Partner with Captcha to replace photos of bicycles with photos of candidate’s face

Put it on the table. Let it sweat. Nothing you do here will matter.

Of course, it’s practically 100 degrees in here, but I’ll grab my jacket anyway, because it looks great in photos.

The only employee who has access to the form is Elizabeth. There are two Elizabeths at every branch. Do not ask the wrong Elizabeth for the form.

by Luke Burns & James Folta A weekly newsletter dedicated to humorous writing and humorous writers. We round up the best short humor pieces and funny articles every week, and have some fun extras ever...

The Pope always gets the AUX cord, and he’s always blasting either Gregorian chants or Steely Dan.

Can I show you now? I know you’re eating dinner but since you’re sleeping with my sister, it’s only fair that you take a look at it.

The Pope always gets the AUX cord, and he’s always blasting either Gregorian chants or Steely Dan.

Everyone's grandmother has a chili recipe. That is not a flex, Kevin. That is the floor.

He doesn’t pay attention to where he’s flailing his arms. He doesn’t ask for consent before brushing strangers.

Let’s continue to enjoy these occasional run-ins, but this coffee will never happen.

Oh my gosh, you think twelve characters is too much. You think I’m a terrible person. Tell me if this is too much.

Trust me when I say there’s nothing worse than being chucked into a lost and found box with a lime-green Stanley invading your personal space.

Trust me when I say there’s nothing worse than being chucked into a lost and found box with a lime-green Stanley invading your personal space.

by Luke Burns & James Folta A weekly newsletter dedicated to humorous writing and humorous writers. We round up the best short humor pieces and funny articles every week, and have some fun extras ever...

You’re actually texting your dentist office’s landline, not the hottie you met at the bar last week.

Our first action item? Clearing out all the obsolete, natural apple trees and replacing them with our genetically-optimized Mega Mutant Apple Trees™.

The client received the Agency’s draft of the windshield wiper fluid copy. Make it less swish-swish and more swoosh-swoosh.

Thong-Shaped Panty Liner: You live dangerously. Some might even say delusionally.

i know my load bearing contributions to the “hot dudes reading” instagram and the “guys reading bell hooks” online community were a silent source of contention.

Thong-Shaped Panty Liner: You live dangerously. Some might even say delusionally.

Mr. Hunt, I know you said that no one reads the beginning of recipes, but is this really the best way to send you missions?

Her surreptitious syndicate sidesteps supervision. The hush-hush seashell shell company shuffles Sally’s sales through shadowy subsidiaries.

by Luke Burns & James Folta A weekly newsletter dedicated to humorous writing and humorous writers. We round up the best short humor pieces and funny articles every week, and have some fun extras ever...

Our young people are completely unprepared to protect islands from the bloodlust of the unholy Minotaur like I was when I grew up.

What else? I guess unplug the television and drape a blanket over it, just to be safe.

Game Show With The Most Dystopian Vibe

The love of your life, your future wife and the mother of your children, is there tonight, and because you skipped it now we end up alone.

Hot-desking means that no individual knight has an assigned seat at the Round Table. Instead, every knight chooses his seat upon arriving for the day.

I believe this time away from the public eye will help me explore the ways in which I can improve being horrific without any recorded evidence.

Select squares containing bicycles. Select all persons who have lost their lust for life but are putting on a brave face for their friends and loved ones.

Select squares containing bicycles. Select all persons who have lost their lust for life but are putting on a brave face for their friends and loved ones.

We want options. Portrait, landscape, bird’s eye, Dutch angles. Be creative. How might our family look on the cover of Vogue?

Due to unforeseen circumstances, your meal box has been delayed. Consider this surprise as our gift of a day's respite to you.

People are looking at me. They’re following the fajita flight path and seeing that they’re not landing in front of Sam, who looks ridiculous in his dumb birthday hat.

Remember when your kid was in the hospital with pneumonia? I stayed up all night, sending you reels of AI-generated cats doing the Dougie. You left me on read.

Today's listing of the day is: Points in Case @pointsincase.com #WritingCommunity

One XL cauldron. Some fingernail marks on inner walls from where ingredients have been desperately trying to claw their way out.

by Luke Burns & James Folta A weekly newsletter dedicated to humorous writing and humorous writers. We round up the best short humor pieces and funny articles every week, and have some fun extras ever...

He’s been a retired military operative, a retired special forces soldier, and a retired black ops assassin. But now, he owns an independent bookstore.

East Mattress has long coveted the more optimal nightstand situation in West Mattress, ever since I took that business trip and she had the whole bed to herself.

Per our principal’s direction, students will begin the year with simple grappling, holds, and dropkicks. In October, we’ll transition to choreographed power moves.

Is there anyone else in your family with boobs whose boobs you can tell us about? What about your mom? Tell us about your mom’s boobs.

5:00-5:15 AM — EXCITEMENT WINDOW. Feel free to express enthusiasm about the trip during this time. Note your mother has not finished her coffee. Excitement should be silent.