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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 20m

Prince Edward Is Demanding His Butt Plug Because It's 8:00PM

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 1h

Lowering My Cunt On A Prize Winning Marrow At The Village Fete It's 7:00PM

020

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 2h

Spaff Your Man Fat All Over A Toblerone It's 6:00PM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 3h

Bukkake Beryl From Accounts It's 5:00PM

110

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 4h

Why Are There Spunk Stains In The Chicken Coop, You Dirty Hen Fucker? It's 4:00PM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 5h

Post-Orgasmic Poo It's 3:00PM

000

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 6h

Cockroach Jizz In A Mug! It's 2:00PM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 7h

Tromboning Michael Gove Like It's Last Night Of The Proms It's 1:00PM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 8h

Bending Backwards So You Can Sniff Your Own Asshole It's 12:00PM

000

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 10h

Shit In Your Hand And Throw It At The Sky It's 10:00AM

030

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 11h

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? Because He Was A Nonce It's 9:00AM

050

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 12h

Sweaty Piss Flaps It's 8:00AM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 13h

Sodding Shitcakes It's 7:00AM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 14h

Put Your Hand On My Ha'penny And Give Me Back A Farthing It's 6:00AM

011

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 15h

Shit Cock Twat Fuck Arse It's 5:00AM

062

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 17h

Piss On The Dog It's 3:00AM

000

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 18h

Go On Wipe It On The Curtains & Get The Fuck Outta Here It's 2:00AM

041

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 19h

Fuck In Time To The Archer's Theme It's 1:00AM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 20h

Ram Your Wanger Through The Glory Hole And Annoint Me With Your Man Fat It's 12:00AM

020

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 22h

Inhale My Bollocks It's 10:00PM

020

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 23h

Stroke Gentle Ben's Genitals And Watch Them Bear Erect Fruit It's 9:00PM

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Your Mum Has A Crucifix Shaped Dildo That's Attached To A Car Battery, And You Have To Kick Start It, It's 7:00PM

020

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Piss In Your Socks And Then Wear Them It's 5:00PM

020

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I'm Sorry, I Only Rim On A First Date It's 2:00PM

020

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Chuck Your Yogurt All Over Jesus's Asymmetric Boob-Job It's 1:00PM

021

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Jesus Christ, Do We Have To Watch The Paris Hilton Sex Tape Again? It Has No Artistic Merit. It's 12:00PM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Rim A Hairy Tramp To Remove The Dangle Berries While They Fart In Your Face It's 11:00AM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

They Did The Gash, They Did The Monster Gash It's 10:00AM

020

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I Am Swearclock. You Are Cunts! It's 9:00AM

031

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Wank Out Your Window And Watch The World Go By It's 8:00AM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

That Isn't Milk In Your Coffee It's 7:00AM

020

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Batman Has Excessive Helmet Cheese It's 6:00AM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Get The Fuck Off My Lawn It's 5:00AM

031

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Lube My Bum With Tiger Balm And Slide The Creme Egg In It's 4:00AM

030

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Record Me Wanking On Your Ring Doorbell It's 3:00AM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Scrape My Herpes And Eat It Off A Ryvita It's 2:00AM

000

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Stick The Sun Logo Over A Picture Of Matt Hancock Getting Jiggy In A Cupboard It's 1:00AM

000

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Flash! A-Aaaaah, He'll Fist Every One Of Us! It's 12:00AM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Follow Through At Your Desk And Sit In Your Shit It's 11:00PM

021

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Sell My Pubes To Cash Converters For A Ps1 Game It's 10:00PM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Stick A Tampon Up Your Bum It's 8:00PM

010

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The Old Pink Gristle Test It's 6:00PM

020

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Give Your Boss A Golden Shower At Your Next Staff Appraisal It's 4:00PM

021

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Fuck A Brexit Voter Up The Shitter It's 3:00PM

040