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Relyea, Connor

@crelyea12.bsky.social
4K followers 366 following 351 posts

every day, I put on the clown costume and suffer a new indignity. writing at The Hard Times, McSweeney's, Points in Case, etc. Former contributor at @theonion.com

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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
last night, Laurence Fishburne performed a piece I wrote 8 years ago so now I'm gonna be reeeeeeeeal annoying about it :)
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Liz @stayathomecommie.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
RIP to two of the best to ever do it
dolly parton in the 80s in black lingerie with red trim with garters and stockings dolly parton again in red lingerie with a garter belt and stockings tim curry in rocky horror picture show in a sparkly garter belt and lingerie too tim curry posing with a black jacket and his stockinged legs extended to show off black stilettos
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Chris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Tim Curry and Dolly passing in the same week, rough time in particular for homosexuals of a certain age.
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lighthouse prince @historiancole.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
brains are so funny but i did just think "i wonder if miss piggy has released a statement yet."
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Enough of this, it’s time we jump the grim reaper that skeleton motherfucker deserves to get his ass beat
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johnedwinmason @johnedwinmason.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
One more great thing about Dolly. She was a paid-up union member — American Federation of Musicians, Local 257, Nashville. And she had been for 58 years. www.afm.org/2026/08/afm-...
afm.org
AFM Statement on the Passing of Dolly Parton
Today, the entire community of professional musicians mourns the loss of an irreplaceable icon and a generous heart: Dolly Parton. While the world knows her as a global superstar and philanthropist…
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FT @fucktheory.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Imagine being talented and beautiful and rich and famous and still the most noteworthy thing about you is how good a person you are.
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The saddest girl to ever hold a martini @lifeisterrible.bsky.social · 01/04/2024
DOLLY PARTON PET PEEVES
1. NOBODY NOTICES
I'VE GOT
GREAT ASS
TOO
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
and I'm just supposed to keep working??? Without Dolly????
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DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
dolly parton died of big natural causes
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Joseph Galbo @josephgalbo.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Parton accomplished more in one lifetime than some people could in ten. One of the few artists who made the word icon feel too small. www.theguardian.com/music/2026/a...?
theguardian.com
Dolly Parton, country star, actor and philanthropist, dies aged 80
Songwriter of I Will Always Love You, Jolene and 9 to 5 also invested millions in child literacy, Covid-19 vaccine development and other causes
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KJ Shepherd @kjshepherd.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
there will be many ways to celebrate dolly parton and the one I want to point out is that she was a friend of Miss Piggy
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kate bush’s husband @airbagged.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
RIP TO ONE OF THE GREATEST TO EVER DO IT
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
lol! lmao even!
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
a logical conclusion stemming from all the ripped statues of jesus that helped turn a generation of catholic boys gay
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Read my latest:
thehandbasket.co
We didn’t need a rape accusation to know Graham Platner was unfit
Despite months of red flags, his allies insisted he was the vision of positive masculinity the party needed.
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Tim Carvell @timcarvell.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
We’ve entered the period of the evening when I can’t tell whether the “it’s all over now” vagueposts are about Platner, the USMNT or McConnell.
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Katie Buehler @bykatiebuehler.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
🚨 🚨 🚨 FYI: The Supreme Court DID NOT announce #SCOTUS Justice Samuel Alito's retirement today.
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Patrick Monahan @pattymo.com · 26/06/2026
Why Saying Things That Are Definitely Not The New Punk Rock Is The New Punk Rock
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andrear9md.bsky.social @andrear9md.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Well yeah, if Watergate happened again it would have gone off without a hitch because no one would have known about it until a year later when Woodward and Bernstein's book came out.
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Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
I know this is not the biggest concern going these days, but it stresses me out that basically every artist/writer/critic is now expected to create their own tiny empire instead of getting paid by any existing entity to perform a job they've worked to get good at!!!!
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andy™ @andylevy.net · 24/06/2026
New York City voters seemed energized by victories from Brad Lander, Darializa Chevalier, and Claire Lopez. But in this small diner roughly 75 miles outside of Topeka, news of the results was not welcomed as warmly
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Kat Tenbarge @kattenbarge.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
GOD BLESS MAMDANISTAN!
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Queer in the arts!!!! Let’s fucking goooooo!!!!!
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The Associated Press @apnews.com · 24/06/2026
