iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Replies

Elad Nehorai @eladn.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Most men have defined masculinity as not-feminine. This means that the more women expand their abilities and interests once the domain of men, these men then have to more narrowly define their masculinity. Soon all that’s left is just the toxic parts.

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Roldy @alwaysroldy.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

The tell with these guys is that they say we need more “masculine” traits. But never describe those traits. It’s never “we need more risk takers.” Or “we need to be more steadfast” or whatever.

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Doctor Science ❌👑 @doctorscience.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

I won't say it's just "most men". It's a big cultural thing. "Complementarianism" is the same idea in a fancy religious outfit. It's a VERY long-standing tradition that most people could go along with as long as women didn't have public roles that overlapped with men's.

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Doctor Science ❌👑 @doctorscience.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

YES! I call this "subtractive masculinity", & wrote about it in 2014: obsidianwings.blogs.com/obsidian_win... It leads to a masculine identity that's inherently fragile: if your identity is defined by what *other* people do/don't do, you've got an existential problem.

obsidianwings.blogs.com

Subtractive Masculinity

by Doctor Science I've mentioned my theory of subtractive masculinity from time to time, but I want to put it down coherently in one place. "Subtractive masculinity" means that out of the universe of ...

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Andrew McKenzie @padausyan.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

I recently had a convo with a guy like that about Plains Indians, who traditionally considered any facial hair unmanly, eyebrows and all (see Sitting Bull). They mocked the first bearded Americans they encountered as "hairy lip guys." Well, this interlocutor couldn't believe it. To him, it meant

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Bruce Wilson @brucewilson.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Man - YO LADIES WATCH ME DEADLIFT BIG WEIGHTS! Women - Fascinating. It's all about posture and form, right? Let me give it a try.

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Denise Bossert @denisebossert.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Which is where we’re at now.

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Panic! at Nabisco @sthomas451.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Sounds like an insane and miserable way to live.

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Rik M @r-m.northsky.social · 17/01/2025

It's probably a consequence of trying to define men and women as different things rather than variations on a theme ("Mars and Venus" hah, no. We're both Earth). If you insist on difference, then the urge is to try to enforce that, to *make* a difference where in reality none exists

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Elad Nehorai @eladn.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Not sure if “most” was the right word here, but will let other people decide that lol

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cousey1951.bsky.social @cousey1951.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

This anxiety about men might be a little overheated. Most men are content to keep fit, shop for and cook the family dinner, and still have the pep to help rearrange furniture.

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Sandy-O @sandy-o.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Once we were allowed to wear pants it was the beginning of the end.

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NotABadBoomer @nobodynohow.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

We men should learn to garden and appreciate nature. Oh and cooking. Cooking is a good way to let off steam, especially when making broccoli.

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Ennuimageddon @ennuimageddon.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Im starting a maga campaign to combat global warming solely to reduce the temperature enough to make it snow more often so that men can go back to writing our names in the snow with our pee.

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Hector Kavalares @hectoroftroy.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

That is one of the most interesting and succinct statements on that I have seen in a long time.

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richardpaulsimms.bsky.social @richardpaulsimms.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

📌

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serge @owningyourokayness.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

This tracks

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Nerdy Mushroom @nerdymushroom.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

And then they try to blame women for that and push women back out of things as though its completely mind boggling to just...exist together with women. But then, these same people don't see women as fully equally human so of course that thought never crossed their minds.

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ProgGrrl @proggrrl.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

📌

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Rebecca Johnson Bista @rebeccaji.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Ha! Maybe men should rethink their idea of making exclusionary definitions!

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Heavy Grasshopper @heavy-grasshopper.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Seems a lot easier to just not define masculinity at all, and then give the stink-eye to anyone who says something is or isn't masculine. Because unless you're talking about a penis, what does that even mean?!? Why would it matter? Who are you trying to please?

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crimsoncor @nowrench.com · 17/01/2025

Carries over to things like going to college and fields of employment too celestemdavis.substack.com/p/why-boys-d...

