iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by maimonides nutz

Yossi @yossipossi.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

God appearing to Jonah: 🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟FISH TIME‼️‼️‼️‼️

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moominpapa.bsky.social @moominpapa.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

God getting in touch with Elijah: Pssst!

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Conspiracy theorists will be like “oh the Jews they’re controlling the weather, they’re teaching children degeneracy…” meanwhile we’re over here using our “powers” to bring back giant gumdrops.

EJP article screenshot:

BACK FROM THE DEAD
Sunkist says it will bring back beloved Fruit Gems after national outcry following eJP report
'We hear you, Sunkist Fruit Gems fans!' the company wrote, saying it had found a new manufacturer for the kosher synagogue staple

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

God appearing to Moses: BE NOT AFRAID God appearing to Jacob: you know what, you should be a little afraid, yeah , square up

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Selections from my 2024 Ecclesiastes Ch. 3 series

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Finally illustrated this idea like I’ve wanted to do since I posted this three years ago!! 🌿🖤

A woman who is covered in a splotchy nebula texture of blue, green, purple, and pink. She is leaning forward with her hands behind her slightly arched back. In her hands are a lulav (long rod made of three different tree branches), and an etrog (a fruit with an elongated and bumpy lemon shape/color).

Her leg is signed “M.Nutz”

Surrounding her in bold black handwriting is the quote: “Joy is a deep release of the soul, and it includes death and pain. Joy is any feeling fully felt, any experience we give our whole being to. We are conditioned to choose pleasure and to reject pain, but the truth is, any moment of our life fully inhabited…any immersion in the full depth of life, can be the source of deep joy.” — Rabbi Alan Lew

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

You versus the guy she tells you not to worry about

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Alright folks, what are we pelting our B’Mitzvahs with from now on? Wrong answers only…

New York Times headline: “Sunkist, Sunset: Fruit Gems, a Century-Old Candy, Are Discontinued
The jelly candies were a staple at bar and bat mitzvahs and other Jewish celebrations for generations.”

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I want to know why the Spanish began making cat tureens that carry so much despair and then why eBay resellers feel the need to add detail shots that further rob the poor things of their dignity???

A cat shaped tureen painted with yellow and blue details, with a simple yet completely agonized look on its face

A close up from the top of the head of the agonized cat tureen

Another agonized cat tureen, with blue and green flowers

The same blue and green agonized cat tureen where the lid has been taken off (with the agonized face) and placed next to its open body

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I got this vertebra necklace (for reasons) and then realized that I inadvertently got something that looks like a Star of David…can’t escape the Jewish I guess, it’s in the backbone of who I am 🙃

A close up of a pewter cast cervical vertebra on a chain, the pointy end is facing up. It has two rows of protrusions that form points in the middle, and one round protrusion at the bottom - so that it almost resembles a six pointed star.

An image of the torso of someone wearing the vertebra necklace from further away to better show its resemblance to a six pointed Star of David

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Rick | ירחמיאל @rickdeux.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

It's an excellent take.

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Yonatan @yonatans.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Such a great art piece!!!!

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Finally illustrated this idea like I’ve wanted to do since I posted this three years ago!! 🌿🖤

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I wanted to show y’all what I’m working on here first! It’s a Lilith amulet in the shape of a C1 (atlas) vertebra. My thought is that if you have something trapped in the bone where your head meets the rest of your body, it will be both the upper and lower limit of who you could be in the world

A cracked vertebra with a dark blob like figure in the middle. Both the figure and the vertebra are covered in Hebrew writing

A silver medallion with a loosely human blob in the middle. She is surrounded by Hebrew writing

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Jean-Paul Blartre: Mall Cop @oldpappythomas.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

this rules so hard

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I told my friend I had opened a new dating app account and was thinking of starting to meet people again and he asked why and I said “if you don’t walk through Sodom, you never find Lot”

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Jonah: God why did you send me to Nineveh if you were just going to redeem them anyways?? Waste of my time! I wish I was dead!! God:

Saturday Night Live weekend update screen capture of a man in glasses sitting at the desk, with the caption “Jonah you ignorant sl-t”

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Jean-Paul Blartre: Mall Cop @oldpappythomas.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

*Ben Wyatt voice* Jonah, it's about the COWS

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

One thing I love about the book of Jonah is that it just ends all of a sudden when God says “omg Jonah you are being such a brat, why don’t you think of the cows for once??”

