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@sagepeonies.bsky.social
252 followers 15 following 2.7K posts
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David Gerard @davidgerard.circumstances.run.ap.brid.gy · 04/10/2026
henstomper

oh my god the slot machine company says i have to keep putting coins in their machine or Im Gonna Get Left Behind. thats so scary. and it has to be true because they know more about slot machines than i do

oh my god the slot machine company says if we dont give them money to build the world's biggest slot machine the chinese are gonna build it first and win all the prizes. and then there wont be any prizes anymore
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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Fahrenheit ultimately won because you naturally read "80°F" as '80 degrees? Fuck!'
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I’m too caffeinated today I’m starting drama with EVERYONE
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
someone told me I looked like Nicole Kidman today I’m dying I’m melted I’m in shock
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
just cried to my boss while telling him how I appreciate something he’s done for me for years 🤪
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
why is flirting with everyone so fun 😭
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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Too many harrowing maritime adventures is why I'm like this.
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
someone sent me a message the other day about going home to someone taking care of me and I've been in full on tears about it since. I am so tired of choosing hyperindependent toxic bs for myself but also don't trust people !
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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Thought I was dying but just needed to put on socks
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Dak @dak.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Ordering dinner via QR code feels less like going out for hospitality and more like submitting an IT helpdesk ticket for a bowl of pasta.
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I love my medical team so so so so so much 😭
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
🗣️ I need all the clothes I like to stop being $1100+!!!!
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
is literally every single piece of clothing made this year solely polyester? I’m so annoyed at finding something cute and then seeing different plastics and no natural fibers
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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I'm like a four-dimensional Russian nesting doll of escapism today
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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
So humbling that as hard as you try you can never impress a bird
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kitty @kittyred.net · 27/09/2026
This shit said “scan the QR code for baking instructions” what if I killed you
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Anuj Ahooja @quillmatiq.com · 26/09/2026
I'll be bringing an ice cream sandwich to my interview, and if you're a nice interviewer I'll let you have a bite
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
a cute woman who braids my hair for me and I don’t have to keep up my toxic hyperindependent streak around 🙏
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
the world hated her because she spoke the truth, pt. 2
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
the world hated her because she spoke the truth
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
no because what does this mean
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
just found out sharp top is considered a hard hike???
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
and if my next project is learning how to play motownphilly on the banjo? 👀
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Emi ☁️ @itsjustemi.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
All I did was blink. Suddenly I’m 30 and enthusiastic about the tomatoes I picked up yesterday 🫡
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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Splurging on another day of survival
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Am I going to be asleep by 8:30? 👀👀
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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
The beach that ages you is just any beach
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Daniel 🦋🧡 @dannyfromparamore.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I miss wearing fly shit man, fuck this economy.
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I finally found the name of the guy from seventh grade who everyone said didn’t have a belly button because it was actually a surgical scar and he’s now a father!
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
mmmmmmm I should be legally allowed to go fistfight my neighbor for yelling at his wife to shut the fuck up
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gilafied 🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️ @gilafied.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I love every single person who has ever put up a "how to fix this thing you own" video on youtube. You have saved us with car repairs, saved us from buying a new phone and now from buying a new tv. Generousity and kindness can be found, galore.
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
my phone number is supposed to change tonight and now I need to postpone it ahhhhhh I’m so annoyed
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Sam Caster 🎃 @samcaster.tv · 19/09/2026
Getting in a fistfight at the Waffle House of the mind
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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Inhabiting the Waffle House of the mind
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bemmy from the black lagoon @skeeterpond.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
rice cooker still the undefeated champ of kitchen gadgetry, in my very sexy opinion
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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Why upload your brain to a computer when AI is just me from 20 years ago
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
there’s been a guy sitting in my ig follow requests for probably five or six years now because I knew i knew his name and face but couldn’t remember how and didn’t want to accept him unless i remembered. I just realized - he was my eleventh grade youth pastor for like maybe five months???
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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I'm not gonna lie I would love to live deliciously
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
this was so deeply funny and it breaks my heart that only like 16000 people on this planet would laugh at it
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Braden Serkas 🎃 @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Whenever you feel a sense of deja vu it’s because there is a toggle switch in a secret bunker underneath the Hoover Dam that sends all of the energy from the american power grid back into the wind farms to reverse the rotation of the earth, and the guys that work down there like to have a little fun
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Feral Maui Hermit @mauigreg.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Before COVID, the grab-and-go deli sandwiches at my local market cost $4.99 each. From 2020 to 2025, they stayed around $7.99-$8.99. Now they are $12.99-$14.99. It's all airport pricing now. It's "They're trapped here. They'll pay whatever we want," except for the entire country.
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Jeanine 💙 @madammaleficent.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
If your business requires me to create an account, verify my email, accept seventeen cookies, download an app, and solve a captcha just to buy one thing, I no longer want the thing.
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
best group chat
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jess @sunw0es.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
real asf
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
SOS I’m in love with Reid after he smiled when he said unboxing pokemon cards was irl tcg pocket
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🪩🫧 @sagepeonies.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I still have reminders I haven’t dismissed that I had calls scheduled with my father that I ignored the week he died and uhhhh I guess it’s been over a decade and I just want to feel like a bad person but it feels worse to try to get rid of those reminders
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