“First, accept how fun reading isn’t. Words do not blast stim at the rate we enjoy today. Words are old, older than TikTok. Back then, a human would read, ‘F...

“While Charlie Brown did once again accelerate toward the ball, miss the ball entirely as Lucy pulled it away, flip backward through the air, and land violen...

“For as long as humans have created SHIT with our BODIES AND BUTTS, we have been asking this FUNDAMENTAL QUESTION: What if there was a COMPUTER that could AL...

Alt: Liz Lemon Begging Please

“In Woke 7, we come to understand that waiting for someone to do something bad before forgiving them is the mistake of Wokes 1 through 6, frankly. In Woke 7,...

that's it, that's the thesis

YouTube video by Jonathan Freeman

The Jewish Case for Abortion Justice

“You’re not better than her just because you’re alive, you know. Death comes for us all.”

“Friends, neighbors, it’s good to see all of you. I know you, you know me, and just seeing all of your faces at this city council meeting reminds me why I l...

“They enjoy displaying their skill even if little is actually accomplished and it takes longer than necessary.”

or: why should CHICAGO POPE have all the fun

“I would never speak ill of the dead, especially a man I considered a friend. My fondest memory of the senator is how he always had a twinkle in his eye when...

“You can’t hustle alone. Move to a city where founders thrive and get to work. Head to Miami if you want to scam people with crypto, or San Francisco if you ...

"I give up on metaphor and simile."

“Xavier owns an apartment that he rents out at a loss of $1 billion/month. Seeing this success, he decides to make financial commitments to construct $850 bi...

“In many ways, he’s like a magician pulling infinite bunnies out of a hat, except the bunnies are tax fraud. We can’t think of a precedent in modern history....

“It’s been fun these past ten years. We had a blast inserting ourselves in your celebration. But the time has come for us to live our truths. And now we love...

PRETEND: “We want queer joy! Write freely!” ACTUAL: “But make sure there’s a straight best friend to guide the reader through the scary parts. If anyone has ...

“Researchers discovered that the past could not be altered. If you went back in time to prevent the Hindenburg disaster, whatever you did would only ensure t...