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Diane Messias

@comedywriter.bsky.social
3.9K followers 4.3K following 20K posts

Triste satirist notesfromcuckooisland.blog/2023/05/… DMs not enabled

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Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 16h
this gaffe should follow Eric Schmitt around for the rest of his political life (Jack Smith was actually in Maryland at a HAWKEYES game, not in Atlanta colluding with Fani Willis as Schmitt alleged) (Win McNamee/Getty)
photo of Schmitt's team holding up a poster board that made false claims about Jack Smith's whereabouts in February 2024
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Simon Nixon @nixonsimon.bsky.social · 11h
It was a remarkable speech on many levels, but mainly on this one… 👏
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BladeoftheSun @bladeofthes.bsky.social · 14h
Two countries voted against making food a human right at the UN, Israel and the USA. The vote would have mandated the UN to prevent starvation, and the US and Israel didn't want to fund preventing starvation.
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Younity @younityuk.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
🌍⚠️ A UK intelligence report links climate and nature loss directly to national security. It warns that collapsing ecosystems could increase risks of food shortages, migration, conflict and economic disruption. Showing how climate change is starting to be treated as a security and resilience issue.
theguardian.com
Why is the UK’s suppressed climate national security report significant?
Warnings about the catastrophic effects of vital ecosystems collapsing were not published under previous prime minister
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Danny Fearns @dannyfearns.bsky.social · 14h
SpaceX full of self-congratulation about their big rocket thingy. How easily we forget that Thunderbird 1 was doing this in 1965.
Thunderbird one heading off through the skies towards space
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Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan @london.gov.uk · 16h
Access to culture is a right, not a privilege. Keeping museums free means millions can continue to explore, learn and be inspired, regardless of their background or income. That's good for London, and good for ensuring cost is never a barrier to discovery.
theartnewspaper.com
Culture secretary confirms free admission for all at England’s national museums will remain
The announcement by Lisa Nandy, the Secretary of State for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport, came after recent discussions of introducing admission fees for overseas visitors
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 11h
#Headline of the Day RAF Fairford 'bomb plot' was foiled when 'one of the suspects rang the police on himself' - Mail
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 11h
#Headline of the Day Erika Kirk shares extraordinary detail of what Charlie's body looked like after his murder - Mail
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Robert Reich @rbreich.bsky.social · 14h
Tyrants view educated citizens as their greatest enemy. Slaveholders stopped the enslaved from learning to read. Nazis burned books. Dictators censor media. That’s why Trump is attacking education, science, museums, the media, and the arts – to prevent us from learning. It's Fascism 101.
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Pirate Redux @pirateredux.bsky.social · 12h
A refreshing idea on sentencing that would go down very well in the UK too. 😁
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Shor Films @shorfilms.bsky.social · 12h
All of these tech leaders selling out for trump to shill data centers and get approval that he is right. trump's path can kill us all. trump is wrong about everything.
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Jarl Graham Kirk. Photo of me 1965 @grawitmik.bsky.social · 14h
And when you've bought your stamps, please buy your Christmas Cards from the RNLI and feel free to send them to anyone in prison feeling lonely this Christmas. shop.rnli.org/collections/...
shop.rnli.org
Christmas Cards | RNLI Shop
Every purchase of our charity Christmas cards from the RNLI makes a lifesaving difference. The profits will help to prevent tragedies at sea for years to come.
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Cold War Steve @coldwarsteve.bsky.social · 14h
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Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 17h
The Talmud teaches that anyone who sustains one soul, has sustained an entire world. For generations, Jewish New Yorkers have sustained our city. Today, we are launching the first-ever municipal Strategy to Combat Antisemitism.
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 12h
PROBLEM OF THE WEEK Dear Marj, I have a feeling the electrician who came to my flat last week walked out with my kitchen tongs, as they haven't been seen since.* How do you advise me to turn my chicken legs over? Triste Satirist *The electrician and the tongs
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Robert Reich @rbreich.bsky.social · 13h
After heavy lobbying and huge donations from Big Tech, Trump killed a proposed Biden-era rule requiring AI companies to disclose their riskiest experiments to federal officials. Everything is for sale. This is worth a read: www.levernews.com/ai-regulation-was…
levernews.com
AI Regulation Was Coming. Then Trump Killed It.
After a flood of tech industry cash, President Donald Trump killed a requirement that AI giants disclose their riskiest
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Best for Britain @bestforbritain.org · 15h
👀 In his speech, Burnham promised to set out different options for closer UK-EU relations. Shortly afterwards, Downing Street did not rule out that these options included rejoining the EU. inews.co.uk/news/politics/burnham-o…
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 15h
#Headline of the Day Kristi Noem files for divorce from 'bimbo' crossdressing husband - Mail
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 15h
#Headline of the Day Meghan's former Hollywood super-agent Ari Emanuel reveals why he thinks it's 'great' he no longer represents her - Mail
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Peter Stefanovic @peterstefanovic.bsky.social · 18h
'Water is a symbol of what has gone wrong with Britain. A service where the shareholders never lose and the public never win' PM Andy Burnham announces plans for a law change to allow public ownership of water companies 👏
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Esheru @esherukweku.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This is dangerous talk, he should be reprimanded for it.
The United Kingdom is releasing five Muslim terrorists accused of planning an attack on an American airbase.
They should just officially rename themselves the United Islamic Kingdom and get it over with.
What is clear is they are no longer a reliable ally of the United States.
© OSINTdefender & @sentdefender • 6h
Counter Terrorism Policing in the United Kingdom has announced that the five men arrested near RAF Fairford on Sunday will be released on bail this afternoon. The men were arrested in the village of Whelford, a short dis...
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 20h
#Headline of the Day 'What next, put food on plates?!': Meghan Markle mocked over latest hosting tips advising hosts to 'have as much prepped as possible before guests arrive' - Mail
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 20h
#Headline of the Day Anti-migrant activist 'Danny Tommo' holds the Holy Bible as he is remanded in custody after pleading not guilty to criminal damage for 'slashing dinghy in the Channel' - Mail Book of Judges?
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 20h
🧵
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Johnny 🫧 Cowlick @jefferycowlick.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Elect a convicted felon, you get a criminal government.
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Dominic Piper @dominicpiper.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
#FREE #FREE #FREE Like Bottled Fire. Dominic Piper. "An ingeniously constructed standalone short story that incorporates Piper’s usual fusion of intriguing mystery, suspense, danger, wit, red-hot sensuality, beautiful women, lingerie, perfume, and ruthless amorality." mybook.to/LikeBottledF...
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Indie Aut. Stuart Miller📖✍️🤓 Believe in yourself & your potential @stuartmiller1.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Posted 1 day ago by @briantylercohen.bsky.social "briantylercohen: What do you think?" IG acct: briantylercohen Brian Tyler Cohen
The white house entrance is being reinforced. Permanent fences are being added. A huge bunker is being rebuilt beneath it. Trump is not planning to leave when his term ends.

