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Alexis Bates

@thisishuman.bsky.social
134 followers 82 following 870 posts

existential essayist

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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
the scapegoat mechanism is employed to reinforce assimilation when it is threatened by a realer truth
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
2026 has taught me that I cannot teach Human Rights 211 to people who have not taken Human Rights 100 or passed the equally important Life Experiences at the 200-300 level with a passing grade of 87% or higher. And I have GOT to *checks notes* stop trying!
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illumi @yallchemist.bsky.social · 15/02/2026
“love is in the air” wrong, pepper spray
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 19/09/2024
ikwim
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 22/10/2023
it's a fun time in history to join a cult
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 19/09/2024
great news im back to chokin on that dick
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Betty Bullshark @seasickseasick.bsky.social · 09/04/2024
What a little baby bitch
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 20/10/2023
not dead inside just not feeling the vibes here and conserving my energy like a real vibemaster
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scary pøppïns @poppinswtf.bsky.social · 04/01/2024
Liv: wow, baby. everyone wants to fuck you. Me: i just announced that im a pleasure domme, that sound you hear is the roar of dolls stampeding at me.
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 04/01/2024
hey bots I love and miss you and would love your approval and assistance w new writing opps
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Stephanie King @stephstephking.bsky.social · 02/01/2024
Okay January 1 was, like, a test run
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Stephanie King @stephstephking.bsky.social · 13/12/2023
Stop calling it "vegan leather" and call it pleather, as god intended
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illumi @yallchemist.bsky.social · 03/01/2024
this is the energy I’m bringing to 2024
Text: no one fucking likes you 

Response: word I’ll drink to that
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illumi @yallchemist.bsky.social · 03/01/2024
fuck. I mean… yes.
Lego man: hey doc I can’t shake this cough

Lego doctor: do you smoke?

Lego man: smoke what?

Lego doctor: *stares annoyed*
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 01/01/2024
had the best sex of my life in 2024
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Betty Bullshark @seasickseasick.bsky.social · 27/12/2023
My mind is emitting a horrific signal
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Betty Bullshark @seasickseasick.bsky.social · 27/12/2023
In need of torture
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illumi @yallchemist.bsky.social · 25/12/2023
Santa deniers be like “nuh uh that was my parents depicted on Coca Cola bottles in the 1930s”
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Betty Bullshark @seasickseasick.bsky.social · 23/12/2023
🌸
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 18/12/2023
im v much an eye for an eye kind of person and ykw??? good for me if i am strong enough to take their eye with only one eye then i deserve my revenge !
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 18/12/2023
about me :(
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 12/10/2023
humans aren't naturally good or evil we are naturally idiots and that's precious
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 18/12/2023
i can't believe this was the wrong answer :((
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 18/12/2023
My actual patron deities: UMMMMMMMM???????
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 18/12/2023
Many have not recovered.
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 26/10/2023
who wants to lick palms and give thanks to each other's salted bodies?
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erin morgenstern @erinmorgenstern.bsky.social · 14/12/2023
I have been reminded that I don't post about my tarot deck enough and it does in fact make a lovely gift for the tarot-inclined. Over a decade ago I painted a black-and-white tarot deck, it was published last year and you can find it where decks & books are sold 🖤 bookshop.org/p/books/the-...
The box for the Phantomwise Tarot, with metallic silver filigree and a black-and-white striped hot air balloon (the Chariot), sitting on a messy spread of the cards and there are glimpses of swords and bunnies and pirates and off to the side Anubis is weighing a heart against a feather.
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Betty Bullshark @seasickseasick.bsky.social · 14/12/2023
I'd like to go home please
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Betty Bullshark @seasickseasick.bsky.social · 06/12/2023
Flicking a paper football into the pussy
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 11/12/2023
he picked me up for our date in a tow truck and honestly I loved it
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Aja Romano @bookshop.bsky.social · 30/11/2023
Vox picked a hell of a moment to lay off some of the best foreign/world affairs writers in the industry, along with gutting an acclaimed award-winning industry standard-setting video team. Please consider supporting our colleagues today if you can. gofund.me/7366a0d5
gofund.me
Vox Media Union Layoff Relief, organized by Ashok Selvam
In November, Vox Media announced it was laying off 4 percent of the workforce. These are de… Ashok Selvam needs your support for Vox Media Union Layoff Relief
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Ilana Masad @ilanaslightly.bsky.social · 02/12/2023
No, suffering doesn't have to be meaningful. Of course it doesn't. But making meaning out of suffering is part of how we cope with it, and I'm kind of tired of this cultural pushback trying to strip away a very human coping mechanism away from us
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Ilana Masad @ilanaslightly.bsky.social · 02/12/2023
It's so funny how friendships can cause as much "omg am I being needy / possessive / overbearing" concerns as romantic relationships.
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viagetty @afraid.bsky.social · 20/11/2023
Don’t let anyone tell you who to ride or die for
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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 20/11/2023
if you can't handle me at my worst (Posting), you don't deserve me at my best (Logged off)
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 18/11/2023
still young and scrappy
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Ilana Masad @ilanaslightly.bsky.social · 18/11/2023
we should call things "darling" as a polite put down more often
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viagetty @afraid.bsky.social · 18/11/2023
Gremlin ass about to make me act up
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Jared Beloff @readinstead.bsky.social · 18/11/2023
My 7yo is angry and in tears over the treatment of Kevin at the start of Home Alone. The premises we accept for plot are the cruelties we refuse to see in real life...
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Alexis Bates @thisishuman.bsky.social · 16/11/2023
asking daddy if i can play home invasion
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Giraud, basically @giraud.bsky.social · 16/11/2023
True neutral cottage cheese cottage
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scary pøppïns @poppinswtf.bsky.social · 16/11/2023
chaotic cheese hostel lawful yogurt inn good butter bed and breakfast evil cream motel
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perceivabelle (pls don’t) @perceivabelle.bsky.social · 12/11/2023
Meme with two pictures of a completely spaced out racoon (one picture half transparent), he has his with eyes wide open, before a psychodelic pink and purple and blue background with little stars and the following lines of text:

„Things are constantly happening“

„And I would like for it to stop (please)“
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viagetty @afraid.bsky.social · 07/11/2023
dyselxia is relative
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