Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 9hgotta make the nuclear bomb string fuse pretty long so you have time to run away after lighting it 000
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 11/10/2026I never demand strict adherence to the source generally but the Frankenstein novel's tragic narrative is vastly more unique and haunting than the adaptations that flatten it to cliched "Creature bad" or "Creature did nothing wrong (and maybe is hot?)" shallow sludge 020
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 11/10/2026been long enough: the Del Toro Frankenstein is not very good. innocent being abandoned by its terrified but non malicious creator who is so maligned by the world that its resentment drives it to horrific acts it later comes to mourn is more compelling than "babygirl did nothing wrong and is hot af" 130
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 11/10/2026the adult in their picture doesn't even have acne. they couldn't even bother to fake it 000
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 11/10/2026the day my 2 yo niece stops referring to cats as "mao maos" and horses as "neigh neighs" I will blow up a bridge 120
Reposted by Star LureBiollante @bivouacchillin.bsky.social · 10/10/2026Baby monkeys after being introduced to cloth mother: 037065
Reposted by Star LureDan O’Sullivan @osullyville.bsky.social · 11/10/2026Fundraising email Hey, it's me, Vice President JD Vance. I don't think I should be alone tonight, beautiful 3403
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 11/10/2026the associated press is trying to fact check my viral tiktok "Adult acne isn't real and even if it were real there would be no way to treat it" 130
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 10/10/2026imagine thinking Nicholas Cage never played video games. a man who is such a huge nerd he literally named his secondborn son Kal-El 120
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 10/10/2026[God] ugh everyone's going to be so mad at me when they learn how painful childbirth is *Eve eats the forbidden fruit* [God] ohhhh childbirth is going to be so painful now! pushing a human being out of your vagina was gonna feel fine but because you just did that, now it's gonna hurt so bad 010
Reposted by Star LureThe Spookler 🎃 👻 @zaboonanoo.bsky.social · 10/10/2026He is guarding his riches 321922
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 09/10/2026target: ken bone. locked on target. beautiful human submarines—fire your torpedoes 020
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 09/10/2026[English guy at an American Chinese restaurant] what do ya mean you don't ave chips?! ya know, 'French fries'? wut kinda god forsaken place is this?? 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 09/10/2026if the world must have nuclear bombs then the nuclear bombs should have a classic string fuse you light with a match 100
Reposted by Star LureSpookMind: The Cortex of Fear @itsphetz.bsky.social · 09/10/2026ween month grooming pic 6725
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 09/10/2026man the Trump admin sucks at "bread and circuses" superficial appeasement of the masses. the bread is super expensive and gives you diarrhea and the circus is just a guy being shot in the head 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 08/10/2026love the idea of an atom bomb with a classic flammable string wick 160
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 08/10/2026it's a bit confusing but each of the three stooges in the trinity are actually separate manifestations of the same stooge 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 08/10/2026[job interviewer] so why do you want to work for our company? our company fuckin sucks [me] well I need money [job interviewer] pitiful worm. you're hired 030
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 08/10/2026using the koala kare baby changing station in the library restroom to skin a rabbit with my Free Trump Knife 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Majora's Mask asks "what if instead of a beautiful woman, the moon was an ugly man?" and the answer is "everybody dies" 021
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 07/10/2026"why is it so hard to find a good man?" sorry it's because I trapped most of the good men in my Labyrinth of Terror. tho how good can they really be if they can't escape the Labyrinth 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Gen Z is trying to cancel sparrows without regard for the devastating impact on crops their absence would engender. Gen Z's harvest is going to be disastrous due to all of them being fuckers!! 011
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 03/10/2026asking a more popular dying guy if we can have a joint funeral 000
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 02/10/2026replying "bumping this! 🤩 come on gang, let's get this over 500 likes! 💪" to my post announcing my father's death 110
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 01/10/2026a caterpillar almost entirely disintegrates in its chrysalis including most of its brain yet when it emerges as a butterfly it somehow still remembers how to blast cigs 020
Reposted by Star LureSan Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance @sandiegozoo.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Just a lil guy and his mulberry branch 272519680
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 01/10/2026"Pete Hegseth has survived by projecting an image of strength" is generous as a key aspect of Trump 2.0 is obliterating any expectation that any display of incompetence and scandal no matter how serious should EVER result in a loyal cabinet member's removal. it's like a point of pride for them lol 000
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 01/10/2026White House Ballroom FAQ Q: when will the ballroom be finished? A: the ballroom will open in 2028 if the courts do not declare it an illegal ballroom Q: will the ballroom be racist? A: yes, the ballroom will be racist 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 01/10/2026I detect a note of sarcastic derision. do you truly mean to say that the world is NOT a vampire 🤨 020
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 01/10/2026beautiful women say there are 2 types of men they wish to marry: (i) men who think the obviously AI generated sexual 19 yo is real and leave them weird mewling horny replies or (ii) men who also think the obviously AI generated sexual 19 yo is real but leave them weird hateful misogyny replies 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 30/09/2026ooohhh you think you're reviled? cute. I am literally the Orc 0150
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 30/09/2026we have substantially worsened American living standards for generations, but good news is on the way: we are upping our slur game 020
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 30/09/2026they're saying it should be illegal to clock anything as hard as I clocked this admin in March 2025 110
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 30/09/2026"lol shut up virgin " -pontius pilate responding to mary's pleas 000
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 30/09/2026I've always wanted a button in my car for apologizing to the driver behind me in case I accidentally do something rude but cutting someone off then flashing "Sorry! That was my bad 😥" would absolutely make road rage guys shoot me in the head 031
Reposted by Star Lurephil @philjamesson.com · 30/09/2026as always when this is posted, i have to fondly remember the time someone stole this tweet word for word, including using my name as the punchline, then claimed it was just independent discovery 385647671
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 28/09/2026moth town will say it wants to boost its economy and then it makes it impossible for entrepreneurs to do business there 030
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 27/09/2026"shriek loudly and hit people with a big stick" - Teddy Roosevelt if he was a horrid little goblin 010
Star Lure @starlarbu.bsky.social · 27/09/2026what is it about the UK that it seems to produce and elevate so many of these weird tut tut busybody perverts? maybe there's a gas leak 040
