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Rachel H

@rachelcraves.bsky.social
926 followers 553 following 6.1K posts

Occasional writer, part time musician, always online. Melotrauma Productions. She/her/hers.

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Reposted by Rachel H
Elizabeth Anne, PhD @lacksauthority.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
never the wrong time for this classic
Screenshot of a tweet by @RobbtKraft reading “scientist: "does everyone here know what Watson and Crick discovered?" 
me from back of room: "Rosalind Franklin's notes"”
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Feeling very smug and self-satisfied that I have seen or heard of every extreme horror film on the list, but also sad because I want to learn about movies I haven't heard of yet. Good list!
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I'm so obsessed with Smoking Behind the Supermarket With You. I don't think I've watched a straight romance anime before?
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I watched Night of the Comet last night. How had I not seen it before?
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I had a dream I was dating Channing Tatum.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I miss writing
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Feeling really fucking fortunate today. My loved ones are everything to me.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I'm anxious like my life is at stake.
The Ticketmaster waiting room for Carly Rae Jepsen pre-sale tickets.
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Reposted by Rachel H
Small Robots @smolrobots.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
JRR Tolkien: You paint that picture of the key scene from the Two Towers where Frodo and Sam fight Gollum? Donato Giancola: Sure did, Ron, real fuckin' sexy just like you asked. JRRT: What.
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Girls Running From Houses @girlfleeshouse.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
The neighbours were rumoured to be morbid, yet they are rumoured to be handsome.
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Adam Sharp @adamcsharp.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
For those wondering what "Batman's Aff His Nut" sounds like in a proper Glaswegian accent, here's Robert Florence, who penned it, reciting it over a Batman teaser...
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Reposted by Rachel H
Adam Sharp @adamcsharp.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
And here again is my favourite ever Batman poem...
Batman’s aff his nut
Have you seen the way he cuts aboot
Dressed up as a mad fuckin bat
Batterin guys
I was lit at:
“Mate, I’m worried aboot ye
I know your ma and da died
But everybody’s ma and da dies
And we’re no aw runnin aboot
Hookin muggers and
Kickin psychopaths in the baws.”
And that was when Batman went
“Aye, but do ye ever feel like it?
Do you ever look at the world and feel like it?
Like having a big mad base under your hoose?
Do you ever feel like drivin a big mad motor
that turns intae a tank?
And leatherin fuck oot of guys aw night?
Scarin the fuckin shite oot of them?”
And that’s when I was lit at:
“Aye. Fuck it. Ah dae.”
And that’s the Secret Origin of Robin
And everyone else.
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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
sluggo’s embarrassing ska phase continues apace
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
My wife says Buddhists are good at being friends with benefits because they don't get too attached.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
My wife says Buddhists are good at being friends with benefits because they don't get too attached.
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Daniel Dockery @dandock.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I told my son that it was time for bed and he said "Uh uh uh, you didn't say the magic word" and I am deeply regretting ever showing him Jurassic Park
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I would like the next song I write to be a good one.
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Jeff VanderMeer @jeffvandermeer.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Chubmarine so cute. Chubmarine have no cares.
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Dr Hannah M. Rowland @hannahmrowland.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Hope your day was better than Darwin’s, on this day 165 years ago
I am very poorly today & very stupid & hate everybody &everything.

Charles Darwin
Letter to Charles Lyell
1st October 1861
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I don't understand how some people don't want a treat every day?? You don't always want a cookie??
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I can already feel October slipping away.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Umm an ice cream truck just drove by? With the jingle playing!
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I can't decide which type of glue to use on the plastic antlers for my Halloween costume so I'm going to use super glue on one side and b7000 on the other and see which works better.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I just got paid on Friday and my account is already overdrawn. My wife hasn't worked in a few weeks while she recovers from surgery. We'll be fine. We'll make it through the next two weeks somehow. The precarity is so stressful, though.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Is the word "meltdown" linked to autism enough to avoid using it in other contexts?
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Onosato saying that winning the tournament made him feel nostalgic is such a flex 😂😂😂
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JP @jpbrammer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
dreamt I started a trend among gen-z of referring to each other casually as "girlyopteryx." like archaeopteryx, but also, girl.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I know my limits. I know I can't sing Silver Springs.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
It is confusing to me when people refer to Godzilla Minus One as GMO because the new one is Godzilla Minus Zero. Can we please decide whether they're GMO and GMZ or (preferably) GM1 and GM0?
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Alex Kittle @alexxkittle.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Ahh ok ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: My 2027 illustrated wall calendar is in the works and the theme is cinematic cats and it is now up for pre-order! I have a lot more artwork to do!! I hope you like it!!!!! www.etsy.com/listing/4583...
etsy.com
PRE-ORDER: Cinematic Cats Illustrated Wall Calendar (2027) - Etsy
This Wall Calendars item is sold by panandscan. Ships from Arlington, MA. Listed on Sep 27, 2026
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Ok what is this song that everyone is talking about?
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I probably have a grueling week ahead.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Something that has brought me a great deal of joy over the past two years is suddenly gone and I'm sad about it.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I will keep making this joke until it goes viral.
Posts from 2023-2025 making jokes about Sukkot being decorative gourd season.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I want to sit in someone's sukkah
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Guitarists! Talk to me about pedals and where they fit into your songwriting process.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN
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Gwen C. Katz @gwenckatz.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Fuck ChatGPT flyers. The future is broadsheets.
A crowded broadsheet with way too many fonts. It says:
Forget ChatGPT Flyers
Say it with 
Broadsheets
Unlimited fonts
Stretch them
Or cram a really long sentence into one line for no good reason
No whitespace
Mix capital and lowercase
Pointing hands
(They're called manicules!)
Don't be left behind
Broadsheets are the future
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
My pals Pink Slip have a new album out today! Ska is alive and well in Boston pinkslip666.bandcamp.com/album/bathtu...
pinkslip666.bandcamp.com
Bathtub Madonna, by PINK SLIP
9 track album
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Kyle Gallner on Cinematrix! My time has come.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Bad: I got setting spray up my nose and can't stop sneezing. Good: The setting spray works because my mascara is staying put when I sneeze.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Happy Bisexual Visibility Day to bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens, carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee-wee Herman
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
This weekend noreaster that's coming might take all the leaves off the trees and fuck up leaf peeping for the season
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Reposted by Rachel H
Steve E. Tricks @refreshingtime.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
happy bi visibility day from the nobody believes you hand sofa
bisexual visibility couch with many disturbing hands reading "when you change or to and nobody believes you"
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Girls Running From Houses @girlfleeshouse.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
She is irresponsible.
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Emily✨ @emilyoram.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Always a treat to be reminded of an old friend
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I very much want to open my own microcinema.
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Barney the Dinosaur says Free Palestine
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Rachel H @rachelcraves.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
This happens every time I need to shower
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Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I came up with some more inane bullshit for everyone to argue about!
(September 23, 2026 at 10:44am)
Fake opinions to argue over…
- Never turn left on a first date.
- Every kindergarten student should have an unpaid internship.
- The periodic table is too sexual.
- Bigfoot should be allowed to vote.
- Having a dream is the same as reading a book.
- You can wear a crop top to a funeral if the deceased person was hot when they died.
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