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Chopped Unc

@rhpt.omg.lol
32 followers 61 following 210 posts

I am a goddamn delight

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Reposted by Chopped Unc
zach @extrafabulous.bsky.social · 11h
MAN. I'M GLAD I WASN'T AN IPAD KID

-(FLASHBACK) THE 90'S-

MOMMA CAN I HAVE SODIE POP

HERE. GO OUTSIDE AND I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU UNTIL EITHER 10P.M. OR THEY DROP AN AMBER ALERT.

Kid sits in the darkness with sodie pop illuminated by the orange streetlight
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
@hudlion

sometimes, I think it would be worse to be an insect and wake up one morning and find you had been transformed into a guy with a job
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 30/09/2026
This man must be stopped
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 30/09/2026
It is the Year of our Lord 2026 and my mother just learned that Instagram, WhatApp, and Facebook are owned by the same person. She did not understand why she was seeing FB Marketplace posts on IG from the people she follows
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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
i'm not mad at all about how 99% of the time gas prices are determined by causes outside of the President's control but then The People Who Think The President Controls Gas Prices elected the first president who actually specifically caused gas prices to go up a lot
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Patrick Wyman @patrickwyman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I've spent a lot of years studying a lot of collapses, and the truth of the matter is that they're always mundane: mild climatic shifts that reduce crop yields, a dumbass in power who makes some terrible decisions, neglecting things that obviously matter but the will to fix them can't be summoned.
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 07/09/2026
I thought this was AI. I had to search to confirm it was real.
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 06/09/2026
@fontme.bsky.social Love your Skyscraper themes!
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Cameron Banga @cameronbanga.com · 05/09/2026
Themes in @getskyscraper.com are easily the best feature I’ve built. Thanks to all of the users who have submitted themes, they are amazing. Thank you @kassiaware.bsky.social, @fontme.bsky.social, @t55.bsky.social, @jhaley.com @breznsoiza.eurosky.social, and @rhpt.omg.lol. And anyone I missed! A++
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Guardian US @us.theguardian.com · 05/09/2026
Has your cat been gaining weight and staying out at night, only to arrive home reeking of marijuana? These are just some of the signs that a neighbour is trying to entice them away ...
theguardian.com
The unsettling rise of cat seducers: ‘My little companion was missing – and I was consumed with anger’
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 28/08/2026
This comic is relevant today and today only qwantz.com/index.php?comic=136 @ryannorth.ca
qwantz.com
Dinosaur Comics!
this last panel would also make a good email signature line
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 21/08/2026
@mgsiegler.com Congrats!
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
@ChumHumCEO

I used to work at a used record store and one time a guy came in to sell a shit load of Morrissey and Smiths CDs (which we happily bought) and after he left I turned to my boss and went ??? and he was like "Oh yeah, he broke up with Morrissey, happens all the time."
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Disney Prime Video + ᵖᵃʳᵒᵈʸ @disneyprimevideo.bsky.social · 13/09/2024
Greta Gerwig's Little Women (2019) 🔈🎵
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 10/08/2026
Me
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darth™️ @darthbluesky.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
maggie cheung and tony leung chiu wai in the mood for love
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Cameron Banga @cameronbanga.com · 02/08/2026
If you're looking for a native iPad client for Bluesky, checkout Skyscraper for iPad! apps.apple.com/us/app/skyscraper-fo…
apps.apple.com
Skyscraper for Bluesky
Skyscraper is the Bluesky client that feels like it belongs on your device. Scroll your timeline on your schedule, with scroll position saved across sessions and cloud-synced across your devices. Built from the ground up for iOS and iPadOS, Skyscraper is your penthouse view of the Bluesky network. Smooth, fast, and thoughtfully designed to match the way you want an app to feel. The Features You Need: • iCloud sync support keeps your Following feed position in sync across sessions and devices • Full timeline with pinned feeds and custom algorithms • Post with images, videos, GIFs, and alt text • Direct messages and notifications with optional push alerts • Search posts, users, and hashtags • Moderation controls that put you in charge • Profile editing and saved posts Power features that set Skyscraper apart: • Multiple Accounts — Switch between accounts instantly • Post Drafts — Save ideas for later • Account Backup — Export and archive your data • Thread Archival - Share popular threads with friends off Bluesky • Safari Extension — Open bsky.social links directly in Skyscraper • Trending Hashtags — See what's buzzing right now • Unified Timeline — See replies in your following feed • Mute Reposts — Silence repost-happy users without unfollowing • Custom Theme Colors — Make the app fit your personality • Post Translation — Read posts in any language Download Skyscraper and get a better view of the Bluesky. EULA - https://www.apple.com/legal/internet-services/itunes/dev/stdeula/
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 28/07/2026
@cameronbanga.com I recently discovered Skyscraper. I love it. I've been searching for an iOS Bluesky client for ages. I'm curious if you've considered creating a Mac version. I know the iPad version can run on macOS, but I would be thrilled if there were a native Mac app available.
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Ken Jennings @kenjennings.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
Lashing myself to my theater seat during the third hour of The Odyssey to resist the siren song of the urinal.
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Jack Grimes @jackapedia.design · 16/07/2026
Furious that Chris Nolan would disregard historical accuracy in adapting The Odyssey by making a "movie" with "cameras" instead of memorizing the entire story and then going on a nationwide tour to sing it to us while tripping on ergotized barley
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the beggars out of here getter @milesklee.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
RIP to the incomparable Sam Neill
How long has it been since you've seen the original "Jurassic Park"?