bit.ly/4vuZyfP Brad Lander, the former New York City comptroller and ally of Mayor Zohran Mamdani, has upset Democratic U.S. Rep. Dan Goldman in the Democratic primary for New York’s 10th District.
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Personasama @persona.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
Sucks that this 64 year old Rocky & Bullwinkle joke still hits now
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Ursula K. Le Guin Bot @leguinbot.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
I had forgotten how much light there is in the world, till you gave it back to me.
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Rachel Holliday Smith @rachelholliday.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
now more than ever
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
mind you this was all directly after Brooklyn Pride which was in Park Slope and a lot of people in these videos were there too, I fucking love this city!!!!
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Frank Conniff @frankconniff.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
The Knicks victory is generating so much passion and excitement that if it ran in a primary election, Establishment Democrats would not support it.
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
where else are you gonna find the phrase "died peacefully of a shotgun blast to the skull in a local Hooters"
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
the average american voter
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
show people on the internet this picture for long enough and they’ll eventually reinvent The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman from first principles
A room with yellow wallpaper and beige carpet, originally used on 4chan in the post that inspired the backrooms creepypasta
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
i've lived in nyc for 10 years so apologies to the "born and bred new yorkers" but i think i've earned the right to LARP as a teenage mutant ninja turtle in the abandoned city hall subway station
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
performative grammar heads are always moaning about the Oxford comma when real ones are in battles with grammar rules that would make you hurl
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Noah Shachtman @noahshachtman.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Read this all the way through. It's a cheat code to understanding our current media ecosystem. www.politico.com/news/2026/06...
politico.com
‘Unbelievable how accurate’: How paid influencers hype Polymarket’s odds
The company’s chief marketing officer, Matthew Modabber, used a personal PayPal account to send money to content creators, according to records reviewed by POLITICO.
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victoria scott @victoriascott.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
I see people are talking about speed limiters as a viable tech in America and everything else aside: I need you all to realize that we destroyed civil society because Applebee's was closed for a few weeks in some states during a deadly pandemic. I don't think we're getting speed limiters
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
this game got me through so many chapters of my life, both good and bad. a whole decade of D2! it's kind of incredible that this one story had that much staying power. RIP to a game that I gave 3,000+ hours of my life to.
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Mr. Joshua @pantspants.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
Jeff Bezos deserves prison for a lot of reasons but what Amazon did to comixology might be in the top 10
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Thor Benson @thorbenson.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
Tracy Jordan from 30 Rock with a speech bubble
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Alexandra Petri @petridishes.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
WHY STOP AT ANIMAL FARM THOUGH www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/...
theatlantic.com
Animal Farm Is Not for Kids but They Made It a Kids’ Movie Anyway
There are many more animated children’s films to be made based on dystopian source material.
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
went to the Animal Farm premiere yesterday and after sitting with it for 24 hours, I finally agree that George Orwell's satirical allegory about the rise of Stalinism absolutely needed more fart jokes
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Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
I was fighting fascism with the power of love and kindness and just really getting my ass handed to me. proteanmag.com/2025/11/01/w...
The rules
Iwas fighting fascism with the power of love and kindness and just really getting my ass handed to me. A total bloodbath. The referee would have stepped in by now but they had knocked him out with a steel chair. The only others watching were either fascists themselves or the people trying to fight fascism with the power of love and kindness and they weren’t having a great go of it either. I kept trying to explain in between haymakers that we were better than this and on top of that it wasn’t likely to be ruled on favorably as far as the courts. None of it helped. I was on my knees now bleeding profusely from the mouth and nose. It spilled out of me onto the snow in a pattern that if you sort of squinted at it from the right vantage looked like a cartoon heart. See that I pointed. Look how beautiful the world can be I tried to say through my broken teeth. Alright well now he was pulling out a gun. I didn’t think we were allowed do that.
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 22/04/2026
ADOBE: welcome to photoshop. what would you like to do. here is an AI tool ME: i would like to draw a rectangle. i am selecting the rectangle tool ADOBE: did you say AI? ME: rectangle please ADOBE: sorry but i can only do that in an insane way now. here is a new layer and a vector for some reason
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Relyea, Connor @crelyea12.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
Democrats Try Not To Shoot Themselves Repeatedly In Their Own Dicks challenge, impossible mode
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