iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Re all the discourse of little girls being sexualised: When I was 7 months old, I won a baby beauty pageant. We were on holiday at Pontins and my parents thought it would be a laugh. I was barely on solids. And no, the takeaway from this is not 'Zoe's just pissed because she's never won one since'.

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Michael Spicer @michaelspicer.bsky.social · 19h

Most TV is just this now.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 21h

I think my least favourite harmless social media trend is "X has the chance to do the funniest thing." I can never work out what that funny thing might be, and I assume I must be stupid for not immediately seeing it.

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Ryan @ryanwright.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

This is how I remember the order of Henry VIII’s wives.

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Gabby HC @scriblit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

*blackadder theme* His head is bigger than a fence He breathes, and everything gets warmer His urge to trample represents A nation's nuclear war trauma Godzilla! Godzilla! The scourge of beast and man! Godzilla! Godzilla! He's flattening Japan!

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

So let me get this straight, not only do the French get 2 hour lunch breaks but their toothpaste does their emails for them?

French toothpaste advertising 8 in 1, with a list of those features, including plaque, fraîcheur and, yes, émail.

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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

It's Bi Visibility Day, which means I'm only visible every two months, not twice a month.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Oh shit. Just realised that ironically I *didn't* remember this year that the 21st September was Earth Wind & Fire Day.

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Brainmage.itch.io @brainmage.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Happy bi visibility day. Don't forget to wear your bi-viz vests.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Happy to everyone else who merrily swings in all directions. Don't forget to unpretzel yourself and sit properly for a couple of minutes to give your back a break.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Bizarre things that happened in your assembly: The head teacher said she had something serious to tell us about an incident in the toilets and that she was going to use some "colourful language" to express how angry she was about it. Then from nowhere she yelled, "SOMEONE SHAT ON THE FLOOR!"

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Kat Brown @katbrownwrites.com · 23/09/2026

Husband was browsing guernseys on the RNLI website yesterday (they have exceptionally nice jumpers, decorations, and Christmas cards to send to Reform HQ without stamps on) and it was very heartening to see that you couldn’t get express delivery as an option due to “exceptional demand and support.”

High Demand Affecting Delivery

Free UK delivery on orders £50 and over
100% of profits support RNLI lifeboat crews
Shipping to Ireland: Customs Charges Apply

High Demand Affecting Delivery
Please note that due to exceptional demand and support for the RNLI, deliveries are currently taking longer than usual. We apologise for any inconvenienc

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Professionally Nosy @professionallynosy.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

My Rage Against the Machine/Les Mis mashup is complete. This is my interpretation of the quilt guild’s summer challenge “quilt with your interpretation and/or feelings towards our current ‘democracy’” all hand stitched.

Quilt hanging on a card catalog. Neutral background with navy cursive appliqué “Do you hear thr people sing?” The background is embroidered in red starting light and getting bolder the lyrics to “killing in the name” the quilting effect is a focused sunburst from the center.

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Gretchen McCulloch @gretchenmcculloch.com · 21/09/2026

bouba and kiki

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Mikel Reparaz @wikiparaz.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

PAUL: What’s in the box? REVEREND MOTHER: Pain. [PAUL hesitantly puts his hand in the BOX, then FROWNS IN CONFUSION. He pulls out A BAGUETTE.] REVEREND MOHER: Hōn hōn,

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

My confession is that I find people who think they're too good for the travelators at airports insufferably smug. So when I overtake them, I make an effort (also probably insufferably smugly) to show how little effort I'm putting in while still going faster than them. They never notice.

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huck mason @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

“you get those photos for the weed communion wafers ad?” “sure did, boss. real sexy, just like you asked.”

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

“We didn’t have this queer shit back in my day” dude, in the first world war we had Biplanes

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Not a restaurant but in my early days of silver service in the Officers' Mess of an Army based, I once poured gravy in someone's lap and, on a different occasion, tripped and dropped an entire tray of full champagne glasses over the Colonel.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Well, even as an atheist, I like to think that Carolyn and Herc will be... often in the same place, in that big ol' airport in the sky. GNU Stephanie Cole

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

The fun thing about having to explain all this to my colleagues in Germany is that even before we get to the violence, they can't get past the fact that we are an *island* and yet basically all our sea rescues are undertaken by volunteers from a charity.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Looking forward to the remake of the film Yesterday where Jack Malik pulls out of opening for Ed Sheeran and just... stays a global superstar, I guess?

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Ryan Vance @ryanvance.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I don’t think I’m hearing this in my head the way they expected me to.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

The problem is, I'm now worrying that the crabs and lobsters deliberately get the barnacles as a kind of crustacean tattoo or piercing, and now there are all these goth lobsters looking forlornly at their shells and going, "Bastard! It took me AGES to cultivate those!"

