Reposted by Village TimesJason @nickmotown.bsky.social · 23/08/2026Just remember - if you voice worries about raw sewage in our rivers, the planet being on fire or the rise of fascist billionaires, you're a moaning, woke, scaremongering leftie. If, however, you parrot some nakedly racist conspiracy theory or transphobic think piece, you have "legitimate concerns". 03311
Reposted by Village TimesLance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I tell ya, you can never know what's gonna happen in life. Why, just this morning I got a job reading people's fortunes! 0123
Reposted by Village TimesJane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 02/10/2026[Precisely 55 seconds into a hike] I'm not gonna make it, go on without me. 419169
Reposted by Village TimesJohn Scalzi @scalzi.com · 26/09/2026Whatever you do, don't smoke an entire brisket at a job interview, it's a lot of equipment to bring in, it takes a really long time to do it right and those conference rooms have notoriously poor ventilation 2938478842
Reposted by Village TimesJohn Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 26/09/2026The real monster is the one Dr. Frankenstein made along the way. 07428
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 22/09/2026A strong belief of mine is that all TV shows and films should end with a character saying the title of the show. This would make every ending distinct and memorable. Here's how I would alter the ending to Friends and Home Alone 2. 14475
Village Times @villagetimes.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Be aware! The Local Youth sold me a monthly subscription to the Metro for £10 a month. Discovered they were offering others an annual subscription for £119!! 110
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Here are my top 3 business ideas for September 2026. Please don't steal them and become a billionaire. 158214
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 10/09/2026Are there downsides to AI? Yes. But there are even more positives: CONS -Makes everything more expensive -Will kill us all PROS -AI is easy to spell -Summarises texts for some reason -We were all going to die sometime anyway See? 3 pros and only 2 cons. Hopefully this assuages everyone's concerns 219719
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Time to settle this age-old debate once and for all 14539
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 01/09/2026If I coached a football team, I'd have one test for any prospective player: show them a picture of a football and ask them to identify it. If they didn't know, I'd cancel the deal. If you don't know what a football is, you're not ready to play for this club. Come back when you've done some research. 12615
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Looks like yet another season in which Premier League matches are not being paused in the 79th minute for a respectful silence to commemorate the destruction of Pompeii in 79AD. I've given them the benefit of the doubt for a long time but at this stage it's starting to look downright callous. 1410011
Reposted by Village TimesJames @northamptonian.bsky.social · 30/06/2026To mark the demise of Humphrey Smith, here’s the @daveyjones.bsky.social dig at the Sam Smiths chain and their somewhat eccentric / complete nutcase owner Humphrey the other year. 720674
Village Times @villagetimes.bsky.social · 13/08/2026Apparently I need to have more followers than I follow, so I have had to make some tough decisions. Hanging on @sirmichael.bsky.social 's coattails isn't the follower boost one would expect. 110
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 11/08/2026My greatest skill? Probably my ability to hear a person's name and then devise fun and clever nicknames for them. For example, here are my best nicknames for a person named James Verylargehead: - Jim - Jimmy - JV - Jimbo - Jimster And those only took me about thirty-five minutes to come up with. 16614
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 12/08/2026The fool (you) rushes outside to see the partial solar eclipse today but the wise man (me) relaxes inside because he knows that the more satisfying experience of a full solar eclipse is coming in September 2090. 13615
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 05/08/2026There are lots of interesting facts about the Titanic. But there are plenty of uninterestings ones too, which, imo, are equally important to know. 13547
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 07/08/2026WARNING: Local youths in the park are terrorising charcuterie board fans with vicious insults. They were highly critical of my vegetable to cured meats ratio and said that my choice of cheeses was “ill-considered.” PLEASE STAY SAFE BY EATING YOUR CHARCUTERIE ELSEWHERE UNTIL THEY HAVE BEEN STOPPED. 22606
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 02/08/2026Cheese graters are not just for grating cheese! They've got lots of other uses: 1. Stand on it to make yourself appear slightly taller 2. Help a friend to appear taller by letting them stand on it Okay, seems there's only two. I thought there'd be hundreds. My mistake. Please disregard this post. 12756
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 28/07/2026We need new TV detectives. Here are my three ready-to-go ideas. If any TV bigwigs want to commision these shows, please get in touch 149012
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 24/07/2026I've put together a quick study guide for anyone who's got an important upcoming exam about Neptune. Hope this helps. 227710
Reposted by Village TimesMark Hamill @markhamillofficial.bsky.social · 20/07/2026For those of you that ever wondered what scares the shit out of him: #FabFord 831313769029
Reposted by Village TimesPam @hadenoughnow.bsky.social · 16/07/2026Gina G sang a helpful song about that, representing the UK at Eurovision, Michael. "Ooh ah, just a little bit, ooh ah, a little bit more". She was basically describing how to make a Victoria sponge. 091
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 16/07/2026I don't want to criticise online bakers (many of whom I respect) but one trend I dislike is when they use “tsp” and “tbsp” in the same recipe. Yes, it's nice to add variety to the wording of your recipe but since they mean the same thing, you should pick one and just stick with it. 25807
