Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Sometimes I reenact Shakespeare's tragedies with gummy bears. I would do the comedies too, but the main characters never survive to the end. 1134
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 21/09/2026I might be a bad person. But I'm also a phenomenonal nicompoop. 094
Reposted by Wilde Thingy 🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊 @professorkiosk.wtf · 10/09/2026no one cares about your finger puppets until you tell them they’re made with real fingers 37024
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 10/09/2026I was trying to take a sexy selfie but the best I could manage was archaic grandeur. 1133
Reposted by Wilde Thingy the hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 09/09/2026[explaining social media to aliens] yeah you basically scroll a little screen for hours and get absolutely furious 213337
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 09/09/2026I confort myself with the fact that, if AI really does exterminate humanity, at least it will completely tank Anthropic's share price. 082
Reposted by Wilde Thingy Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 08/09/2026More than anything, Jaws is a metaphor about the dangers of being attacked by a killer shark 28972149
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 09/09/2026See no evil. Hear no evil. Speak no evil. Tweet lots of evil. 0125
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Trying to be cute, I named my goldfish Jaws but now he's got major delusions of grandeur. Long story short, I'm going to need a bigger bowl. 0236
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 04/09/2026I wasted today worrying about tomorrow. I'll probably waste tomorrow regreting wasting today worrying about tomorrow. 1156
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 19/08/2026I went travelling to find myself. I must say, I was hugely disappointed with what I found. 1133
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 18/07/2026I want to be buried in an unmarked giant pyramid. 35916
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 14/07/2026Her: could things get any worse? Me: *adds raisins* there you go. 610838
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Life was so much simpler before evolution came along and spoilt it all. 091
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 23/06/2026Those who don't learn from history are condemned to repeat it. Those who don't learn trigonometry won't ever notice. 0278
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 19/06/2026I like the World Cup because all my favourite characters from a normal season come together in a massive cross over event. 072
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 01/06/2026Don't mock young people. I'm actually half millennial. 081
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 25/05/2026The main two things I look for in a date is she isn't a fucking idiot but she's not smart enough to realise I'm a fucking idiot. 0297
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 22/05/2026My boss being sacked for watching porn has really put me off porn. Or at least it's put me off watching it on his works computer. 1132
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 16/05/2026My cat just gifted me a dead bird. I really wish she could speak so I could ask her where the fuck she found an ostrich. 14813
Reposted by Wilde Thingy Reverie @augustreverie.bsky.social · 03/05/2026I suffered greatly all afternoon as the consequence of overeating. I have learned nothing and might have ice cream about it 815024
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 21/04/2026Global warming might be easier to tackle if there was an evil baddie to beat like "Oil Baron" or "Gas O'Line" or "Donald J Trump". 161
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 21/04/2026We spent so long pretending to be ironically self-absorbed assholes that we've forgotten we were joking. 13414
Reposted by Wilde Thingy ceej @ceej.online · 14/04/2026I fell for a psyop I saw on TV that convinced me to eat a cheeseburger 2384680
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 12/04/2026Freud: you are a slave to your unconscious impulses. Mrs Freud: really? Freud: All your dreams are about penises. Mrs Freud: OK... Freud: My ego is fucking super and I WANT TO FUCK MY MOTHER! Mrs Freud: *takes away his cocaine* 0151
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 01/04/2026I never knew what to do with my hands in photographs until I discovered how cool I look doing karate. 1145
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 29/03/2026Hugely suspicious that the only bird that ever quothed was the raven. Why has a penguin never quoth? 1710629
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 29/03/2026I didn't lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy. 0417
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 24/03/2026I'm not watching the news any more. It's not because it's scary or depressing or anything like that. I just find it all so depressingly stupid. 2287
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 20/03/2026I have a bottomless boat full of troubles. Though the first and most pressing of those troubles is my boat has no bottom. 0154
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 10/03/2026ChatGPT been completely no help in coming up with ideas about how best to redecorate this haunted whale corpse. 2145
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 09/03/2026I'm just one decent laminator away from owning a very convincing licence to kill. 0349
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 02/03/2026Though we all kinda know, it's impossible to define exactly what gist means. 1226
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 02/03/2026Me *lowering pizza into the freezer* "I love you." Pizza "I know." 15813
Reposted by Wilde Thingy Daniel Sugarman @danielsugarman.bsky.social · 01/03/2026Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has now achieved the impressive accolade of becoming the first ever presenter of Channel 4's Alternative Christmas Message to have been taken out by an Israeli airstrike. 618963
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 25/02/2026I only use balsamic vinegar made from the finest of ballsams. 2258
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 21/02/2026Just remember, death is more scared of you than you are of it. 45218
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 19/02/2026I'm a happy pig in the sheets and an unhappy philosopher on the streets 040
