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BUG-EYED HELL CAT

@californiahorst.bsky.social
2.7K followers 899 following 11K posts

Champion in the epic war against squirrels My Posts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:bvpgyjfye2… Pfp: The face of grey bug-eyed cat Background banner: B&W image of a chubby, fluffy cat in repose with bug-eyes

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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 55m
the word fellatio is derived from felicia, the woman who invented the blow job
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 11h
it’s called an ovation because in olden times satisfied audience members would give each performer a fresh egg at the end of the show
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 11h
🎵 i take two fibers in the morning 🎵 i take two fibers at night 🎵 i take two fibers in the afternoon 🎵 they make me go alright 🎵 taaaaaake two fibers
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
me: 🎵 she’s having a hot flash, a tropical hot flash 🎵 wife: *slaps that song out my mouth*
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🎃 Imani Gandy Corn 🎃 @angryblacklady.blacksky.app · 09/10/2026
"What are we, a bunch of BROWN people?" This is white people doing white people shit. Y'all had picnics under our hanging bodies but sure ok. It's like the Taliban.
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
how long before the Ai companies try to make it illegal to advertise stuff as “not generated by Ai” because it hurts Ai’s feelings?
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Ruin a book by adding a word: The Little Prince Andrew
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Dystopia would be a beautiful name for a baby girl
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Ruin a book by adding a word: James and the Giant Sexy Peach
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Sex so good they pause the World Series to show it in the Jumbotron
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
only pussy ass bitches call it super intelligence
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God @thegodshow.com · 09/10/2026
Any nation that live streams executions is a shithole country.
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
what kind of sick fuck would be entertained watching an execution? would you let that person in your home? would you allow your children to be near them? the gop are fucking ghouls
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
for public safety they need to publish a sex offender like map, but of people who would watch a public execution
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Blew Nids on the Kock
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Hone Bugs-n-Tharmony
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Punk on Bus Lives!🚍📻 @punkonbuslives.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Every picture I see from the Oval Office looks just like this.
The Fat Ferengi work two hot ladies. Star Trek TNG.
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
no one wants to sit next to me when they fly but in my opinion if someone stuffs you in a metal tube and sends you hurling through the sky it would be far weirder to not be screaming the entire time
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
when they gonna invent a chimney that blows smoke rings?
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
why are they navy seals? seals are hardly the most terrifying thing in the ocean
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
how funny would it be if all those texans signed over those checks to Talarico’s campaign?
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Heaches & Perb
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Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
I didn't choose the thug life, it chose me. Just kidding, I came in late to career day and it was the only thing left.
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Josh Dobbin @joshdobbin.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Marty Feldman: "Normalize non-normal eyes."
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
is humanity on the brink of extinction? today i heard people are asking Ai how to vote, so yes, i believe it is
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡… did the inventor of shepherd’s pie already know how delicious shepherds were or was it a happy accident?
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
since the u.s. is running on a deficit, that $5K check trump is promising if repubs win in november is just borrowed money that you, the taxpayer, will eventually have to pay back. you could alternatively take out a personal loan for that amount and vote for people who aren’t evil
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
i’m at that level of high where i can see the flavors
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Scissors @scissors.myatproto.social · 04/10/2026
my doctor said i have to get taco bell for dinner
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Spooky Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
the only thing I can think of where I'd maybe use AI would be to scour the scripts of all Fantasy Island episodes to see if the line "say hello to my little friend" was used so I could use that information to write a mid skeet
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
one of my wife’s students referred to a jelly fish as a “sloppy fish” and that’s what i call them now
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
is it cake?: special gloryhole episode
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
we’re into the second of four consecutive october days of 100°+ temps and this never happened when biden was president
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Josh Dobbin @joshdobbin.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
The Flydubai hijacker was a misogynist; fury at mixed gender workplaces "radicalized" him. We reward the Kavanaughs & Thomases & Hegseths w/power after doing kabuke that their deeds MIGHT disqualify them; they spend that power hurting women. Cornell is everywhere. Misogyny is the original evil.
societyforritualarts.com
The Witch of the Crocus Valley
She yawned and opened her eyes for the first time. If you were there to see them, you would be hard pressed to name the color of those eyes, because there was no name spoken by men for such a color. T...
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Josh Dobbin @joshdobbin.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Hatred & fury at women for existing is the first root of nearly every problem we have. It is cross cultural and always a cancer.
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
now is the best time to schedule a physical because pumpkin spice tongue depressors
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
science has shown that the sun will destroy the earth in about 5 billion years by crushing it beneath two monstrous scoops of raisins
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
“Knock, knock. It’s the postman.”
RANDOM LINE FROM A MOVIE THAT 
FANS OF IT INSTANTLY KNOW
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
if i seem high it’s because i’m off
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Sad news everyone. Our beloved friend the computer has now become a hated enemy
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
does anyone know if frankie ever made it to hollywood?
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Grumpy Old X-Men
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
in my youth i was at club and the dj played a 40 min dance mix of relax by frankie goes to hollywood and by the end people were dropping like flies from exhaustion. paramedics were called. four people died that night. still a great song tho
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
i bet sex with a mime is hilarious as opposed to sex with a clown which is terrifying
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smillz-o-lantern @righttwix.com · 30/09/2026
if you fall and your friends are concerned instead of laughing then you’re old now
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
a terrified usher enters the theater and makes pleas to the audience to refrain from violence
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Missing The Point @missingthept.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Breaking: WNBA credits Caitlin Clark with Assist of the Year.
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BUG-EYED HELL CAT @californiahorst.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
it would be culinary malpractice if you made a hot pocket without consulting Ai first
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aric @aghastronaut.com · 30/09/2026
Someone is replacing my body with a slightly worse body each night while I sleep.
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Everyone block this fucking creep. @bobjohn776653.bsky.social
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