Village Times @villagetimes.bsky.social · 16/07/2026Enough already. Can't wait to start complaining about the rain and the cold. #Bridport 000
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 09/07/2026So glad I'm not a referee at this World Cup b/c I wouldn't know what to do during hydration breaks. I'm not gregarious enough to chat with the players but I'm too cool to be seen hanging out with the assistant refs. Ultimately I'd maybe just take my phone out and pretend to be texting or something. 138410
Village Times @villagetimes.bsky.social · 07/07/2026It's my understanding that Trump has asked FIFA to overturn Belgium's 4 goals... 😂 120
Reposted by Village TimesCathal Kennedy @cathalkennedy.bsky.social · 06/07/2026More human misery caused by Trump, Rubio, Vance etc... 011
Village Times @villagetimes.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Love that Farage is claiming an establishment conspiracy over his at least £5.27m in donations, from men who have, apparently, no interest in paying him. Nigel honey, not only are you now the establishment, you are the lord of the establishment 240
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 06/07/2026My solution to the Balogun controversy? He can play but he must carry a plate of hors d'oeuvres throughout. If he drops any, he's sent off again. Belgian players are allowed to eat the appetisers but one of them contains poison. If a Belgian player dies from food poisoning, Balogun is sent off again 2610015
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 30/06/2026My idea to spice up the World Cup? The World Cup Mole. Before each match, both teams get to plant a secret saboteur in the opposing team's starting eleven. Nobody knows who the mole is. Although there are some suspicions among the French players about their newly arrived left-back Sven Olofsson. 159612
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 23/06/2026My conspiracy theory on why no World Cup matches have been played at the same time so far? There's only one ball and it's transported to each venue between matches. FIFA doesn't want you to know that if a 2nd ball isn't found in time for tomorrow's simultaneous games, the tournament gets cancelled. 159817
Reposted by Village TimesThe Guardian @theguardian.com · 19/06/2026Burnham the mystic with a mission is all smiles after Makerfield coronation | John Cracetheguardian.comBurnham the mystic with a mission is all smiles after Makerfield coronation | John CraceThere would be no more sadness. No more despair. A change was a-coming – and he would work tirelessly to make it happen 8416
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 16/06/2026My least favourite thing in the World Cup? When a team scores a goal. It's so selfish. It hurts the feelings of opposing players, embarrasses them and damages their confidence. Awful. If I was a coach, I'd forbid my team from scoring. "Stop scoring goals. Start considering other people's feelings." 3111114
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 17/06/2026Always makes me laugh when I see people who are only discovering Lionel Messi now. It's like, where have you been, lol?! Hardcore fans like me have known about him from as far back as 2023. 109210
Village Times @villagetimes.bsky.social · 15/06/2026This is terrifying, surely that invalidates the Ts&Cs (which I imagine are very much in the consumer's favour?) 010
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 09/06/2026I could no longer hold my tongue on this issue 21555
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 13/06/2026Seeing a lot of criticism for the World Cup hydration breaks and I must vent my fury too. They shouldn't just be for water. There should be picnic tables and sandwiches for the players to sit down and enjoy each other's company. They should last two hours. The player who makes the most friends wins. 1510415
Village Times @villagetimes.bsky.social · 05/06/2026Absolutely love the new @irnbru.bsky.social advert. #Scotland #IrnBru #TheTartanArmy www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1jN...youtube.comIRN-BRU - We're Made in Scotland from Girders (Official Video)YouTube video by irnbru 020
Reposted by Village TimesCiara | Ciaraíoch 🎨 @ciaraioch.bsky.social · 27/05/2026Sunscreen is wild, like what do you mean the radiant might of a gigantic plasma inferno of a star fueled by the unimaginable power of nuclear fusion is defeated by a ten euro tube of cream 21904155
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 27/05/2026Heatwaves like this are the perfect way for me to separate true soup fans from the casuals who claim to love soup but only have it in winter. If you're not chowing down on a lovely vegetable soup for lunch in this 30°C weather, YOU ARE A FRAUD and your invitation to SoupCon 2027 just got revoked. 23829
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 30/05/2026Arsenal may have lost the Champions League final but thanks to the earlier kick-off time this year, their players will be able to go to bed early and get a full night's sleep - unlike the teams who've lost all the previous finals. Hope their manager reminded them of that to cheer them up afterwards. 12798
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 02/06/2026Very excited for the return of House of the Dragon! It's been off air since 2024 so here's a quick catch-up on everything I remember from the first two seasons: - Some blond people said various things - Dragon fight, maybe? - The Lumon employees have had their personalities "severed" somehow 12547
Reposted by Village Timeskevinpieter @kevinpieter.bsky.social · 22/05/2026Happy to hear your Nan got the webpage to Toad on her iPad. 121
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 12/05/2026Were these films named correctly or incorrectly? After much consideration, here are my definitive assessments 14809
Village Times @villagetimes.bsky.social · 14/05/2026Great to see @sirmichael.bsky.social and Sturdy Wheelbarrows continues to raise awareness of #wheelbarrows 030
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 27/04/2026Here's a helpful guide on this issue for anyone who needs it 157511
Reposted by Village TimesSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 23/04/2026Really not sure this needed its own Wikipedia page but it's interesting information nonetheless 179313