Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 01/10/2026a caterpillar almost entirely disintegrates in its chrysalis including most of its brain yet when it emerges as a butterfly it somehow still remembers how to blast cigs 020
Reposted by Star LureSan Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance @sandiegozoo.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Just a lil guy and his mulberry branch 252436659
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 01/10/2026White House Ballroom FAQ Q: when will the ballroom be finished? A: the ballroom will open in 2028 if the courts do not declare it an illegal ballroom Q: will the ballroom be racist? A: yes, the ballroom will be racist 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 01/10/2026beautiful women say there are 2 types of men they wish to marry: (i) men who think the obviously AI generated sexual 19 yo is real and leave them weird mewling horny replies or (ii) men who also think the obviously AI generated sexual 19 yo is real but leave them weird hateful misogyny replies 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 30/09/2026they're saying it should be illegal to clock anything as hard as I clocked this admin in March 2025 110
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 30/09/2026"lol shut up virgin " -pontius pilate responding to mary's pleas 000
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 30/09/2026I've always wanted a button in my car for apologizing to the driver behind me in case I accidentally do something rude but cutting someone off then flashing "Sorry! That was my bad 😥" would absolutely make road rage guys shoot me in the head 031
Reposted by Star Lurephil @philjamesson.com · 30/09/2026as always when this is posted, i have to fondly remember the time someone stole this tweet word for word, including using my name as the punchline, then claimed it was just independent discovery 395549662
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 27/09/2026"shriek loudly and hit people with a big stick" - Teddy Roosevelt if he was a horrid little goblin 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 27/09/2026what is it about the UK that it seems to produce and elevate so many of these weird tut tut busybody perverts? maybe there's a gas leak 040
Reposted by Star LureMike Ginn @shutupmikeginn.bsky.social · 26/09/2026porn is so deeply misogynistic. i just watched a video with dozens of performers going at it, and they literally hadn’t bothered to hire a single woman. 149121442021
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 27/09/2026you ever crave a specific dish and decide to try a new place instead of hitting up your regular place and then the new place turns out to be so mediocre that it doesn't even satisfy the craving? anyway here is my 2nd chicken tibs of the weekend 110
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 27/09/2026there's something magical about Japan that makes people not go "wait it's a cafe that has owls and the owls have to interact with the public all day? how the fuck could that possibly be ethical" 140
Reposted by Star Lurerob @ok-but-still.bsky.social · 27/09/2026on r/walking getting into a fight about arm swing that has me posting my home address and photos of me with a bunch of guns 118420
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Dr Kinsey was like "hey I made a mathematical scale to represent how gay you are. you're for sure a 6 lmao" 010
Reposted by Star LureStar Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 30/05/2025in college we called thursdays "thirsty thursdays" because we'd all eat spoonfuls of salt and do aerobics to see who could get most dehydrated 053
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 24/09/2026[trying to evangelize at a bdsm club] Jesus is like the ultimate dommy mommy. and we are all his kittens 130
Reposted by Star LureJP @jpbrammer.bsky.social · 23/09/2026it's important to arrive at sturdy ethical principles that you can't be annoyed out of. people are annoying as shit 3460361484
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 24/09/2026I accuse every 30 something blue eyed white woman of secretly being jonbenet ramsey and one day I'll be right 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 24/09/2026I don't want to toot my own horn. give me your horn so I can toot that instead 100
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 23/09/2026[youth group pastor] yes, the bible instructs us to honor our father. but that doesn't mean we are to honor or abet his sinful behavior, bowser jr 000
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 23/09/2026it's so sad that Gwyneth Paltrow was able to tarnish a word as beautiful as 'goop' 1142
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 19/09/2026what fresh incisive reporting. how about next you give us a thinly veiled PR article on a billionaire who is using his fortune to fight aging or a disquieting pro natalism couple who lowkey come across as cannibals 000
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 19/09/2026he's just boasting he's just trolling he's just trying to trigger the news media wait it turns out the guy who constantly told lies I made excuses for isn't trustworthy? what the fuck 000
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Mochi's great conflict is that he is scared of hands yet yearns for their caress 073
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 19/09/2026[incels in world of Hello Kitty] girls won't date you if you aren't at least 6 apples tall 😡 061
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 19/09/2026[me after betraying my friends for material gain] can we PLEASE normalize betraying your friends for material gain? 020
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 16/09/2026the world's premier ethicists are deadlocked as to whether it's justified to elder abuse Mitch McConnell and elder fraud him into signing his estate over to my financially unsustainable dark fantasy themed burlesque circus 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 16/09/2026a man in a lab coat and impenetrable spectacles observes 8 yo Macklemore alone in a small room through a one way mirror. Macklemore grabs a crayon and paper and begins to draw, prompting the man to raise a clipboard to his chest and rapidly scribble on paper labeled "warning signs of homosexuality" 000
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 15/09/2026saw this in the club bathroom. had no idea Trump was such a fan of the Tokugawa shogunate 130
Reposted by Star LureBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Lots of rude comments but each of these items gives her a different stat boost and some of us care about gameplay 188113481912
Reposted by Star LureDaniel Ahmad @zhugeex.com · 14/09/2026Trump has only declared victory in the Iran war once this month. Concerning. 61444328
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 15/09/2026one of the biggest challenges for Republicans right now is that it is impossible to find Republican staffers under 35 that do not have hundreds of posts and messages that say "I love Hitler and am a Nazi" 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 15/09/2026I'm also gonna commandeer the flight's PA system, give the same "if you're offended by this you're free to jump off the plane!" preface then give 10 minutes of rambling exposition about the gender fluidity representation in Dark Souls 020
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 15/09/2026it's too bad Ed Sheeran did not respond to the execs trying to play hard ball him with the now-iconic: "Don't you know who I am? I'm Ed Sheeran, bitch!" 110
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 11/09/2026on the morning of 9/11 when my class was lined up to enter the classroom a boy pulled his sweatshirt over his head like Cornholio and yelled "I'm the one who bombed the twin towers!" and my teacher turned around with a huge frown on her face and told him that was an inappropriate thing to say 100
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 11/09/2026I still can't believe Mark Wahlberg actually said this 000
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 11/09/2026I still can't believe Mark Wahlberg actually said this 022
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 11/09/2026if I'm killed by political violence I just hope that I am shot in a way that allows me one last tom and jerry "YEEEEEEOWWWCH!!" 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 10/09/2026*maternally strokes your cheek with my enormous razor sharp talons* 000
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 09/09/2026uploading pics from a friends hangout and captioning all the pics of a female infatuation with heckin doggo dialogue like "hey fwens amn't I jus the cutiest thing u ever seen 🥺" 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 09/09/2026it's unfortunate that polymarket is a repulsive dregs of humanity gambling app and not the recruitment equivalent of the NFL draft for polycules 000
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 09/09/2026[waiter] can I grab that for you? *reaches out toward my 80% eaten plate* [me] oh, I'm still working on it, thanks! *smiles and casually brandishes gun* 001
