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Cream Machine 2

@samelaanderson.bsky.social
52 followers 17 following 45 posts

Big skeleton little dog

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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I’m not a vegetarian, I’m an omnivore with qualms
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
There are two ages: young enough to trick-or-treat or old enough to drink.
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Boss Baby should have been called Micromanager.
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Consensual wife
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Natty Moher @nattymoher.com · 03/08/2026
Mitch McConnell is just recovering from a BBL surgery.
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
You should be allowed to call your therapist’s therapist.
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Natty Moher @nattymoher.com · 04/07/2026
Happy Birthday to the greatest nation on Earth, my wife, @samelaanderson.bsky.social!
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
My husband believes women can be pilots but they can’t be ghosts. What an idiot.
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Rich people should have to open their mansions to the public once per year
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Knock on Travis Kelce’s penis
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Uncommon fancy truthteller bug
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Corn smut
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
Magdalena Hagdalena is a diss track taught to children
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
How dare you have a coexist bumper sticker but refuse to let me zipper merge
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
Happy Tharth Warth Day to thothe who thelebrate
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
BC Ferries would make so much money, off me specifically, if they installed coin-operated windshield wipers on passenger deck windows.
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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
You can’t call insurance CEO’s “murderers”, okay? They don’t murder people. Instead they merely prop up and administer a complex rube Goldberg structure that grinds living human beings into a fine slurry. They do this for financial profit. That’s not murder. That’s not murder.
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
Look, it's simple. We just want the worst person in the world to die
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Welcome to the worm factory
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
Is food getting spicier or am I getting weaker
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Game Wolf Advance (2001) @ator.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
teaaaa
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 25/09/2024
BARKITECHTS
Two dogs wearing helmet and tool belt on a blueprint
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
“Pilates” is Latin for torture
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 09/03/2026
People born before March lost that hour forever
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
“Snitches get stitches” assumes snitches have healthcare
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
Really good stuff
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
I’m not a hoarder I’m an archivist
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Becky Hammer @beckyhammer.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
Iconic moment as he says "God Bless América" and then names every country in South, Central, and North america in order For the rest of the hemisphere, América doesn't mean the U.S. It means evveeerrybody
Benito carrying a football with musicians carrying flags behind him
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Andrea Woo @andreawoo.bsky.social · 29/01/2026
Was in our system looking at images of tonight's public meeting in Hanover County, Va, re: proposed warehouse sale and came across these pix from Dec, when a raccoon (allegedly) broke into a liquor store there and downed rum, moonshine and peanut butter whiskey before passing out next to the toilet
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Prem Thakker ツ @premthakker.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
An insane, perfect encapsulation of it all: The same day Trump’s agents kill a Veterans Affairs ICU nurse in broad daylight, the CEOs of Apple and Amazon join Trump to watch a private screening of a film about his wife directed by an alleged sexual abuser who was seen shirtless in the Epstein Files
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Mia Sato @miasato.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
I'm not going to post screenshots for obvious reasons but I have been alerted that a bunch of the top posts in r/MassiveCock are anti-ICE now and anyone who defends ICE in comments is getting yelled down lol
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
Trump did 9/11
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
Can’t stop won’t stop cyberbullying my dog
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
Died of fog overwhelmption
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Jessica Albatross
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 04/01/2026
It’s legal to steal as long as you say yoink
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
6.1 horsepower
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 14/12/2025
Obviously it’s fine to say “rest in power” but please don’t say it for me. I am too charged up in life and I do not want to be electric when I’m dead too.
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
Butter should come in glue stick form
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 23/10/2025
aesop’s foibles
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 23/10/2025
explaining to my dog that he’s a nepo baby
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 13/10/2025
“The skin is the best part” ok freaks
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Edward Elderman @elderman.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
This only happens to you once
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
Oregon donor
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
Offset just released a song about Cardi B and like??????????? Men don’t listen.
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 05/09/2025
Normalize bibs for adults. Messy babies aren’t the only messy babies!
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 02/08/2025
It’s a classic camping cuckhold controversy
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Christopher Sebela @xtop.bsky.social · 25/07/2025
i love little free libraries and i have a special place in my heart for the ones that have nothing to do with books. this might be my favorite of all of those.
a little free library with lettering that reads CROW TRINKETS across the frontthe interior of the little free library full of tiny little objects like buttons and shiny baubles
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 23/07/2025
Rude Spice the Man
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Cream Machine 2 @samelaanderson.bsky.social · 03/06/2025
When a dude gets a vasectomy we should also tip his ear. Like a stray cat.
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