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@newmessage.bsky.social
326 followers 320 following 1.2K posts

The truth is, I'm here to entertain ME, not you. If you feel anything is 'too sacred to ridicule' you are an extremist. youtube.com/@NewMessage

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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 11h
🤞
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Teasing his Reichstag moment?
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George Wallace @mrgeorgewallace.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Private companies are hiding the Musk doc, while public funds are makin' Trump ads. If you are cool with it you can kiss my entire black ass and whatnot.
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ouinne @ouinne.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
ANNUAL HALLOWEEN REMINDER THAT ANYTHING WITH ACTIVATED CHARCOAL *WILL* FUCK WITH YOUR MEDICATIONS
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Holy shit. This guy just won us the trade war.
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
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M Meerkat @kackbro.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
We Feel Your Pain,Bernie.......
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Alfred E. Neuman ( MAD Magazine ) @alfreds-mad-world.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
National Ghost Hunting Day • September 26 2026 #madmagazine
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Marie Antoinette: "Let them eat cake!" * supporters prepare to flee the imminent Revolution * Donald Trump: "Let them eat shit!" * supporters start posting tiktoks of recepie ideas *
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Not even in Revelations? Hunh.
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Considering real life has become a ZAZ movie... It kinda has to be, doesn't it?
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Oh, yeah... that time I got diagnosed with the Diabeetus.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 24/09/2026
Dog Can’t Believe Guy She Hooked Up With 10 Years Ago Now Head Of FBI theonion.com/dog-cant-believe-guy-s…
Dog Can’t Believe Guy She Hooked Up With 10 Years Ago Now Head Of FBI
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Optics and Design is still hard at work, I see...
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Andreas 🇨🇦 Fella 💙 #AbolishICE, #SlavaUkraini @andreasor.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
vt.tiktok.com/ZSq3WTWhy/ #SuicidePrevention #LGBQT
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PEIPolitical 🇨🇦 @peipolitical.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Mark Carney IMITATES Trump in HILARIOUS MOMENT: The room ERUPTS in laughter. #cdnpoli www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWx9...
youtube.com
Mark Carney IMITATES Trump in HILARIOUS MOMENT: The room ERUPTS in laughter
YouTube video by Diario AS
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𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.lol · 19/09/2026
“Why’s everyone so horny here?” may have been less a complaint than a body count.
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
"They are not all accounted for, the lost Seeing Stones! We do not know who else may be watching!"
Some evil wizards, listening in.
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I knew I'd seen that look in Kash Patel's eyes before!
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Trifid Duane of Canada🍁🇨🇦 @trifidofcanada.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
God bless the great Andy Donato. Canadians grew up with his cartoons and very Canadian political cartoon style. RIP 1937-2026 😭
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I said it once, I'll say it again... That is the face of a chicken fucker.
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Legit thought this was a toddler in a headlock for a second there...
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Ian Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 10/09/2026
Some of those that work forces Are the same that fuck horses
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Is.. is that what happened to Jimothy's spine?
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Jim Henson's Creature Shop really phoned it in on this one.
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Just put it in a bag of rice.. it'll be fine.
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
I dunno.. a magical guy dressed all in red, with an army of minions to do his bidding, teaching kids to be greedy? Sounds like they got the right address.
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Tammy Golden @tammygolden.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
RIP to the great Bob Mackie. We should all wear a Carol Burnett "Gone with the Wind" curtain costume for Halloween. Though it'll be hard to pass each other on the street.
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Johnathan Perkins @johnathanperk.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Screaming 😂😩
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ChloeDelilahTea @pinkdelilahtea.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Coyote Vs. Acme's marketing if it was good go check out the film btw
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Yep... it's still a castle.
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
🎶I'm lyin' in Onionhead, just like Bryan Wilson did🎶
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
"What, me prosper?"
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The Beaverton @thebeaverton.com · 08/09/2026
Counter-Tariffs take effect as Canadians brace for life without American truck nutz
thebeaverton.com
Counter-Tariffs take effect as Canadians brace for life without American truck nutz
OTTAWA - With anti-American counter-tariffs taking effect as of September 8th, Canadians will be forced to make due without easy market access to their most-purchased American products, namely chrome ...
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Just blew my nephew's mind by informing him that, technically, dino nuggies are made from real dinosaurs.
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Rebecca Watson @skepchick.org · 06/09/2026
The Tick Season 1 Episode 12, broadcast in 1995, predicted 9/11.
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Relax. He was looking at color choices for the new Reflecting Pool liner, and accidentally got his head stuck in the bucket. It'll peel off soon.
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Rob Sheridan @rob-sheridan.com · 05/09/2026
My cousin’s shirt took me a second. He said “it’s great because anyone who would be offended by it couldn’t understand it anyway.”
A shirt with the following words in rainbow colors:
Fluorine
Uranium
Carbon
Potassium
Titanium
Rubidium
Uranium
Magnesium
Platinum
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Great. I only just shed my childhood fear of falling into quicksand.
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Time to up my meds. I 100% see Baby Hitler in that cloud.
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
This should be this channels pfp, really.
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Brittlestar @brittlestar.com · 04/09/2026
This is too far. Trump renamed Eric??
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The Beaverton @thebeaverton.com · 03/09/2026
Hegseth pauses busy schedule of inspecting soldiers’ scrotums to make weird comments about Canadian teens’ bodies
thebeaverton.com
Hegseth pauses busy schedule of inspecting soldiers’ scrotums to make weird comments about Canadian teens’ bodies
WASHINGTON D.C. - Secretary of War Pete Hegseth has posted disparaging comments about female Canadian Air Force cadets, all while maintaining his busy schedule of personally inspecting the testicles o...
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Kylie Eleison @gonebabygone.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Well yeah she's an adult
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Barney Panofsky's Best Intentions @mynamesnotgordy.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Deer My Friends The US is reely makeen me mad right now with there teariffs and renaming things but I have worn a Pertect Ontario hat, poured Amuricun licker on the ground and made a big sign with Lake Ontario printed on it but I am all out of ideas now so I will tear out some bike lanes. Premair
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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 02/09/2026
The Lake of America is absolutely teeming with invasive life! www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-f...
mcsweeneys.net
A Field Guide to the Wildlife of Lake America
From the Redacted Fish (Coregonos epsteinfilens) to the Lamprey Assistant (Petromyzon harpius), this guide has you covered on all the new invasive wildlife l...
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Dennis Goris | Cartoons @dennisgoris.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
What’s in a name?
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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 31/08/2026
"Who cares if everyday Americans can no longer eat bread without chipping a tooth or bleeding internally from all those shards of glass? They can eat cake. The same goes for fresh greens. We have it on good authority that a layer cake is considered a salad in most of the Midwest." buff.ly/epPztWX
mcsweeneys.net
Relax, If Food Is No Longer Safe to Eat, Just Eat Cake
“Liberals can grumble all they want about ‘affordability’ and ‘access to food that doesn’t leave them doubled over on the toilet begging for death.’ This is ...
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New Message @newmessage.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
The AI is already trying to make drinking water uncool, so there's more left for its data centers.
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Allison Gill @muellershewrote.com · 28/08/2026
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