@kyamawebb23
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SaveDemocracy123 @savedemocracy123.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Paxton’s buddy Adam Hoffman actually was only given ONE day in jail by Paxton’s office for repeatedly raping an 8 year old for years, but the judge was so shocked that he gave him 60 days (max under “plea-deal”). Paxton then got him out in 29 days, and NOT on a sex-predator registry. Paxton is EVIL!
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kenofseattle @kenofseattle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Seattle
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J. Emory Parker 🏳️‍🌈 @jaspar.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Meta muse saying why would I deceive you?
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
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Ramin Nasibov @nasibov.me · 28/09/2026
emotional coffee
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Hate it when that happens.
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Might as well replace 'bomb plot' with 'sausage plot'. 😎
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Forest @fbos.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I won't celebrate or congratulate the media for this. It's a day late and a dollar short. All media should have been doing this all along. They have the power and the responsibility to expose lies being told to the American people, no matter how trivial. Because not doing it feeds the demagogue.
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Bridget Phillipson MP @bphillipsonmp.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Reform UK in Sunderland have pulled support for Show Racism the Red Card, calling them ‘a politically-charged organisation with an agenda’. That agenda is driving racism out of football. Sunderland stands against racism, even if our Reform council doesn't. www.sunderlandecho.com/news/people/...
sunderlandecho.com
Charity hits out at Reform decision to withdraw support for Show Racism the Red Card
Charity and city MPs call on Reform led Sunderland City Council to reverse decision
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Wordle 1,928 4/6 🟩⬜🟨⬜⬜ 🟩⬜⬜🟨⬜ 🟩🟨🟩🟨⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I've spent half my life around there - how lovely would that have been then.
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KittyKatGirl😻🙏💞🐞 @mary1kathy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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Americans for Tax Fairness @4taxfairness.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Elon Musk spent $278 MILLION buying the 2024 election. That is FOUR TIMES what he paid in federal income taxes between 2013 and 2018. The richest 1% are set to pocket $1 TRILLION in tax breaks this decade. While Musk's SpaceX launches rockets, working families get stuck with the bill.
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Dan Diamond @ddiamond.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Russell Brand, who's awaiting trial in London next month on rape and sexual assault charges, will moderate a panel at DC's MAHA summit tomorrow on reforming a U.S. health agency
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Democrat Cats @democratcats.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Morning Kitten
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Qasim Rashid, Esq. @qasimrashid.com · 28/09/2026
To the people complaining these sex abuse cases have created a world where men now have to think 10 times before they touch a woman. Yes, that's the point. It's called consent. Welcome to human decency.
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Miaganga @miaganga.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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TheRightIsWrong (TRIW) @therightiswrong100.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
OMG Lindsey Fucking Graham, I’m so glad he burnt in hell; listen to this leaked phone call with boss Netanyahu 👇 asking whether he should talk Trump into joining Israel in bombing Lebanon, Netanyahu prefers we concentrate on Iran now and we can bomb Lebanon late WTF People, this is puppet Trump
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Beth Humphreys 🌺 @producrgrl.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
www.washingtonpost.com/climate-envi... 🤬🤬🤬 Vote EARLY & BLUE! Up & down the ballot! 🌊 #nokings
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
'Bad actors' in every sense. 😶
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Hahahaha
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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Any more of that eyeliner and he'll be joining the pair of pandas in Atlanta. #threesacrowd
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The Liberal BoJack @thelibbojack.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Two things make Donald Trump unfit to lead: 1. Everything he says. 2. Everything he does.
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