Reposted by Puzzle Trail Paul
It's still government policy to roll out AI tutors and other forms of AI across primary and secondary education.
Maybe a rough equivalent would be banning all kids from public parks in case someone sells heroin to some of them, while also prescribing methadone to all kids, just for funsies.
![[Scene is the Tudor royal court. ladies and gentlemen standing round. In the corner a very fat HENRY VIII is hunched over playing a lute.]
1
LADY:
Hey Anne Boleyn -
Who’s that lute player?
ANNE BOLEYN:
I dunno
[Determined face]
But I’m gonna find out.
[Title lettering panel]:
THIS SUMMER
[Scene is now two musicians - one with a harp, the other is Henry VIII again playing the lute]
HARPIST:
Yo Henry VIII -
Who wrote that sick lute riff yo’ jamming?
HENRY VIII:
Why...
[Looking around, modest, surprised at the attention]
I did…!
[Title lettering panel]:
SEE THE STORY
[Scene is now a tudor record producer with ruff and wearing dark sunglasses]:
PRODUCER:
Congratulations Henry
Your lute thing is a hit and your story is now one of uncomplicated musical success!
[Show a panel with lots of Beatlemania-style scenes of success for Henry the musician - swooning tudor girls, playing lute on stage, waving to fans as he descends from his golden carriage. In the middle of it in Tudor lettering are the words]:
“UNCOMPLICATED MUSICAL SUCCESS MONTAGE”.
[Another scene - a man is saying to Henry]:
MAN:
Say Henry VIII -
Are you doing anything outside this narrative that is very bad or weird?
HENRY VIII:
No.
[Title lettering panel]:
…OF A MUSICAL GENIUS
who definitely didn’t do anything outside this narrative that was very bad or weird
[Scene with Thomas Cromwell]
THOMAS CROMWELL:
Hang on Henry aren't you also a -
HENRY VIII [jumping in front of him with his lute held aloft]:
LUTE SOLO!
[Final film title panel]:
HENRY VIII:
Rock Biopic
[rated U]
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreidmilghzmgnj35twr4xvnfm5eubpcdc4xmtd5nzexe2ybcubmeu7m)
![[Scene is MCcDONALDS PICKUP POINT but for the most part we can only see the close up faces of tha CUSTOMER and the McDONALDS EMPLOYEE at the serving point].
1
CUSTOMER:
Hi - I’m afraid this isn’t what I ordered
2
McDONALDS EMPLOYEE:
Number 187?
CUSTOMER:
Yes
3
CUSTOMER:
Maybe I pressed the wrong thing?
I just ordered one strawberry milkshake.
4
EMPLOYEE:
Oh - yeah sorry
5
EMPLOYEE:
The milkshake machine’s not working.
6
EMPLOYEE:
The only flavours we can do are vanilla, banana, and Labour Leader Pretending to be Nigel Farage.
7
CUSTOMER:
Is that a new flavour?
EMPLOYEE:
Yeah
8
[We now see that the employee has placed a gigantic milkshake cup on the counter]
EMPLOYEE:
If you look inside, there’s a Labour leader pretending to be Nigel Farage.
9
[Customer looks inside the cup]
10
[Show Keir Starmer dressed as Nigel Farage inside the cup]
CUSTOMER:
So there is
11
CUSTOMER:
Is that something people want, then?
EMPLOYEE:
No! No, not at all.
12
EMPLOYEE:
It just keeps happening when we press banana.
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibbip5v2gcsv5j7kp6qm7lp6hpmaqcsanoobea2dxms7gxgrqk4qy)
