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The grass toucher

@patrocalypse.bsky.social
616 followers 572 following 948 posts

I touch grass so you don’t have to

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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 8h
Motherfucker we have a shortage of accountants
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Gee wow yeah I wonder why
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I think I prefer Sports Bluesky as opposed to the other two discourse options: bringing iced coffee to an interview and EA/AI sex parties
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I show up to interviews with two ice coffees and drink them both very slowly as a power move
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Shutter Island Keep Ruffalo
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
“Housing is a human right” is actually absurd on its face. Housing doesn’t exist in nature. It is something that we should work to provide to every citizen, but it is not a right in the same way that speech or voting is.
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
bro come on go do your job get this guy outta there
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
Bro didn’t Korea just imprison their corrupt president like last year?
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Hoodlum 🇺🇸 @nothoodlum.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
After the White House complained about an unflattering photo of Karoline Leavitt, it was removed from AFP and Getty’s systems. This is the photo in question. Please do not repost it. 👇
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Bill Grueskin @bgrueskin.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
Here is the image, via @oliverdarcy.bsky.social, that stirred the White House's ire
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
no he isn't Peter, he is a bumbling liar who goes on tv all day to lie. he is positively dishonest Peter
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
Wow the replies here are really something
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
John Rawls rolling in his grave
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
Game theory strikes again
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
We’d probably be better off if we just retired the Democratic Party brand and everyone ran as independent against Republicans
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
I think an important plank for any 2028 presidential contender will be “I will put Trump and his administration in stocks and parade them around the country so citizens can throw rotten vegetables at their dumb faces”
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
We should just anchor 7am to the sunrise
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
bro this is unhinged even for him
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
Taxing them and lighting the money on fire is better than not taxing them at all
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 11/02/2026
Aren't these the people who are afraid of trains?
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 29/01/2026
The question the Humanities should be asking is: "are we human, or are we dancer?"
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
It's kind of stunning to see because there is a pretty clear off-ramp for them -- several even! -- and they just refuse to take it because they can never ever ever admit that they were wrong about something.
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
These people don't believe in the court of law and know they can't win an argument under those conditions. So they manipulate the court of public opinion. This was also demonstrated by the recent article about Kash & his FBI
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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
bsky.app/settings/con...
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
Wow this woman from Florida actually seems to be doing Jack Smith a lot of favors.
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
Man it was really nice forgetting Darrell Issa existed there for a bit
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
God this speech is just totally unhinged
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Joe Streckert @joestreckert.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
One of the big media failures of the past decade is the ongoing search for the deeper side of Trump. There isn't one. His ideology, such as it is, is personalist, transactional, and zero-sum. That's as vain, vulgar, and wrong as you can get. He likes gold shit and applause. There's nothing beneath.
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 16/01/2026
Cynicism is what allowed people to say “both sides” for far too long. To be clear I mean the dual cynicism amongst both elites and the electorate.
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Chanda Prescod-Weinstein 🌌 @chanda.blacksky.app · 14/01/2026
This should be a national shutdown
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 12/01/2026
DHS has always been nonsensical. “Homeland Security” is a distinction w/o difference from “Defense”. If immigration is a national security issue, house the agents there.
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
The real danger here is conceding that indeed we cannot believe our lying eyes
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
Yes billionaires famously believe in non-zero-sum thinking and express this belief through their generous support of the social safety net
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
Under no circumstances is it advantageous to argue with Nazis on their own ground. Matt, you used to have worthwhile ideas to contribute. What happened?
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 03/12/2025
He's a god damn car salesman
Screenshot of wikipedia article: "He owns an automobile dealership in Weatherford that he inherited. With a net worth of $27.7 million, Williams was listed as the 22nd wealthiest member of congress in 2018."
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
All these people could disappear tomorrow and the world would be fine
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NFL News Poster @nflnewsposter.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
[Rapoport] The #Jets are trading Sauce Gardner to the #Colts. Blockbuster. twitter.com/RapSheet/sta...
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 13/10/2025
Y’all know about raisins and grapes right? And pickles and cucumbers??
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 11/10/2025
Isn’t this the same guy who forced Indiana to overturn its heinous anti-LGBTQ law a few years ago?
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
because that isn't what they believe or how they feel
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
What the fuck is this bullshit
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Patrick Daugherty @rotopat.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
The year is 2025 The deep ball is dead The last good player in the NFL is Daniel Jones
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 19/09/2025
They just tear-gassed us. They tried to run us over in a van holding a peaceful protester. They shot us with pepper balls. They dragged another protester into the facility.
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Matthew Cortland (they) @matthewcort.land · 19/09/2025
States can mitigate that to a certain extent — they can get rid of some hoops. But states have very limited funds, and they might not have the cash to pay for vaccines in the same way the federal government does. That's really going to hurt poor kids
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 18/09/2025
Buckinghamshire doesn't even sound like a real place
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Don Moynihan @donmoyn.bsky.social · 18/09/2025
Let me get this straight: you get cancelled for calling them fascists and get investigated for being anti-fascist
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 15/09/2025
Not hypocritical. Clearly they just think the rules of civility don't apply to them. It's also clear that the reason they do this is because they believe the sentiment that democrats or other out-groups are less deserving of the rights and laws that protect conservatives; they express it often
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 15/09/2025
Thats right
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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
me: hey dave, you almost done. we open the bakery in 5 min.... dave grohl: I'VE GOT ANOTHER CONFECTION TO BAKE
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The grass toucher @patrocalypse.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
@darthbluesky.bsky.social I found a restaurant I think you'd like potatogoodness.com
potatogoodness.com
Potatoes | Potato Nutrition | Types of Potatoes | Recipes
PotatoGoodness.com the source for potato information. Learn about potato nutrition, types of potatoes, culinary tips, fun facts and history.
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