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Measles Mumps Rubella

@midwestmania.bsky.social
309 followers 95 following 26 posts
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Reposted by Measles Mumps Rubella
The Onion @theonion.com · 08/01/2026
Insecure, Frustrated Bully With Something To Prove Considering Career In Law Enforcement theonion.com/insecure-frustrated-bu…
Insecure, Frustrated Bully With Something To Prove Considering Career In Law Enforcement
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
The text faded to the paywall at the same rate as my eyes would have glazed over anyway
THE FRONT-RUNNER

Californias Gavin Newsom would rather be wrong than weak.
By Helen Lewis 

(Header for an Atlantic article about Gavin Newsom, it features a picture of him looking like a real smart politics guy)
“GAVIN NEWSOM HAS A 30-PAGE FILE of reasons the Democrats lost the 2024 presidential election. Bounding across his Sacramento office, he starts listing them: incumbency, inflation, interest rates, Israel—and that's just the letter I. "Yes, too woke," he adds. "Yes, 107 days, referring to the short campaign after Joe Biden's forced withdrawal.
  But the California governor distills his party's problem down to one word. *Weak.*”

(On the last paragraph the text starts to fade from black to gray)“Newsom slaps his hand on a marked-up hardback of Bill
Clinton's memoir, brought down from the shelf a minute earlier.
"Given the choice," he tells me, summing up a crucial Clinton insight—one many Democrats still can't quite seem to grasp—"the American people always support strong and wrong versus weak and”

(The text gets lighter and lighter until you can barely read it, that’s how huh kiwi you’ve hit that paywall baybay)
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Measles Mumps Rubella @midwestmania.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
Do you need a gift for someone in your life? I highly recommend a piece from this incredible artist! My partner loves his International Brotherhood of Biscuit Makers shirt. The quality is top notch and everyone will compliment your shirt.
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Scare-ed Skullnick @jaredskolnick.bsky.social · 15/11/2025
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Technology Connections @techconnectify.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
BTW, I would really like @consumerreports.org to watch this video and perhaps start breathing down the necks of those big companies for forcing everyone into using pre-dosed products. That's the opposite of pro-consumer, imo. youtu.be/DAX2_mPr9W8
youtu.be
I was right about dishwasher pods, and now I can prove it
YouTube video by Technology Connections
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FieldExplores (Gator Days) @fieldexplores.bsky.social · 13/10/2025
Daddy - Gator Days
Daddy - Gator Days

Transcript

Panel 1

Daryl is serving a customer. He's just made him a drink and is handing it over. The customer's tab information is open at the register revealing his name is Kris Pun Name because Chris P. Bacon would have been too obvious.

Daryl: Here's your drink.

Kris (with a wink): Thanks, Daddy!

Panel 2

Daryl (thinking): Daddy?

Daryl is bewildered at this. Daddy? Why would anyone call him Daddy? He's not old enough to be a Daddy. Is he? What even is this?

Panel 3

Daryl is at home in bed next to his sleeping husband. He's still obsessing over the whole Daddy situation. Daddy? Seriously? Really? Is he looking that old?

Daryl (thinking): Daddy... Really?

Panel 4

Daryl is watching the sun set and still feeling awkward about the whole Daddy thing. Where has his youth gone? He feels like he's still kid. Maybe he should ask his doctor about a colonoscopy.

Daryl: Daddy... Dang.
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Measles Mumps Rubella @midwestmania.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
My partner, “Pspspspsps…”
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Measles Mumps Rubella @midwestmania.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
This is my favorite piece. So much so my partner now has it on a t-shirt. Highly recommend all the Sov-Cat pieces. I gladly welcome our biscuit making comrades.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 16/09/2025
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Gavin Newsom theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-i…
The Onion: Where did you grow up?

Newsom: I need to check some polling data before I answer that question.
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Chris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 29/08/2025
I was just telling my girlfriend the other day that the old world is dying. And, my stars, the new world is struggling to be born. And now is the time when you meet such INNNNteresting monsters.
bugs bunny in the bit where she does gossamer's nails in a super gay way
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Star Trek Minus Context @nocontexttrek1.bsky.social · 21/08/2025
Star Trek The Next Generation scene and we're on 'da bridge, down near the laid back chairs where one would navigate the ship. But the bridge is EMPTY OF OTHERS except for Dr Crusher. Where is everyone? We'll never know. Back to Bev, she's standing in the first picture and then in the second frame sits in the chair looking puzzled and stressed, while red alert lights shine all around.  Closed caption reads, "If there's nothing wrong with me... maybe there's something wrong with the universe."Alt in picture one!
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Sean Rose the World’s Strongest @jabronisean.bsky.social · 24/07/2025
I don't like to speak badly of people. I have grown up thinking and being told that if you cannot say something nice about someone, you should not say anything at all. But I must break that rule in this case because I hate Hulk Hogan very much. He is a big ugly goon and I want to squash his face.