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Michele Bissacco 🇺🇦 🇵🇸 @micbi.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be...

celestemdavis.substack.com

I'm a feminist and I think it's harder to be a man than a woman.

Systemically women have it worse, but behaviorally, men are more limited.

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knob, drawer @drawerknob.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

“that’s so gay” = feeling any emotion other than self-righteous anger not great.

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Born To Be Wild @lab999.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Idk, i think those men who are only left with toxic parts could expand themselves by growing an interest and skill in the work they've assigned to women. I for one would thank them for finally getting rid of gender based roles. That they want to stay toxic victims rather than grow is the problem.

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Honey in Aotearoa @honeyinaotearoa.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

As always, Jane puts the female perspective right smack in the centre.

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It's ME(Jaime) @exceedhergrasp1.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

I hadn't thought of it that way. How sad

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leahaviv.bsky.social @leahaviv.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

‘Masculinity of the gaps’ Like God of the gaps, it is an unnecessarily impoverishing approach .

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Nathaniel C. Green @nathanielcgreen.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

The toxic part was, and has always been, defining masculinity as not-feminine. There's no other way to define it!

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MaryT @marymaryt.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

So we need to flood tech even faster with women to get the bros to want out

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🇲🇽🇺🇸mark statman🇺🇸🇲🇽 @markstatman.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

I’m not imagining this ends very well.

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Oliver @tomcat0815.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Hm. Wouldn't that imply women can't be toxic?

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Peter P Parker 🏴 @pizzaparker.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

in summary: god forbid a man have hobbies and some dipshit thinks he's effeminate for it

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Linda Wasson, G.E.D., B.S., M.F.A. @backroads-linda.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

ha ha ha !!! Never heard that before & I can promise you it's total nonsense. All of it. For 1 thing - how would anyone ever be able to take a sufficient poll of what "most" men think is masculine when that differs language to culture to generation? Riddle me that one! 😂

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🔞 riverrile 🇰🇷🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇦🇵🇸 @riverrile.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Sometime in the future: "Fellas, is it gay to--" "Yes." "I didn't even say what--" "YES"

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paddlefoot123.bsky.social @paddlefoot123.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Modern societies are in the seismic process of breaking down and redefining divisions based on gender. There is bound to be upheaval similar to or even surpassing that of the changes to social classes that have happened since the Enlightenment.

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Cora Strand @translady.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Surprise early release!

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Xaviera ANTIFA Barganski @lavenia.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Do we then have to assimilate those or are those like the giblets and neck bones in a chicken? Brought out on the holidays that use gravy. 🤔

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Jody @jodysaigs.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Omg this explains this unexplained societal shift towards misogyny. Very insightful!

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oldest_sql_user @exodyne.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

When something in the house makes a loud bang, my little dog runs to me for safety. Her peeking out from behind my leg give me a surprisingly strong jolt of "masculinity", as I am The Protector. 😄 /1

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redmcredred.bsky.social @redmcredred.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

I would not say most, large portions. But let's not let a stereotype out perform reality. I would guess that most men don't even care and just do whatever needs doing

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BernieWouldHaveWonAtista @handleunavailable.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Masculinity is a social construct and isn't real in any way. Femininity is a social construct and isn't real in any way We need to start framing social constructs as such and not allowing a narrative to inform our society.

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NP-Complete (aka Nellification) @np-complete.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

... which is presumably how you end up with things like men cutting their eyelashes (which I have heard rumors about: don't know for sure it's a real thing) because long eyelashes -- a genetically-determined feature, I assume! -- are "feminine".

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Rock Mondo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @rockmondo.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Only the weakest men let it be known they are -trying- to be Masculine. Real masculinity has more confidence than that, or at least has the sense to fake it. And being Nurturing does not take inches off your dick or bicep. It proves you are not a 3rd grader. Plumbing still works, I promise.

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Judith Basya @judithbasya.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Women pointed this out a while ago, fyi

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corpse J 🧟‍♀️ @zombiejerusalem.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

This just in being a world leader is super duper feminine It’s also really gay. If you’re the President you’re gay

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