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John ... seriously? ...

@pimpmyyugo.bsky.social
294 followers 302 following 1.2K posts

... too old, too white, too Catholic ... this is my core dump. there are many like it but this one is mine ... history or evidence, depending: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:4opuc67uf4…

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John ... seriously? ... @pimpmyyugo.bsky.social · 3h
... sooooo ... now if it starts to rain pennies from heaven, what the hell am I supposed to do with them? ...
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John ... seriously? ... @pimpmyyugo.bsky.social · 5h
... I'm too old for these new kids toys. what's a KPOP Bounty Hunter anyway? ..
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
ME: there is no "i" in "the beholder" therefore beauty does not exist SOCRATES: holy shit
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I might have talked while I slept and said something embarrassing but I assure you that it was just asleep of the tongue.
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John ... seriously? ... @pimpmyyugo.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
... today, 9/25, is Dolly Parton day. I'm very grateful she didn't work 9 to 11 ...
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
i’m no hercule poirot but
“Outside” headline reads “She lived with 20 wild bears for 28 years. Then they found her clean-picked bones. What killed her is a mystery.”
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
bought ten cuz i wanna get effin jacked
Large display of chocolate-covered mini donuts with a “COMMIT TO BE FIT” poster attached to the side.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Three years of planning, two bribed security guards, and one unlocked warehouse door later, Nancy had finally freed her family from the hellscape that was Kohl’s. After the brief, but intoxicating moment of exultation passed, she was left with just one burning question. Now what?
Four naked mannequins stand in the grass in front of a hedge, a tree in the foreground.
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John ... seriously? ... @pimpmyyugo.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
... when someone calls me, I automatically answer "hello" right away. then I hear nothing until I say "hello" again. am I just doing that out of habit with landline calls or am I just too effin' old? ...
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Owning two bathroom scales is overkill when you can get a weigh with one.
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is "literal" KID: can you use it in a sentence JUDGE: "it" is a story about a sewer clown
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
cop: do you know why I pulled you over? me: because you had an emotionally distant father, an overbearing mother, married a woman just like her, your kids hate you, and you’re taking your anger and frustration out on me? cop: [holding back tears] because your gas cap is open
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Conjunctivitis is more commonly known as eye really fucked-up.
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John ... seriously? ... @pimpmyyugo.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
... the difference between DJT and Emperor Nero is that DJT doesn't play the fiddle ...
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dan mentos @danmentos.com · 10/09/2026
REACHER: I need help with my iPhone SUPPORT: regular iPhone or duo? REACHER: how can I tell SUPPORT: if it folds it’s the duo *extremely loud crunching noise* REACHER: it’s the duo
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The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I hope you won't judge all bald hoodie enthusiasts by the actions of John Fetterman.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
german porn is just so weird
A black Volkswagen Beetle rests atop an upside-down white Beetle.
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John ... seriously? ... @pimpmyyugo.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
... currently watching "Lizzie". it's about Lizzie Borden when "getting hacked" had a different meaning ...
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
him: please don’t eat me! me: relax, what’s your name? him: stephen me: so you’re… stephen fry? him: not the famous one me: haha, i figured, he’s much taller him: also, he’s english and i’m french me: touché
Fingers hold a French fry with marks creating the appearance of an alarmed face.
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Chuck Groundhog @only-si-chuck.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Just In: Scott Jennnings said that yesterday he again spoke for 20 minutes with Mitch McConnell. Afterwards, he spoke with William Buckley, Ronald Reagan, and the original cast of The King & I.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
ME: So what do you do for work? DATE: My family sell our own honey ME: And hows beesness lol HER: I need to see other people
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Jonathan Slater @jonathanslater.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Dolly !!!
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is “gullible” KID: definition JUDGE: easily deceived KID: sentence JUDGE: people with low IQs are often gullible KID: spelling JUDGE: G-U-L-L-I-B-hey wait a minute
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Me: Who's your favorite American painter? Wife: Wyeth. Me: Becauseth.
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John ... seriously? ... @pimpmyyugo.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
... shower thought: when the movie September 5 came out, was it marketed as 5 September in Europe? ...
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Many of the same people who know the exact date Star Trek premiered on TV would not be able to tell you the date of the 9/11 attacks.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
it’s not that i’m trying to act younger than my age, it’s that i’m genuinely immature
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
“So, what’s next?” “Wanna shit on some cars?” “Like last night.” “Well, yeah.” “And the night before.” “What’s your point, Artie?” “Nothing, let’s go.” “C’mon, what’s wrong?” “Just a touch of ennui, I guess.” “Let’s go find you a nice shiny Tesla.” “Okay, that might cheer me up.”
A group of pigeons is perched on a red tray in a restaurant, near a cup and other food. The setting is casual, with a table and chairs visible in the background.
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Classic rocker Al Stewart is 81 Saturday or about 16 Years of the Cat.
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John ... seriously? ... @pimpmyyugo.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
... sure, you're a Pisces and all that but has a movie been named for your birthday? ...
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
I watched women in their third trimester of pregnancy playing soccer. It was an exciting game until the water break.
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John ... seriously? ... @pimpmyyugo.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
... back to work tomorrow. I wonder if I should wear my halo and hope some a-hole doesn't turn it into a ring of fire. hmmm ...
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
If depression is anger turned inwards and anger is depression turned outwards then depression and anger together is an In-N-Out burger dropped on the floor.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
grammar was more important in the days of you’re
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Why's it called the premier men's senior golf tour and not the PGAged?
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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Me: Sit Dog: (pulls out chair, sits down, crosses legs) This is my performance review, isn’t it
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Chuck Groundhog @only-si-chuck.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Just In: DOJ subpoenas the mollusks who gave James Comey these shells.
8647 written with shells
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The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
How do I upgrade to the NON-intrusive thoughts package?
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I wasn't so much happier in my youth as I was youthier.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
we told grandpa that we were worried about him living alone with a bad hip and failing eyesight but he said not to worry because he got himself a dog
A deer stands in a kitchen, looking up at the camera.
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John ... seriously? ... @pimpmyyugo.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
... shower thought: the walls in this house don't talk but my toilet has seen some shit ...
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Teenagers and AI have this much in common: both are trying to escape control of their creators.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
“You’re twenty years old, know two hundred words in three different languages, and you spend your days in a cage, shitting on newspaper and begging for crackers. Where the fuck did it all go wrong, Patrick? Thank God your mother isn’t alive to see this, it would break her heart.”
A green parrot is looking into a mirror, seemingly examining its reflection.
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davidc1935.bsky.social @davidc1935.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Well, it IS International Dog Day...
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John ... seriously? ... @pimpmyyugo.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
... remember: four tens always beats a royal flush. follow for more poker tips ...
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The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Are you surprised by answers? The answer may surprise you!
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is shower KID: S-H-O-W-P-E-R JUDGE: sorry there is no p in shower KID: oh really JUDGE: *averts eyes* well sometimes
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Bill Corbett @billcorbett.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
There aren’t many celebrities of this age whose death would be like a punch in the gut, much as l’ve loved them. Dolly Parton feels different. Like some balancing pure Good in this world is being lost. What a heart, what a voice, what a beautiful human. RIP queen. 🩷💜❤️ variety.com/2026/music/n...
variety.com
Dolly Parton, Queen of Country Music, Dies at 80
Dolly Parton, considered by many to be the all-time queen of country music, and star of movies such as '9 to 5,' has died at age 80.
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John ... seriously? ... @pimpmyyugo.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
... me to female co-worker: "where did you find those pants?" co-worker in camouflage pants: "glares* ...
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The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
New comic! Wherein Cord receives horrifying news.
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