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third fiddle

@thirdfiddle.bsky.social
379 followers 642 following 346 posts

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Reposted by third fiddle
Avery Edison @averyedison.com · 18/05/2026
today on the streetcar the man sitting across from me ended what seemed like an important business call with “well, as snoopy would say: gawrsh!” then he frowned, looked at me, mouthed “goofy?”, I nodded, then he said “I’m just being goofy!” and hung up, and gave me a thumbs up
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Will Weldon @oldmanweldon.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
Too many "subway takes", not enough "taking subways"
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Rev. Poppy Haze 𓅋 @poppyhaze.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
found this guy on Tiktok who has discovered carpenter's speed squares make an insanely satisfying noise when you bounce them off tires or wood, called @lostcoastedc on there
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Dave Jorgenson @davejorgenson.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
Reese Witherspoon is “curious” about AI. Also, Palantir posted its CEO’s manifesto. And ChatGPT seems to have helped a mass shooter plan his attack.
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Ed Morrish @edmorrish.com · 19/05/2026
the fuck it will
A white man in a business suit pointing a handgun at an open laptop
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U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission @cpsc.gov · 21/05/2026
Darth after careful consideration we cannot recommend gently squeezing the asbestos toy.
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Would love to redraw or repost this one but it’s truly a relic of its time
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
Something instead of nothing
Comic strip, page 1: a chimpanzee is using sign language to communicate to a zookeeper, “Why is there something instead of nothing?” The zookeeper laughs to his colleagues, “He wants another banana!” The other zoo workers are cracking up hysterically behind him.Page 2: Later, the main zookeeper is in a dark room filled with TVs displaying security footage of the zoo animals. He is soaking wet in a raincoat, staring solemnly at the screen which shows the chimpanzee. The zookeeper reaches down to press a large red button on the desk beneath the screen display.Page 3: from inside the chimpanzee exhibit, we see the security gate open. The chimpanzee wander through and exits the building to a dark, rainy street corner. He extends his arms and lets the rain fall onto him.Page 4: the chimpanzee is in the backseat of a cab, driving somewhere else in the city at night. The final panel is the chimpanzee at checkout in a grocery store with a huge pile of bananas. The clerk looks mildly shocked.
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Nevermind
Three panel comic. Panel 1: a (presumed) scientist is seated at a table next to a giant ground sloth. There is a an iPod connected to a speaker on the table (Note to Gen Z and Gen Alpha readers: an iPod is a pocket size portable electronic device on which you can download and play music, but which typically does not have the ability to access the internet or take phone calls.) The scientist says, “Giant ground sloth, you’ve been un-extincted. Do you have any questions?” Panel 2: the ground sloth remarks on the music playing from the iPod, which is shown to be Nirvana’s hit album “Nevermind”. It says, “this band rocks! They still tour?” Panel 3: the scientists face contorts with emotion as he gently rests his hand on the giant paw of the ground sloth.
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
Not in the mood
Three panel comic. Panel 1: a guy is talking to a girl. He motions off panel and says, “oh, hey— have you met Penguin Pimp?” Panel 2: Penguin Pimp, an emperor penguin wearing a leopard-print fedora, gold jewelry, and green pinstripe zoot suit, shakes the girl’s hand, tips his hat and says, “ICE to meet you.” The girl remains silent and doesn’t immediately react at all. Panel 3: Penguin Pimp awkwardly smiles and says “that usually gets a laugh.” The girl holds her head, seemingly exasperated, and says, “sorry. I just worked a 14-hour shift.”
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
Amazing graph posted on the subreddit
A four-quadrant graph ranking random characters from beetle moses comics on axes: y = would/wouldn’t smash ; x = nightmare/dream blunt rotation
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
Two panel comic. Panel 1: a pair of paleontologists are standing in front of a set of four fossilized dinosaur tracks on the ground in a diamond shape. One paleontologist exclaims, “what a bizarre track formation!” The other replies, “what could it mean?” Panel 2: a deinonychus is playing Dance Dance Revolution on the classic arcade setup in the middle of the Cretaceous period. He is scoring crazy points and his friends, a ceratopsid and spinosaurid are watching excitedly.
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The Go Off Kings @gooffkings.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
We are now a political stream again.
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Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
classic left-wing hypocrisy. @katmabu.bsky.social CLAIMS to be woke, yet cheered when her charges were dismissed with PREJUDICE.
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Vintage Jerseys & Hats @polyesterunis.com · 21/05/2026
I prefer "canoesseur."
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Caitlin G. DeAngelis @caitlindeangelis.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
This one reminds me of those times when the captions for Far Side comics got swapped with Dennis the Menace.
A blue postcard with a lithograph of three adorable tabby kittens knocking over a tea set and drinking cream. Above them, the words “We are more than conquerors , through Him that lived us, Rom. 8:37”
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Paul Scheer @paulscheer.com · 01/05/2026
The only way to give birth
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Jared Pechaček @vandroidhelsing.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
OOH I WAS WONDERING WHAT THEY’D WEAR
Janelle Monáe in a dress like AstroTurf entwined with circuitry
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Lyse @lyse.myatproto.social · 05/05/2026
I cackled
unsettlingstories
When will Microsoft Edge finally be allowed to Microsoft Cum :(