-Andre the Giant
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The Onion @theonion.com · 23/07/2025
Shocking Video Captures Calm Police Officers Handling Situation Nonviolently
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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 29/06/2025
Since my tweet about Jeff Bezos, I've been getting a lot of replies such as these. "Where do these dress rules come from?" "When do they change?" These are very good questions, so let me answer them. 🧵
A screenshot of two tweets. One says": "How much of this is dressing appropriately vs just staying stuck in the old ways? How/ went does fashion evolve?" The other tweet says: "Who decides 'wrong' here? All of this is made up anyhow. Just because somewhere along the line, someone said it should be a certain way, doesn't mean it always has to be that way."
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 07/06/2025
A brown-haired woman is retrieving clothing from her dresser. Her partner, a black-haired woman with bangs asks her "are we in a typical lesbian relationship?" As the brown-haired woman extracts a green shirt from the dresser, she asks rhetorically "pfft, what even IS a typical lesbian relationship.?" The black-haired woman says "yeah, you're right, there's no such thing" as she puts on her round glasses. Her partner, now fully dressed comes up to her revealing they have accidentally put on clothing that makes them resemble Marcie and Peppermint Patty from Peanuts.
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Measles Mumps Rubella @midwestmania.bsky.social · 05/06/2025
I just want to be a cat today. No thoughts; only sleep.
Grey tabby cat with white feet and pink toe beans sleeping g on a black and red buffalo plaid shirt.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 03/06/2025
Area Homosexual Saves Four From Fire theonion.com/area-ho...
Area Homosexual Saves Four From Fire
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onion person @junlper.beer · 09/05/2025
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U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission @cpsc.gov · 24/04/2025
It's Playground Safety Week.
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
Sailor Moon smokes a cig and angrily complaints to Sailor Mercury "I'm burnt out, man. I'm fighting evil by moonlight... I'm winning love by daylight. I'm on no sleep! Something's gotta give!"
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Measles Mumps Rubella @midwestmania.bsky.social · 02/04/2025
I mean, yeah.
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Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt.bsky.social · 29/03/2025
hahaha fuck yes
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The Onion @theonion.com · 26/03/2025
Area Dog Will Never Live Up To Dog On Purina Bag theonion.com/area-do...
Area Dog Will Never Live Up To Dog On Purina Bag
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Measles Mumps Rubella @midwestmania.bsky.social · 21/03/2025
It’s time
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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
This might be my favorite comic that we've made.
1 Interviewer: Do you promise you will love us unconditionally?
2 Interviewer: And value your employer above your friends and family?
3 Person: Haha no, I just want to make money.
4 Interviewer: Look me in the eyes and tell me you would jump on a live hand grenade to protect this Wendy's.
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Deogie @deogie.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
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Measles Mumps Rubella @midwestmania.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
Designing a machine to press the button for me
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Technology Connections @techconnectify.bsky.social · 06/03/2025
I've been thinking a lot about that bumper sticker which says "everything looks like a conspiracy theory when you don't understand how anything works" and folks it's pretty obvious to me that the people in power right now have absolutely no desire to understand how anything works.
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𝔻𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕥 @thatsgoodweb.bsky.social · 28/02/2025
Naoyuki Kato
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Nathan Bulmer @natemorebikes.bsky.social · 27/02/2025
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Gays Of Bluesky @gaysof.bsky.social · 27/02/2025
💚🌿💚🌿🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🌿💚🌿💚 ✨🍏✨T R A N S✨🍏✨ 💎🐍💎P E O P L E💎🐍💎 💚🪩💚F U C K I N G💚🪩💚 ⚡🍃⚡B E L O N G⚡🍃⚡ 💚🌿💚🌿🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🌿💚🌿💚
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The Onion @theonion.com · 26/02/2025
“Pretty much every day I roll out of bed, eat breakfast, head to the office, get beamed aboard the Kluforian mothership for medical analysis, and then go home—like, is this the rest of my life?” said Matthew Taylor theonion.com/man-fee...
Man Feels Like Whole Life Just Endless Cycle Of Work, Eat, Sleep, Get Abducted By Aliens
‘It’s Pretty Much Just Wake Up, Eat, Get Abducted By Aliens Again, And Sleep,’ Says Local Man
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tamrakat @tamrakat.bsky.social · 22/02/2025
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The Onion @theonion.com · 18/02/2025
Man Waiting Until Parents Die Before Doing A Single Thing That Makes Him Happy theonion.com/man-wai...
Man Waiting Until Parents Die Before Doing A Single Thing That Makes Him Happy
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Foxes In Love @foxes-in-love.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, two cars are passing, a brown and a red car. The red comes to a screeching halt, braking hard to avoid hitting the brown one.
Green, inside the brown car: Watch out!!

