Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 20/10/2026Do you follow your adult children on social media or do you want to love them unconditionally? 0339 33
Reposted by HelleSarge The Destroyer @sargethedestroyer.bsky.social · 17/08/2026I'm so fucking sick of needed apps for shit. Like, I'm buying a fucking coffee, bro. We don't need a computer for this. 172 7
Reposted by HelleAmish Super Model @amishsupermodel.bsky.social · 08/06/2026I’ve realized that a major obstacle in my career has been that I’m not a very good ass-kisser. 3407 40
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 06/06/2026She remembers all the other shows though. And the songs I used to play. So I give her a pass. Her favorite song is Crazy Train. 150 5
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 06/06/2026Probably AI chatbots now. There are no sexy single women in your area waiting to talk on the phone with you for $3.99 a minute. 200 2
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 06/06/2026You were living your best life. Cherish the memories 💜 but also now I’m wondering if I should buy any of this shit. 120 2
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 06/06/2026Probably Home Shopping Network, not that I’d know personally or anything. 250 5
Reposted by HelleHelle @straightfromhelle.com · 20/03/2026REM told us we’d feel fine, but I don’t. 108932 89
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 06/06/2026My daughter called & asked how’s it going? And I said I don’t know I’m drinking some vodka, making a frozen pizza & watching QVC on a Saturday night so how do you think it’s going? After a long pause, she says “what’s QVC?” 3448027 480
Reposted by HelleJake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 05/06/2026Real life is a silly distraction from movies and video games 130157 301
Reposted by Helle🥟 @mandu-x.bsky.social · 08/05/2026The road not taken was probably under construction anyway 0186 18
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 05/05/2026It’s a good thing I wasn’t able to travel to DC to tailgate the King’s visit because I would’ve thrown back a pint or 20 & held up a boom box blaring In Your Eyes 130 3
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 02/05/2026The vet said my dog needs to lose weight so I asked if she’s prescribing him pupzemic or wagovy. And that’s how I realized the vet doesn’t appreciate my sense of humor. 1226 22
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 30/04/2026It would make more sense to have beach balls the size of oranges so his tiny hands could grasp them. 030 3
Reposted by HelleJake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 27/04/2026Don't be a condiment cop. Let people use however much ketchup, mustard, etc., that they want to use. 48312 83
Reposted by HelleChucky @chuckedahl.bsky.social · 05/04/2026i was blocked today. although i wish it was because of something i'd written, i suspect is was just a random act of kindness 031 3
Reposted by HelleAmish Super Model @amishsupermodel.bsky.social · 18/03/2026Pro Tip: I’m way funnier and much better looking if you’re drinking. 33310 33
Reposted by HelleJake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 18/03/2026Keep your snacks close. Your friends and enemies will sort themselves out. 016258 162
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 25/02/2026Apple Watch: learn more about your sleep! Me: no need, I don’t do that anymore 042 4
Reposted by HelleHelle @straightfromhelle.com · 13/03/2025My favorite fairytale is Law & Order. The bad guys go to jail and the good guys feel bad about it over whisky. 24411 44
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 30/10/2025I mean he was the one who brought up post birth abortion first 🤷🏼♀️ 010 1
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 30/10/2025I’m old and disabled so like every day is Monday for me. Be thankful ya heathen. 140 4
Reposted by HelleYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 29/10/2025please make my gravestone a skee-ball machine and if you just want to come play skee-ball with no other type of grieving agenda that's totally cool with me (who is dead) 625641 256
Reposted by HelleUndead President Warren G. Harding @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social · 29/10/2025An extremely offline friend just referred to the lockdown as "Two Thousand and Covid" and that is how I will be referring to it from now on. 0226 22
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 06/06/2025I love him! I saw him live once in a very small venue. He’s amazing. 040 4
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 04/05/2025I first read this in college (so many years ago!) and it has remained one of my favorites 020 2
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 20/04/2025Thou shall celebrate the resurrection of your savior with fireworks ~ Book of Holler Ch 1 V 1 041 4
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 07/04/2025Stranger Things led me to believe there’d be more slimy tentacled monsters in the upside down. I guess they got the slimy part right. 061 6
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 05/04/2025Freddie says it’s Frenchie Friday. He likes to put his toys under the coffee table & then gets mad when he can’t get them out. 2251 25
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 05/04/2025At least he can blame the brain worm when things go south 080 8
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 05/04/2025Streaming services as restaurants: Netflix = Taco Bell Disney = McDonalds Peacock = Raising Canes Prime = Applebees Paramount = Olive Garden Max = Longhorn Apple = McCormick & Schmicks 030 3
Reposted by HelleKeenan @keenan313.bsky.social · 19/03/2025It's easy to never have to look below the surface, when you've always lived above it 042 4
Reposted by HelleAmish Super Model @amishsupermodel.bsky.social · 18/03/2025I wish dread burned more calories. 25914261 914
Helle @straightfromhelle.com · 17/03/2025One of my kids is leaving tomorrow to live abroad and I think I’ve felt every emotion there is today. 030 3