unsettlingstories
Ever post something and wonder later if your medication is slowly poisoning you?
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Dom Ervolina @dominicervolina.com · 05/05/2026
Someone out there decided it would be a good idea to put a German Shepherd in charge of babysitting a bunch of Doberman puppies and they were 100% correct
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Barry Petchesky @barryp.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
Fun backstory here. Sabs blogged about how much they hated those Grammarly commercials. The actor, Jude, turned out to be a Defector reader and was down to make this ad happen. defector.com/vindicated-a...
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Slideshare Gems @goodslides.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
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Slideshare Gems @goodslides.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
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Jason Fanhees @jasonfanelli.com · 03/05/2026
ps1ps1ps1ps1ps1
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incredulousbear @incredulousbear.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
Literally me frfr
Paul Sheer with his hand to his brow, with a look of consternation and perplexity
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warrior cop @wyattprivilege.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
💬 Sorry about that. You are correct. You do have a colorable claim against the government for breach of due process for granting your ex wife a divorce you did not consent to. Should I draft a complaint based on our conversation so far?
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Tom Gauld @tomgauld.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
My latest books cartoon for the @theguardian.com
Panel 1
A repulsive voice rises from a hole in the wilderness
"Remember when books used to be fun? Before the box tickers and bean counters took over?"

Panel 2 to 4
We follow the voice to an cave where an audience watches a fly/demon/monster at a lectern continue "Publishers used to take risks: Books opened portals to hell, drove readers insane, or just moaned in a horrible way! When did you last see a broadsheet review of a book by a mad monk, an evil skeleton or a hobgoblin? My new imprint will challenge the publishing industry's pro-human bias with a ceaseless stream of foul books by malevolent authors."

Panel 5
The fly/demon/monster triumphantly finished
"Also, we'll be doing it entirely with AI!"
The ghouls of the audience shout
"Boo!"
"Shame!"
"Disgraceful!"
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Arizona Right Watch @azrww.bsky.social · 01/05/2026
There was a low level GOP official ousted from his position earlier this year (Brian Ference) and I’ve been slowly watching as he rebranded his socials into a buff AI podcaster with American flags tattooed all over his chest and arms and gaining tens of thousands of new followers as a result.
Brian Ference -a pasty white man with a normal build, brown hair, and wire rim glasses. He’s wearing a red button up and black overcoat.Sword Truth — the alternative identity of Brian Ference.

Sword Truth is a tan buff man with thick black hair combed back and a full black beard. He’s got shittily generated American flags tattooed on both his arms. He’s sitting down in front of a podcast mic while wearing a black jean vest and no shirt, exposing his ripped abs and vein-y body. Behind the AI fake man is an AI fake suburban living room. You can feel Brian Ference’s need for therapy in one single screenshot.
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Slideshare Gems @goodslides.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
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Slideshare Gems @goodslides.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
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Slideshare Gems @goodslides.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
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Alex Spahn 🌋🌪️☄️ @spahn711.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
I accidentally scared the crap out of this adorable purple gallinule while it was walking across lily pads looking for a meal. #Photography
A purple gallinule standing among green grasses while on lily pads in clear water. The bird features a bright red and yellow bill, a white patch on its head, and purple-blue iridescent feathers.
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Cat Manning @catacalypto.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
bluesky rocks
Sky Marchini excited about a petting zoo then immediately confused about why they’re getting @ tagged in messages about the FBI (which are unrelated to the petting zoo)
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andy™ @andylevy.net · 12/04/2026
[belatedly] baseball is stupid
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andy™ @andylevy.net · 17/04/2026
baseball is stupid lol
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andy™ @andylevy.net · 18/04/2026
baseball is stupid x 10
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andy™ @andylevy.net · 19/04/2026
baseball is stupid and should be illegal
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andy™ @andylevy.net · 22/04/2026
el béisbol es estúpido
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andy™ @andylevy.net · 26/04/2026
baseball is stupid
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depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
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Merrymac Farm Sanctuary @merrymacsanctuary.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
In case you missed it: bsky.app/profile/dors...
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Merrymac Farm Sanctuary @merrymacsanctuary.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
Do horses want cake? We conducted an investigation into statements published by @bencollins.bsky.social in the print edition of @theonion.com.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 14/04/2026
Soaring Gas Prices Forcing More Americans To Drink Less Gas
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The Onion @theonion.com · 15/04/2026
Poor Sleep Linked To Gong theonion.com/poor-sleep-linked-to-g…
Poor Sleep Linked To Gong
Instrument’s Loud, Resonant Crash Can Be Disruptive
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The Onion @theonion.com · 17/04/2026
“I thought I had it under control, but then I got promoted, and suddenly I was skipping every happy hour to stay late on Zoom calls with clients in other time zones,” said Andrew Tesser
theonion.com
Increased Work Commitments Causing Man To Neglect Alcohol
WATERBURY, CT—Admitting his career had come between him and what mattered most, local man Andrew Tesser confirmed Thursday that mounting work obligations had caused him to seriously neglect his relati...
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Jason Kirk @jasonkirk.fyi · 20/04/2026
lmao
"learn to float" ad by onion infowars
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Mark @cdi.bsky.social · 19/04/2026
I’ve always wanted to hold a small pinball tournament where the only rule was that you’re not allowed to move Meatloaf.
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Dan Olson @foldablehuman.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
Every time I go to the downtown library I get to enjoy just how rad the entrance is
Entrance of the Calgary Public Library in downtown Calgary featuring a wide tunnel lined in moulded wood paneling creating a large, visually striking arch
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donoteat @donoteat.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
it's coming
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The Onion @theonion.com · 22/04/2026
You are being lied to. And there's only one man who knows the truth. Jim Haggerty returns, only on InfoWars.
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