Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 02/10/2026I won’t be satisfied until they are standing on hot coals. 4633
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 30/09/2026He looks like he only took a little peek at the arc of the covenant. 6743
Reposted by Soren BowiePatrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 30/09/2026Alt text: Cartoon cat outsmarted by bird and accidentally trying to swallow wire coat hanger 722418
Reposted by Soren BowieAmy @lolennui.bsky.social · 07/07/2026I still think the hottest beatle was Gregor 318114
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Having a mustache is cool except every time you lick your lips and end up with a hair in your throat as thick as a fishbone. 3240
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I don’t mean to hurt any feelings or start a fight but the bud of a rose should be called a rising. 2241
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 19/09/2026“Of course we can Snoopy. I’d love to, old friend” I manage before nodding to the vet to proceed with the injection. 2382
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 17/09/2026Most of my jokes are at my own expense which, humiliatingly, is still punching down. 222123
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 17/09/2026I have a dream of a bag of jerky that feels even half-way full. 2353
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 17/09/2026Jesus is my writing partner. He felt teaming up would make it easier to get staffed on a show. 1511
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 16/09/2026“Boy, everyone here really loves Phish.” -Trey Anastasio his first night in prison 0200
Reposted by Soren BowieJulian Sanchez @normative.bsky.social · 14/09/2026If, as seems to be the majority view here, you dislike the prospect of a world where human journalism and analysis is displaced by AI slop, have the self-awareness not to act annoyed and offended that the human labor of writing sometimes requires compensation. 465078
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 13/09/2026I for one believe the Cardinals might do okay against a real NFL team. 190
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 12/09/2026I noticed my son hiding something in his room and went to find it the moment he wasn’t around. I discovered these carefully bent wires under his mattress. Google wasn’t helpful. Please, what pipe or drug requires tools like these? 3602
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 11/09/2026“I can’t believe you sheep are still getting the jab. You have no idea what they’re putting in there!” I laugh knowingly while preparing my peptide stack. 0442
Reposted by Soren BowieKofie @kofie.bsky.social · 10/09/2026Cam Skattebo seems like the wrong State Farm ambassador… brother do YOU have insurance? 1045345
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 08/09/2026People who read a joke and say, “I thought the exact same thing!” generally mean “I also vaguely understood that a joke could possibly be made about that thing and I would like some credit for that.” 4423
Reposted by Soren BowieSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 07/09/2026I grow pensive during NPR pledge drives, recalling all the many, many lovers I’ve had 812039
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 04/09/2026I’m a man who stands by his convictions but also my favorite flavor of Hi-Chew is whichever one I ate last. 2230
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 03/09/2026Man, you all gotta get back on Facebook. You’re missing the juice. 1444
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Sometimes when I think about posting a joke while driving I have to take a second and really decide if it’s funny enough to risk a car accident. So far the answer has always been yes. 1411
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Humiliating: Leftist Continue Voting For Interest of Fellow Man 0717
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 01/09/2026A movie that explores whether Ms.Trunchbull was actually right for throwing that girl by her hair. 27410
Reposted by Soren BowieBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 28/08/2026People have brought up this role in replies to me as being legitimately scary so he must have done a great job but for some reason Tim Curry saying he’s seen every episode of Criminal Minds at least twice is very funny and relatable 2084753
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 26/08/2026If you get, conservatively, 2 political texts a day asking for donations and you reply STOP to each, then ACCORDING TO THE LAW, you’ve had about 1,460 different political organizations reach out to you over the past two years. 0230
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 26/08/2026You’d be surprised how often thoughtful, kind gestures overlap with egomaniacal image curation. 2390
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Bronzing my daughter’s baby shoes, pausing for a moment, then climbing entirely into the molten bronze. 0461
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 24/08/2026Quick question for sober people: how do you loosen up before stressful obligations? Like driving someone else’s kids to Skyzone? 8431
Reposted by Soren Bowiemindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Figured out my neighbor's harmonic resonance frequency and played my tuba at the precise tone required to transmute his atomic structure into that of a porpoise. Now he's flopping about on the floor making annoying porpoise noises and I am admittedly experiencing some remorse 620839
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 19/08/2026I genuinely love this sketch from Butt. Do we still share sketches around here? m.youtube.com/watch?v=PPDd...m.youtube.comJudgement BuddyYouTube video by Butt 2231
Reposted by Soren BowieTobias Wilson-Bates @phdhurtbrain.bsky.social · 18/08/2026When you read a book only a fraction of what you get from the experience is the information in the book. The vast majority of what comes from reading is a new experience of yourself that comes to exist in relation to the book’s unique patterns. 728845
Reposted by Soren BowieStone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 14/08/2026They installed Flock cameras on my Animal Crossing island overnight 48912
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 14/08/2026I’m apologize to my fans but sadly I won’t fulfill my dream of playing in the NFL this year. I sat out of camp with muscle soreness for two days and gained twenty pounds-six pounds. 1341
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 13/08/2026Clipping a baby’s fingernails while they sleep is the closest I’ll ever get to diffusing a bomb. 41137
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 13/08/2026Never rest on your laurels or one day you might find you cannot hold them up and display them for the world to see. As the saying goes, To Thine Own Shelf Be Glue. 1213
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 12/08/2026It would be fun to be able to say your favorite teams are the Mets, Jets and Nets. It would be fun if that was even remotely believable. 10653
Reposted by Soren Bowiesweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 13/05/2026hoa sent me a warning letter regarding the size of my crow army 59845169
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 10/08/2026Siri, why isn’t Zohran Mamdani using all his power to punish his citizens? 0362
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 08/08/2026Buying a fountain is a beautiful way to ensure you always have a fountain to fix. 1463
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 06/08/2026An honest-to-god segue a human wrote and Liev Schreiber agreed to record on this season of Hard Knocks: “A little pee isn’t a deal breaker. Just clean it up and keep going. A lot like training camp itself.” 2280
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 05/08/2026My wife briefly confused Lisa Frank with Anne Frank and let me tell you, I’m planning to ride this mistake into 2027. 970738
Reposted by Soren BowieSean Thomason @seanthomason.bsky.social · 21/04/2026Gotta be very careful how you phrase things so you don't get scrutinized and torn apart here on bluesky, the website nobody in the real world has ever heard of. 222218
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 01/08/2026I think we should let caterpillars and butterflies just be two different animals. It’s absurd that we’re still cramming them into one lane. 1483
Reposted by Soren BowieNY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 31/07/2026Safety experts say the glass in some Pillsbury bread rolls is dangerous. A guy who snorts cocaine off toilet seats and brings raccoon penises home for "further study" says it will strengthen your immune system and stop you from getting autism. For busy shoppers, it can be hard to know who to trust. 1260285
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 31/07/2026Look, I love the John Wick movies as much as the next guy but there’s simply no way his arms go that high in a blazer. 2794
Soren Bowie @sorenbowie.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Sadly, four of Jimothy’s previous girlfriends came forward today about troubling domestic behavior and a Mussolini tattoo on his belly. 58615
