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Call Me The Brie-ze

@briesmith.xyz
4.2K followers 1K following 99K posts

The Internet's foremost Rory Gilmore hater. Still the Ray Kroc Professor of Cheeseburger Sciences, Hamburger University. Kentucky Colonel. She/her. #bbn Shirts and more! www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout Signal:@quietude38.04

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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 55m
I always go back to one scene from Moneyball. “It’s incredibly hard.” “Anything worth doing is.”
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 1h
I’m soliciting questions now to answer later, so fire away ngl.link/quietude381
ngl.link
Anonymous messages!
Anonymous messages!
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 2h
The surprise to me is how tortured the definition of “star” has become looking at this list of has-beens and never-weres
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 2h
Here’s the thing: there are so many names I could have put on this list and opted against: Willie Nelson Lennon/McCartney Carl Perkins Lionel Richie Smokey Robinson Hetfield/Ulrich Bernie Taupin/Elton John Billy Joel Joni Mitchell
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victoria zeller🫛 (RISEBALL, summer ‘27) @dirtbagqueer.rocks · 4h
we've got our first buffalo t-girl baseball practice on sunday (info below! if you're a doll, DM "buffalotgirlbaseball" on IG and come thru!) and i'm going in completely cold. haven't thrown a baseball or swung a bat in a decade. haven't been in shape since i was like 20. i might die out there
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 3h
Approximately 97 percent of our problems as a society would be resolved if our leaders and most powerful private citizens had this mindset
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 3h
If you see this, post a vampire that isn’t Dracula
Count Duckula
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Summer of Blanx @senorblanxo.bsky.social · 5h
Rare to see someone finish 5th in a lawsuit, but here we are.
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victoria zeller🫛 (RISEBALL, summer ‘27) @dirtbagqueer.rocks · 4h
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 5h
Every day I become more convinced that being part of a C-suite is functionally equivalent to having a traumatic brain injury
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-𝚖𝚘𝚡 @moxiest.art · 5h
moxiest.art idk, support a voluntary profit artist or don't. you're probably just as fucked as we are
moxiest.art
Contact | artbymox
Contact artbymox customer support for order assistance, product inquiries & store support. Email response guaranteed. Direct support channel for all merch-related questions.
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 6h
Red Wings fan @dotdotexe.bsky.social: This team is pure misery, but was the greatest franchise in sports history mostly before I was born
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 6h
The golf skirt is such an amazing invention, I kind of hate that it took me until my 40s to discover it
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 17h
Met a former colleague for tacos tonight and it was so fucking LOVELY to just sit at the bar and gab as a couple ladies for a while
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 17h
And now you understand why people have been buying bootleg “research” versions of it from China for the last year
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Katra Ariello, Golden Apple Audio 🏳️‍⚧️ @katrafiy.bsky.social · 21h
Hey everyone, I'm really in a bind. I was just told earlier today that my job will be terminating me on October 13th, exactly one day before my upcoming requested paid medical leave to recover from bottom surgery. I intend to fight this in court, but I could really use some help in the meantime.
gofund.me
Donate to Support Katra Through Bottom Surgery Recovery, organized by Katra Ariello
Hi, my name is Katra, and I’ve just been notified that I’ll be let go of… Katra Ariello needs your support for Support Katra Through Bottom Surgery Recovery
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 22h
Shout out to the NBC audio team for how they have the field audio miced and mixed today, every crack of the bat sounds like an absolute gunshot
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 23h
SiriusXM is giving me the Braves radio call and it’s messing with me that it’s not Skip Caray and Pete Van Wieren Yes I know they’re dead
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 23h
I genuinely don’t understand how the stock messaging in response to the GOP isn’t “people can’t buy food, gas and medicine, why are we worrying about public bathrooms and middle school soccer?”
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 23h
Craig Sager may be gone, but his spirit lives on
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 29/09/2026
Received my absentee ballot through the mail yesterday, dropped it off myself into the drop box at city hall today so as soon as I get the acceptance email when it’s scanned in I will feel confident my vote will be counted
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 29/09/2026
THE POWER K IS BACK We better be wearing blue jerseys and white pants with this
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 29/09/2026
This is fucking MONSTROUS to do to someone
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Goldstein (still not a pseudonym) @goldstein.latinsky.app · 28/09/2026
MASHUP of famous penny arcade and far side comics
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 29/09/2026
Good: I appear to have recovered Bad: Britt is now saying his stomach hurts
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 29/09/2026
PAC, Mr. Belding and Gordon Johncock? What the hell?
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 29/09/2026
Trying to eat a couple Eggos
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Abdul El-Sayed @abdulelsayed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Mike Rogers is a corporate sellout who moves back to Michigan every few years to run for office to take another swing at the revolving door of corporate politics.
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 29/09/2026
Why are you trans? Wrong answers only. As a confused man, it has always been my dream to invade women-only spaces and make real women uncomfortable
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 28/09/2026
I almost fell asleep in a staff meeting
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 28/09/2026
Someone reassure me that it’s actually not a bad thing to just commit to taking Britt and picking him up from marching band practice without trying to stay because I’m sick, no matter what gas prices are
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 28/09/2026
Presently in that weird space where you can’t decide if throwing up is going to make you feel better or worse Pretty sure this is from the chili being too greasy
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 28/09/2026
This was premature
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 28/09/2026
The Lanterns finale is gonna have a hell of a plane to land
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 28/09/2026
Anyone else miss when Sunday Night Football was just a dogshit game on ESPN at the end of the day
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 28/09/2026
ABC, starting a movie for kids and families at 9 p.m. on a school night is nasty work
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 28/09/2026
I made chili for dinner and I am so happy with that decision
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 27/09/2026
Harbaugh is going to get fired by Week 9
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 27/09/2026
Going to be honest and say I feel pretty damn amazing about myself this morning
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 27/09/2026
Fuck cancer.
As I watched from her side Connie quietly and peacefully slipped away from this life at about 9:00
last night.
In my 40 years of public service I have watched many people in their final moment's usually as I was working hard to keep them alive. To simply stand a watch someone who had been the center of you life for almost 30 years pass was strangely calming. I had already said my goodbye when I made the decision to stop treatment so I was and still am very much at peace and know she is also.
Please keep our kids Ashley, Emilee and Eric and their families in your thoughts over the next few days.
Thanks
Daniel Smith
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 27/09/2026
I have not heard the song and I’m not going to seek it out I listen to XMU almost exclusively for radio, so unless she collabs with Soccer Mommy or Phoebe Bridgers I probably won’t I use Spotify to listen to artists and songs I like, I’m not randomly playing modern pop
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 27/09/2026
I just found out the presenting sponsor for the Pride festival in Jackson, Tennessee, yesterday was… Hitachi. Gotta know your market I guess.
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#²⁴ Kentucky Football @kentuckyfootball.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
We want to send our best to former Wildcat Steven Borden Jr. After a scary incident in ring during AEW All Out. Wishing nothing but the best and a speedy recovery.
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 27/09/2026
Remember when this guy was being forced to be Miz’s sidekick?
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 27/09/2026
I think for this event they should announce him as Darby Allout
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 27/09/2026
God, El Hijo de Sting even sounds like his dad
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Link @dotdotexe.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
karma for the western michigan game but my weekend is ruined
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Call Me The Brie-ze @briesmith.xyz · 27/09/2026
…Mia has a good idea here
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