluesky when someone tries to kill the President again or an evil politician dies and I genuinely think that's the best way to experience this website
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Bill Corbett @billcorbett.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
THANK YOU SIRI, KEEP GOING
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Mainstream Respectable opinion is that people joking about a bad person's death represents a culture of cruelty, but really it represents a culture of impunity. It's a coping mechanism for watching someone do evil their whole life and never seeing consequences
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Out: Better things are possible In (laser eyes etc): Better things are inevitable
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
If the ballroom is so indestructible, why don't they just make the whole plane out of the ballroom
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Solidarity does more than you know. ❤️
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Wait okay this changes things. Knowing this happened on a completely different floor in this giant event space, my NEW funniest scenario is this: the guy was trying to kill a totally different guy in an unrelated meeting but he got lost and made a wrong turn bsky.app/profile/nycs...
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
If the ballroom is so indestructible, why don't they just make the whole plane out of the ballroom
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
I was going for dark humor in the moment too! We cope how we can. I think it's really kind that you've been replying to so many people with such genuine empathy. Thank you for the sincerity. It's a breath of fresh air.
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Thor Benson @thorbenson.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
I'm sorry but I think it's kind of funny that we've all reached "Yeah I guess someone tried to get him again whatever"
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
I saw the news as I was walking out the door for a twelve hour graveyard shift at work. I asked my family "did someone fumble another assassination attempt?" And they went "yeah" and I said "Huh. Okay. Love you, see you tomorrow" Things are chaotic all the time, it barely even registered tbh
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Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
You know, instead of debating how we should go overboard to protect the one man who's the most hated provocateur of malevolent violence in the entire nation, we could just remove him from office through the normal procedures.
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maia arson crimew 🏴 @crimew.gay · 26/04/2026
we are white house correspondents dinner we carry the flame
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Max Kennerly @maxkennerly.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Nah. It's not like he was in mortal danger, like an Iranian girl in school or a person driving through their own neighborhood when ICE is present.
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
I dunno, I just think it would be funny if some guy was trying to do the Scientology speedrun thing but into the WHCD, and then after the security let him fly by and then started shooting AT the conference room, they were like "Um actually he had a gun and also knives and also a longer gun as well"
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
After much consideration re: the Trump assassination attempt being real or staged, I have decided the funniest outcome would be that the guy was just a streaker and they fabricated the assassination stuff to make the security detail's response seem less goofy
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The Onion @theonion.com · 25/04/2026
JFK did not kill himself. He was murdered. The truth is coming for us all. theonion.info
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maura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
if the entire white house correspondence dinner disappeared into the void, not one single objective observation or critical insight would be lost
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maura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
meh. some lol. but mostly, meh.
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Well I'm convinced
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the beggars out of here getter @milesklee.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Stephen A. Smith saying “we don’t care”
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Nyoom
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
When I'm a leftist who is on the left and has the views of the left (my side) (which is The Left): bsky.app/profile/dana...
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21st Century Schizoid Tran @grayathena.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Pour one out for the Hilton staff who are working perhaps the worst shift in food service history rn.
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Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Luke Russert on MSNOW saying that when the shots were fired he ran down the middle of the aisle in the room, right towards the president, thinking it would be safest near him. Yeah, man, I'm not sure you've really game planned how "rushing the president during a shooting" might end for you
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the beggars out of here getter @milesklee.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
possible upside here is them never doing this event again
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Fumbled ANOTHER one?
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
"If you remove him you get Vance." You're familiar with Donald J Trump's foreign policy where we remove a country's leaders one by one until we get to one we can do business with? No reason impeachment can't work the same way
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
Patriotism is a concept I can't wrap my head around, because my experience as an American is mostly just having an intense desire to apologize. I don't know to whom, or for what exactly, but I look at the world around me and the predominant thought is just "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
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Molly Coleman @mollycoleman.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
The fact that nobody seriously believes there is an institution in this country that will check the president—that we’re all just sitting here hoping that he gets distracted and fails to follow through on his genocidal threats—is the most damning indictment of our political system I’ve seen yet.