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

In an EFL textbook I did a few years ago, I wrote about a guy in London who gives free haircuts to the homeless. It turns out that a class in Leipzig wrote a letter to him as a project, and he came to visit them! Crying happy tears at what I've managed to start. www.instagram.com/reel/DdZN7M9...

instagram.com

Instagram

Create an account or log in to Instagram - Share what you're into with the people who get you.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

So Reform have launched an app that tracks small boats arriving in the UK in real time, and already their supporters are complaining that it's boring because there are hardly any boats. They are SO close to getting it.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I initially assumed this was a passive-aggressive warning about climate change but no, turns out, it's an electric billboard (which, ironically, is contributing to global warming).

An electric billboard with a picture of the sun and the name Global plus the message Hey, don't mind me, I'm just warming up

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Happy In-The-Same-Room-As-Greg Day to me!

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Just had to define the phrase "proper geezer" for a textbook, and there's nothing like having to write definitions for slang terms to make you feel so very old and middle class.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Well, that's Taskmaster fucked then.

Guardian headline from the section The hill I will die on:
Comedians should not be hot
Amy Annette

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Well, that puts the six hours I spent hyperventilating yesterday because I'd messed up an exercise on the passive and pissed off my editor *slightly* into perspective, I suppose.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

To be fair, there is *quite* a lot of crossover between the last two.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

I've been a reader of the Pom for a while so it was a pleasure to be able to write for them about my experience of motherhood and picking your battles.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Here's an idea, billionaires. Instead of pouring money and half the world's water into this crap, why not become old-school patrons and give your favourite writers/artists a ton of money so they produce actual art for you (and everyone else) and get to eat in the process?

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Ilikecaketoo (UK) @ilikecaketoo.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Disgraceful that the RNLI have to say this today, but here we are 😞. If you would like to donate👇🏻. rnli.org/support-us/g... #RNLI #RNLISavesLives

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

PSA for other hypermobile folks: Today I tried one of those tricks you see online where you put a cushion between your knees and a resistance band around your thighs, and holy shit I just sat and worked for an hour with *both feet on the floor and no pain* 🤩 Quick goblin crouch break then back in.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Just wrote something for a textbook which included a "It's not X - it's Y" structure, then sighed and deleted it so I'm not falsely accused of using AI. Thanks for ruining basic rhetoric, LLM wankers.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

The combination of having a gas stove and having breastfed two kids meant I couldn't get past the first three words. Ouch.

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Apple Womangton @caprovine.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Internet friendships are like "here's some drawn pornography that made me think of you"

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Can confirm. I immediately went, "BABY! 😍" upon seeing that photo. I also clap my hands and squeal with delight when I see an articulated lorry with no trailer attached to it because that 14ft chunk of metal is also a tiny baby. Humans will pack bond with anything. LLMs aren't clever.

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Adam Schwarz @adamjschwarz.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Every new prime minister gets to celebrate their 50th day in office by restoring Liz Truss's rightful title of 'UK's shortest serving prime minister'. Congrats, Andy Burnham.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

The baby was trying and failing to park her Bobby car satisfactorily. She got out, looked at it and sighed, "Such much bother," while shaking her head. Definitely using that one from now on.

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Apologies to all the weary travellers from around the world who boarded the train at Gatwick Airport this evening, only to be greeted by my toddler standing in the middle of the train and announcing triumphantly, "Hello! I did do a BURP!"

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Ed Morrish @edmorrish.com · 05/09/2026

finally some “stop the boats” activists who care about ALL boats, including ferries!

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Damon Young @damonyoung.com.au · 04/09/2026

This Finnish guy has been teaching himself Sumerian, and sent a cuneiform tablet to the British Museum to check his progress. They just emailed him that they've sent him something in the post. I'm now thrilled and excited for a total stranger! Clay tablet mail! www.reddit.com/r/Cuneiform/...

a photo of a hand holding a cuneiform tablet

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Jeffw @jeffw.bsky.social · 22/11/2023

You're so Venn. You probably think this diagram is about you

A Venn diagram with two circles featuring YOU which intersect unsurprisingly with YOU

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Happy Drinking A Coffee While It's Still Hot In A Quiet House Day to all parents who celebrate. We survived!

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Frank Herbert: 2 pages of explanatory notes for every new word or concept. Adrian Tchaikovsky: Some new words but easy to figure out from context. China Miéville: Fuck you, I'm writing half of this in a conlang and I will explain absolutely nothing so work it out for yourself, peasant.

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