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ran⚡

@randall.gobirds.online
1.7K followers 395 following 24K posts

Your flat land, pan-shaped tornado den friend. Opinions are always my own.

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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 40m
Enjoy this pigey from yesterday
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 51m
BRYCE HARPER YOU RAW MILK DRINKING BUFFOON
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 58m
Now is a good time to remind everyone that Tulsa is still not a state
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Tweet from phil (@PhilJamesson):

Officer: do you know why I pulled you over
Me: no sir
My Parrot: hell yea I love driving 86 mph without a seatbelt! my name is phil jamesson
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jon christian @jonchristian.net · 3h
NEW: People who chug their own piss have emerged as MAJOR supporters of AI futurism.com/artificial-i...
futurism.com
People Who Drink Their Own Pee Are Obsessed With AI, Using It to Reassure Themselves That It's a Miraculous Cure-All
Urine therapy devotees are sharing ways to break past AI guardrails in order to brainstorm ways to use pee as medicine.
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 1h
"buy my book"
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Nekrởtzar @nekrotzar.bsky.social · 3h
I feel like this must have been done but I haven’t seen it.
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Riker Googling @rikergoogling.bsky.social · 6h
what do klingons put on pizza
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Jason Kirk @jasonkirk.fyi · 6h
The two Republicans who helped write the college sports bill were the Atlanta Hawkeyes man and the Basketball Ring man booed by his constituents on College GameDay because his presence is Texas' most notorious sports curse. We're in great hands
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NBC News @nbcnews.com · 6h
BREAKING: A pilot on a diverted Israel-bound flight stabbed his fellow pilot in an apparent attempt to crash the plane, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu says.
nbcnews.to
Flight from Dubai to Tel Aviv diverted after emergency alert sparks alarm
Israeli media reported the incident was apparently related to a dispute between pilots onboard.
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Ian Coldwater 🧊🚫 @lookitup.baby · 17h
BREAKING NEWS: “Do geese see God” is a palindrome
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ElieNYC @elienyc.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
As a Michigan fan, I guess I can empathize with Eric Schmitt. The Iowa Hawkeyes are exposing a lot of people as gigantic frauds these days.
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 7h
Betsy Kenney is awesome.
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Christopher Webb @cwebbonline.com · 19h
This is priceless. Check out how local news is reporting on Sen Eric Schmidt’s clown-show grilling of Jack Smith. They found Jack Smith at the game… “Top corner, section 109, row 1. In fact, that seat doesn’t even exist in Atlanta.”
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 17h
Woooo
KOCO Chief Meteorologist Damon Lane on front of a blue slide that says that storm chances are increasing for OKC
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MMOC @solarfish.bsky.social · 23h
We have a winner -or- I had to see it, so do you. It could only be worse if it was for an off brand energy drink company.
A cybertruck with a Carolina squat advertising for credit repair.
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Kevin Smith @kevsmith61081.bsky.social · 21h
First game in and the Panthers are already getting away with murder. Jesus Christ that’s a horrible display of officiating
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 22h
Anthropic's IPO filing apparently warns investors that advanced AI could pose “catastrophic or existential risks to humanity,” which is a great sales approach and also, coincidentally, the exact phrase I was told when I brought home this guy.
Sandal, a large fluffy orange-and-white cat, sits upright on a curved cardboard scratcher, staring directly at the camera with a serious expression.
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Erin Reed @erininthemorning.com · 23h
Riley Gaines, famous for turning her 5th place tie with transgender swimmer Lia Thomas into a far-right career agianst transgender people, has officially had her lawsuit against the NCAA thrown out by a judge today. The judge found no evidence for her claims. Subscribe to support our journalism.
erininthemorning.com
Riley Gaines' Title IX Lawsuit Against The NCAA Struck Down After Judge Finds "No Evidence" Of Funding Claims
Gaines’ attorneys argued her civil rights were violated because she competed against a transgender athlete.
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Sarah Spain ✨ @sarahspain.com · 22h
this dumb motherfucker
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 22h
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Monica @jolemamels.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
“YOU CAN’T BLAME—“ THE F*CK I CAN
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 29/09/2026
damn
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Velodus✨ @velodus.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Liberty Biberty is the Pat McAfee of insurance mascots
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 29/09/2026
Buccers
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Lemon twist @wattnaught.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
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✧𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧ @altaudge.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
fish are friends
Stop using anti-fish language
Instead of: this seems fishy
Try saying:
this seems like a situation in which we should consult the wisdom and grace of the European seabass, a species with which i would entrust my entire life and personal safety
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Brian Fletcher @brianfletcher.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 29/09/2026
Only one was missing from this set
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The Onion @theonion.com · 29/09/2026
Heart-Wrenching Movie Scene Immediately Cuts To Liberty Biberty
Heart-Wrenching Movie Scene Immediately Cuts To Liberty Biberty
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Dustin Tanner @dustintanner.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Brad, Roush Race cars are a ford family. Happy families. Maybe single people like Dodge's, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without.
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hester @thehestercution.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
If this gives JHN a golden parachute I will simply walk into the ocean
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Papa Joe Hendry @tufftitty.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
You have to respect Keselowski. Giving up his seat and team ownership to go after a racing crown jewel outside of stock cars. I don't blame him, you gotta go for it while you're still young enough to compete.
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 29/09/2026
Fenway too woke
He will also likely give up his ownership stake. The moves come on the heels of disagreements between Keselowski and the Fenway Sports Group over the direction of the team, according to sources briefed on the matter who were granted anonymity to discuss the sensitive situation.
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phiI @philclark.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I'm sure Brad Keselowski will be a glue guy for a different team
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 29/09/2026
Roush Fenway Kennedy Racing
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jurbotunker @jurbotunker.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
oh shit he was wrong again I'm completely shocked
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J. Emory Parker 🏳️‍🌈 @jaspar.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Meta muse saying why would I deceive you?
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RedDirtSport @reddirtsport.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 29/09/2026
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 29/09/2026
...
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
That two play sequence from the Eagles to score as it happened
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Ryan Nanni @celebrityhottub.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
(whispering) clock management the cowboys could have used
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 29/09/2026
TUSH PUSH BABYYYYY
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 29/09/2026
ERTZ
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Sarah McLaughlin @sarahemclaugh.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
you were wronged, king, we will avenge you
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 29/09/2026
I just had a feeling that the birds might be cooked when it was announced that Dalton would be QB2
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ran⚡ @randall.gobirds.online · 29/09/2026
FUCK
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