Inside the brown car, Blue is driving, angry, as Green sits on the passenger seat, startled.
Green: That other car almost hit us!
Blue: They should be more careful. We had the right of way.

Now Green also frowns.
Green: They don't write it on your tombstone that you were right in the crash, you know.
Blue: They should.
Green: "Here lies Blue fox, who was righteous in traffic."
Blue: Sounds excellent.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 10/02/2025
Boston Dynamics Dog Unstoppable At Puppy Bowl theonion.com/super-b...
theonion.com
Boston Dynamics Dog Unstoppable At Puppy Bowl
GLENS FALLS, NY—Breaking its own record after scoring a touchdown to rack up its 600th point within the first quarter, the Boston Dynamics dog appeared unstoppable at the Puppy Bowl, sources confirmed Sunday. “It looks like Nacho is headed into the end zone, and—oh no, another brutal tackle from Spot, the robotic dog!” said game commentator Steve Levy, who clutched his head and winced as the gadget began emitting a high-pitched noise that caused the few still-standing puppies to crumple unconscious to the ground. “Oof, that’s gotta hurt! This is one dog that sure likes to play rough. It’ll be interesting to see what he does with the arm he’s protracting. Good God, Spot, no. That’s the referee! Run, everybody. Run for your lives!” At press time, the robotic dog was reportedly showboating with a victory dance on a pile of its opponents’ corpses.
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Tom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social · 07/02/2025
Nobody needs a Buffy reboot. Buffy is perfect left just as it was after seven seasons. What we need is a 1970s-set prequel centred around the mysterious misspent youth of Rupert Giles.
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onion person @junlper.beer · 04/02/2025
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Josh Mathews @vandalheart.bsky.social · 02/02/2025
My life in an image.
Meme of a guy standing in the corner of a room wearing a party hat saying “they don’t know they’re my reason for living” to two cats (one ginger one black)

And the cats replying “yes we do, you don’t seem like you’ve got a lot else going on”
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Adam Ellis @adamtots.bsky.social · 02/02/2025
🎮 (1/2)
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Adam Ellis @adamtots.bsky.social · 01/02/2025
😬
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onion person @junlper.beer · 26/01/2025
“remarkable proposal from a sitting president” and the remarkable proposal is ethnic cleansing
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The Sons of Liberty @sonsofliberty.bsky.social · 24/01/2025
✨🌈 The more you know 🌈✨
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𝔻𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕥 @thatsgoodweb.bsky.social · 23/01/2025
logging on
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The Onion @theonion.com · 22/01/2025
Trump Claims He Can Overrule Constitution With Executive Order Because Of Little-Known ‘No One Will Stop Me’ Loophole theonion.com/trump-c...
Trump Claims He Can Overrule Constitution With Executive Order Because Of Little-Known ‘No One Will Stop Me’ Loophole
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Zenobia Wisdom @zenobiawisdom.bsky.social · 22/01/2025
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The Onion @theonion.com · 13/01/2025
Like Boxes of Shit in Your House? Get a Cat
Like Boxes of Shit in Your House? Get a Cat
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zach @extrafabulous.bsky.social · 05/01/2025
Stern business man speaks into mic "i would like to make a statement"
zoom out to see he is wearing an electric green mini squirt and heels. legs look fabulous 
"i will not be answering questions"
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onion person @junlper.beer · 23/12/2024
me liking every positive post about luigi mangione that comes on my timeline
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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 19/12/2024
The New York Times, a publication I've worked for and love, recently published a guide on the best men's jeans. Included are $300 APCs and $50 stretch jeans from two different brands. I have a different view on how to find the perfect pair of jeans. So here's a thread. 🧵
Screenshot of The Wirecutter. The page recommends $295 APC jeans as the "best men's straight leg."Screenshot of The Wirecutter. The page recommends $50 Madwell jeans as the "best men's jeans for a modern take on a slim straight leg pair."
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