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Chris Merkel

@chrismerkel.bsky.social
971 followers 1.3K following 857 posts

cybersecurity leader, teller of cautionary tales, career dev helper Professional alt, unprofessional posts. Deep Cut Industry Shitposts on Masto: @chrismerkel@infosec.exchange

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Reposted by Chris Merkel
Jack Cousteau ⚓️ @angrywaterman.bsky.social · 21h
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The reaction at the host station when my lard ass shows up to the golden corral
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
James O’Loughlin @jamesoloughlin.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Fuck meta but also apple needs to shore up those permissions. No app should be able to do this. I would wager meta isn't the first shitty company to steal your iMessages.
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Having redundant routes is important but realize that advanced persistent quantum agent swarm backhoes are an emerging threat. Crowdstrike has classified this activity cluster JERSEY REACHAROUND
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Dude they're selling fridge cigs in ultra wides now
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Dude they're selling fridge cigs in ultra wides now
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
They did it now because they know that you can't afford terabytes of storage anymore because of fucking AI
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
Lisa Guerrero @lisaguerrero.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Not only did I meet Robert Kraft, I worked for him. His kid Jonathan asked me to “remove the black music” from my gameday playlist in ‘94 & I refused so they fired me. I was the cheerleader director at the time.  I sued them for wrongful termination and won. So yes, I know that motherfucker. 
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
It's hard to understand the current impact of fuel prices, so let's express it this way: The cost to fill up a F150 diesel in my state costs 2 Grand Theft Auto 6 Standard Editions.
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Disagree. The best way is the read it in print, delivered to your door. This may be more convenient though, a good compliment to the print edition.
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
The only thing I regret leaving behind when I deleted my Twitter account was the Sunday afternoon when I got drunk and watched the Tuvix episode of Star Trek for the first time.
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
HOLY SHIT THE AI HAVE ALLOWED BEDBUGS TO DEEPFAKE
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Pssst the best talks at conferences tend to be the ones in the afternoon of the last day.
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
So you're saying they're all in Heaven
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Headed to @blueteamcon.com - who else is going down? I'm up for IRL convos on damn near any topic but right now things top of mind include: - passkeys - threat intel - red teaming and adopting agentic models - AI economics (i.e. why I like AI and hate AI companies)
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
Ed Zitron @edzitron.com · 10/09/2026
I am serious that today’s journalism ecosystem would be fooled if they played war of the worlds on the radio. It would be on CNN within hours
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
The verge is just so fuckin shameless: - Hey, turn off your adblocker to see this content! (done!) - hahahaha sike, you have to subscribe but thanks for the ad impressions.
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
Ian Rennie @theangelremiel.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Nathan Fielder and Elizabeth Holmes doing the "we're just normal men" meme
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Dogpiling is a fun and necessary thing for dogs to do. Using this term is offensive. Everyone go on this thread and make that point to them. ;-)
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
The Onion @theonion.com · 29/08/2026
“Women who average more than 8.4 points, 2.3 rebounds, or 1.3 assists per game clearly have an unfair biological advantage over women who don’t, and we need to maintain a level playing field.” — Sophie Cunningham
theonion.com
Sophie Cunningham Claims Any Woman Who Averages More Than 8 Points Per Game Should Not Be Allowed To Play In WNBA
INDIANAPOLIS—Contending that the proposed restrictions were “common sense” and necessary to preserve the integrity of the sport, Indiana Fever shooting guard Sophie Cunningham claimed Friday that any ...
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Coyote vs ACME x DJ Shadow feat. Run the Jewels IYKYK I was in tears. A juxtaposition of absurd extremes that can only exist in a Looney Tunes universe.
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I save my best deep cut infosec shitposts for mastodon
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Damn a @patrick.risky.biz x @lawfaremedia.org collab to syndicate the Seriously Risky Biz newsletter? That's huge, congrats! www.lawfaremedia.org/article/chin...
lawfaremedia.org
China's AI-Enabled APT Operations Are Getting Interesting
The latest edition of the Seriously Risky Business cybersecurity newsletter, now on Lawfare.
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
LMAOOOOOOOOOO somebody finally asked the transphobes if they know any WNBA players besides and NOPE
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
A hearty fuck you to every homebuilder who nails bathroom fans in from above the ceiling joists.
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Everyone walk outside and listen to the wind. Take joy in knowing for a brief moment, the dumbest fuckers in the world aren't pumping out low quality garbage in every sector of society.
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Wife: The trash is overflowing. Can you-- Me: Well I can't take it out but here's what I'll say. We need a strong trash can. And I'm committed to reforming the kitchen so the trash doesn't pile up