SAM NEILL The last time I watched it in its totality was sitting beside Princess Di at Leicester Square at the London opening.
On the other side of me was my son Tim - he was 11 and completely swept away by it, but about the time the T-Rex turns up, Tim started to fart. And the draft was drifting across me to royalty! I spent the whole film in a muck sweat, thinking, "Princess Di is being exposed to the horrors of a little boy's fart, but she's going to think it's me. I am going to be subliminally blamed for my son's crimes, and I don't think she'll talk to me afterwards." But she was well brought up and never mentioned it.
JEFF GOLDBLUM I love that story, Sam.
I've heard him tell that a couple of times, and it's just amazing the lengths that he will go to still blame the boy.
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 10/07/2026
Reminds me of this scene from Clerks
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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
calling to do corruption on behalf of somebody they don't believe should be a citizen of the United States
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 30/06/2026
@chickenpuppet.online Can I recommend my favorite 'Remember Some Guys' for @remembersomeguys.bsky.social ? www.baseball-reference.com/players/b/bush…
baseball-reference.com
Randy Bush Stats, Height, Weight, Position, Rookie Status & More | Baseball-Reference.com
Check out the latest Stats, Height, Weight, Position, Rookie Status & More of Randy Bush. Get info about his position, age, height, weight, draft status, bats, throws, school and more on Baseball-reference.com
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 25/06/2026
50: the age when you realize more of life is behind you than ahead
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Tom Francis @pentadact.com · 24/06/2026
Git still hiring poets to write error messages.
A git error message reading "fatal: you are on a branch yet to be born"
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 22/06/2026
"Dust collectors and doodads forming the dam that holds strong against despair"
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 12/06/2026
Does @ryannorth.ca try to sneak in dinosaurs into all the comics he writes?
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 09/06/2026
TIL: the term "masochism" is named after Leopold Ritter von Sacher-Masoch, who had a fondness for experiencing pain and humiliation
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Kail @vivotranquil0.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Just when you thought you'd seen it all
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 26/05/2026
Me at the gym
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 14/05/2026
Probably explains his recent hitting slump
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 14/04/2026
This is how I discovered Live and Smashing Pumpkins
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Kashana @kashana.blacksky.app · 07/04/2026
Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 06/04/2026
Can't wait for the Cocaine Shark movie
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
Tweet from David Stokes (@scottywrotem):

Stuck this to the window and now the world makes more sense.
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 02/04/2026
Astronauts in space: They're just like us
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fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
It bothers me that many people probably don't rotate their cupboard dinner plate stack when replacing clean ones. Which means up and down the country there may be thousands of stack-bottom plates going unused for years
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 27/03/2026
It me
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 21/03/2026
"[W]hen Skattebo was just six years old, he used to strap on his older brother’s shoulder pads and run-full speed-into telephone poles. That’s not a metaphor. He did this as a form of self-imposed training, trying to simulate real contact before he was even old enough to play organized football"
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 17/03/2026
@signalwatch.bsky.social
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Damion Schubert @zenofdesign.com · 14/03/2026
My marriage is open except for the part where my wife said she’d divorce me and then murder me if i was with another woman. Other than that, wide open.
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Crowsa Luxemburg @quendergeer.bsky.social · 14/03/2026
i actually think it's lowkey problematic to joke about stabbing caesar bc for some low income senators becoming tyrant is literally the only route out of poverty
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#VeenTeam Day 1 @rockiesvsconnor.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
I think there is something to explore that many nations at the WBC have come showing what they love about their country (dancing, celebration, tradition) to represent the people while the American team has shown up representing and only celebrating the military
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Matt Ufford @mattufford.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
back in MY day OUR illegal Middle East war had FOUR WEEKS of in-country assault planned out before Republican leadership expected democracy to magically happen
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 20/02/2026
@signalwatch.bsky.social Is this all the reasons why you married McSteans?
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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
if your sport is on regular ground: please. let our sport into the Summer Olympics. it is played across the world by millions. it is beloved by the youth. please. please. The Olympics: no if your sport is on snow: we think we invented an 11th way to ski? The Olympics: YOU'RE IN YOU CRAZY BASTARD
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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 18/02/2026
DOG AT THE OLYMPICS FULL COMPETITION HIGHLIGHTS
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 15/02/2026
This is @jimdedman.bsky.social's secret to his success
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Chopped Unc @rhpt.omg.lol · 13/02/2026
😳
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