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the beggars out of here getter @milesklee.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
why am i submitting expense reports an hour before the nuclear holocaust
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Bill Corbett @billcorbett.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
Impeach, convict, throw him into a volcano, apologize to the volcano then go out for drinks.
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Puff the Magic Hater @mskellymhayes.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
You have more in common with the people of Iran than you do with anyone in this administration, any member of the technocracy, anyone who is profiting from this war, or any billionaire. When you see Iranians forming human chains outside key infrastructure sites, you should feel a sense of kinship.
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
It's the least of the problems we're facing, I know, but I hate when situations like this force me to sound like an establishment liberal scold and say things like "Imagine what they'd say if Obama had said this!!!" But like come ON
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Artificial Taco 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇬🇱 @crunchyfishtaco.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
Tfw a Muslim mayor honors a Christian holy day better than the ‘Christian’ president
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ponder @ponder.ooo · 23/03/2026
(worf voice) ICE agents are worthless despicable people, who by their choice of career have utterly disgraced themselves; there is but one honorable course of action available to them, but... (clenching teeth, visibly frustrated) i am bound by Community Guidelines, and can say no more on the matter
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leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to put on a tactical vest and go to the newark airport at 6 am on monday. your order is to wander around like a confused oaf. when a mom drops her sandwich at jersey mike's and scares you, pull out your gun and start shooting. good luck soldier
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The Onion @theonion.com · 23/03/2026
Trump Demands Allies Do Their Fair Share To Fuck Up The World theonion.com/trump-demands-allies-d…
Trump Demands Allies Do Their Fair Share To Fuck Up The World
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
Did they take away his nipples
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
Imagine a 30-something-year-old British man coming up to you, pointing to his Twin Towers arm tattoo, and saying "What if we made these in Chicago, put every tech bro in the USA inside, and then armed the roof with missiles or lasers or something idk" futurism.com/science-ener...
futurism.com
Engineer Says It's Time to Rebuild the Twin Towers as Giant Data Centers With Anti-Aircraft Lasers on the Roof
Raphael Chryslar has proposed an expansive infrastructure project which reimagines the twin towers as part of a high-tech research campus.
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
i’ve always said the generally hellish experience of going through TSA would be improved by bringing in other federal agents with no understanding of airports who love to shoot people
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
Imagine a 30-something-year-old British man coming up to you, pointing to his Twin Towers arm tattoo, and saying "What if we made these in Chicago, put every tech bro in the USA inside, and then armed the roof with missiles or lasers or something idk" futurism.com/science-ener...
futurism.com
Engineer Says It's Time to Rebuild the Twin Towers as Giant Data Centers With Anti-Aircraft Lasers on the Roof
Raphael Chryslar has proposed an expansive infrastructure project which reimagines the twin towers as part of a high-tech research campus.
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Hailey @cryptidonstrike.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
I guess bro
Screenshot of a headline from the website "Futurism". It reads: "Engineer Says It's Time to Rebuild the Twin Towers as Giant Data Centers With Anti-Aircraft Lasers..." the rest of the headline is cut off.
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Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 21/03/2026
sometimes you see something so stupid and so funny that it feels like god is giving your brain a high five
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The Onion @theonion.com · 13/03/2026
“At some point, in ideal conditions, maybe I would be able to cobble together some feelings about Donald Glover playing a digital dinosaur, but right now I’m tired—very, very tired,” said Wisconsin resident Gina Logan
theonion.com
Exhausted Nation Lacks Strength To Form Opinion On Donald Glover Being Voice Of Yoshi
WASHINGTON—Claiming their mind was solely occupied by the hope of curling up in a ball and sleeping as long as they were allowed, the entire U.S. populace told reporters Thursday they lacked the stren...
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