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unraveled @unraveledpress.com · 14/08/2026
New: We pieced together dozens of violent incidents from the ICE agents seen in viral videos from Virginia this week. They've roamed across multiple states, but are most often working in Chicago. We also verified the identity of Martin Lagunas, the fed who pointed his gun at a woman on Monday:
unraveledpress.com
Chicago ICE team seen threatening drivers has roamed from Illinois to Minnesota to Virginia
A federal agent from Chicago identified by community members as 40-year-old Martin Lagunas was recorded pointing his gun in the face of a Virginia woman on Monday. His team of ICE agents has been docu...
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
Ross Sayers @rosssayers.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
[James Stewart as Odysseus] now listen here, Agamemnon, I'm going home, y'see. You keep your fancy armour, I'm getting off this crummy ol' beach. [Spotting the Cyclops] now here's a curious fella, he's only got one peeper
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
Kevin Beaumont @doublepulsar.com · 05/08/2026
OpenAI did a talk today at BlackHat about how important they are for being negligent without consequence essentially.
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
This is what a peak Hegseth warfighter looks like
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
"Transceivers definitely ⁠pose a risk," said Divyansh Kaushik, an AI policy expert FFS. This is so fucking low on any reasonable threat model, but these wanks are going to drive up the cost of data centers even higher with this bullshit. www.reuters.com/world/trump-...
reuters.com
EXCLUSIVE: Trump administration drafting ban on Chinese data center devices, sources say
The Trump administration is drafting a ban on U.S. imports of new models of Chinese data center components, four people ​familiar with the matter told Reuters, as it seeks to protect the infrastructur...
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
You can substitute "grocery stores" with literally any other government function and still have the same op-ed.
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Spongebob "One Hour Later..." memeEmergency crews respond to 'aircraft mishap' involving F-35 at Miramar Air Base
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nancabell.bsky.social @nancabell.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Cyber attacks- Minnesota 😡👇🏼
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
static.klipy.com
Ron Burgundy: Great Story, Compelling and Rich
ALT: Ron Burgundy: Great Story, Compelling and Rich
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Say what you want about Ross Douthat, he's definitely telegenic, good-looking and easy to listen to.
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 28/07/2026
as a society we are well past due in establishing No Content Zones where making shit for tiktok is explicitly forbidden
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ceej @ceej.online · 26/07/2026
the thing about having actual principles is that when a politician I respect does some stupid shit I can just be like, “that sucks, knock it off” instead of inventing an imaginary world where I’m forced to defend stupid shit for procedural 4d chess reasons
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
William B. Fuckley @opinionhaver.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
one of the oldest running dialogues in history is "war is a massively complicated political, bureaucratic, and logistical endeavor" vs. "fuck you pussy, war is when you're a fucking badass, oh shit I lost"
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Insurance companies would literally save money if they ensured gas stoves were removed from houses where someone suffers from severe asthma. theconversation.com/replacing-ga...
theconversation.com
Replacing gas stoves with electric stoves greatly reduces asthma symptoms
People with poorly controlled asthma may be able to breathe easier by making a change in the kitchen.
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Just like Jesus said
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
Defender of western civilization
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Chris Merkel @chrismerkel.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
slate.com/podcasts/dec...
slate.com
Have Statues Fallen Off Their Pedestal?
Trump wants 250 new statues of American heroes. Here’s why he’s not going to get them.
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
Dan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Dang they really got a category for everything
THR
The Hollywood Reporter *
@THR
Louis C.K. Wins Grammy for First Special Since Sexual Misconduct Allegations
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
­­ ­ ­ the­ ­­ ­ ­ ghostes @rem.bsjky.team · 17/07/2026
oh this is great
how-i-experience-web-today.com
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
Lenny Zeltser @lennyzeltser.com · 10/07/2026
How can you use your AI agent to transform raw threat notes into a well-sourced CTI report draft? Use my MCP server with my new CTI report template and writing guidance. Your sensitive data stays local. zeltser.com/cyber-threat-intel-repo…
zeltser.com
A Report Template for Cyber Threat Intelligence
Cyber threat intelligence analysts produce credible reports by weighing signals at tactical, operational, and strategic levels. A customizable CTI report template helps analysts capture activity, attribute it with calibrated confidence, and translate findings into defensive actions.
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Reposted by Chris Merkel
Vic Thorstenson @vthorstenson.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Man, nobody could build a shithouse like the WPA.
Large limestone lavatory building built by Works Progress Administration workers in 1938. Located at Minneopa State Park near Mankato, MN.
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