Jonah 4:11

and should not I have pity on Nineveh, that great city, wherein are more than sixscore thousand persons that cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand, and also much cattle?

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

On Rosh Hashanah it is written, but on Yom Kippur it is Yaaaaasss!

Yaaaaasss! Yom Kippur Banner Jewish New Year Decor Rosh Hashanah
Party Supplies Jewish...
***I
16
$12.99

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Mattie Electric Air Line @mrbtx.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Yaaaaasss! Yom Kippur!

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 01/10/2025

Out: gmar chatima Tova In: Yaaaaasss! Yom Kippur

An Amazon listing of a glittery banner that says “Yom Kippur” the title of the banner is “Yaaaaasss! Yom Kippur Banner Jewish New Year Decor Rosh Hashanah Party Supplies Jewish...” in the top right corner it says “pre strung”
It costs 12.99

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

it took me way longer than I am proud of to realize that popular musical artist, Lenny Kravitz, was a different person from Rabbii Leonard Kravitz, a well known commentator on Jewish texts

the cover for "Pirke Avot: A modern commentary on jewish ethics" edited and translated by leonard kravitz and kerry m. olitzky (foreword by W. gunther plaut)

the cover for "Jonah: A modern commentary " translation and commentary by leonard s. kravitz and kerry m. olitzky

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Ok but charging a cancellation fee for the spiritually roughest day of the year is kind of wild?

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Who by fire and who by GRABBING THE STOVE GRATE SHE WAS JUST COOKING ON??? This is why I never cook. G'mar Chatima Tova! Hope you all avoid being personally victimized by God this year!!

A lipstick mark surrounded by text that reads “who by fire” in collage/ransom font

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Ladies if he's: Compassionate Gracious Slow to anger Abounding in lovingkindness and truth Maintaining lovingkindness for generations Forgiving premeditated sins, sins committed in rebellion, sins made by mistake That's not your man, that's the essence of God

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

If it comes to be this year, that after 25 hours of fasting/davening, I come out of Ne’ilah and step off the curb and I am promptly struck by a Waymo — as long as one of you heard Avinu Malkeinu and thought “the Jews are bratting hard….” it will be as if I had been written into The Book of Life.

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

R’Nachman: a man should not walk behind a woman on a path or bridge…and especially not in a river! R’Yohanan: better to walk behind a lion tbh, except in the case of idolatry! R’Yirmeya: remember when Lilith stole Adam’s semen? Crazy right? Rabbis: R’Yirmeya: also don’t praise someone too much.

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Jews who copy and paste שנה טובה from the internet are valid

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

HELP I ACTUALLY DO WANT TO GET UP BUT THIS COUPLE IS HOVERING RIGHT OUTSIDE THE BOOTH WHERE I'M SITTING AND THEY KEEP LOOKING OVER AT ME AND I'M TOO PETTY TO GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT!!! (which is what I want too 😭)

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

If rabbis said “after the ceremony, you will be alone in a room, and it is recommended that you fuck.Some couples recreate past sexual experiences, some try new ones. Why don’t you write down your favorite three times your partner made you cum” we wouldn’t be so worried about continuity, just saying

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

I told my friend that the words to Avinu Malkeinu were basically “Our Father, our King, be gracious to us and answer us, though we have no good deeds. Deal with us in righteousness and kindness, and save us,” and he said “oh so the Jews are bratting HARD”

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

I’m up to averaging over one canon moment a month. Which would be cool if my writers weren’t so cynical. I’m not sure what they’re doing…they better give me a filler episode soon or I’m going off script.

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

The notification that flashed across the sky after the High Priest entered the Holy of Holies on Yom Kippur

TIME SENSITIVE
Your driver is on the way
Hashem (4.97 stars) is arriving in 4 minutes.

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Absolutely losing it at this DMV review I found

San Francisco DMV
3.2 stars
(1.4K)
Department of motor vehicles • 1377 Fell St
Open • Closes 5 PM
"Don't waste your time here."

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Truly my peak. I need to bring her back

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

Reish Lakish looking at Rav Yohanan in the river: why can’t I find a woman like this ugh Rav Yohanan: hi Reish Lakish: no Rav Yohanan: I’m literally the guy in the river

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Look either the medical appointments stop or one of them finally finds something that qualifies me for MAiD I am so serious

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

I remain the patron saint of the most ludicrous miracles that happen at the most terminal moments

Text from Instagram story that says “Things have been rough as of late, but as it turns out, my guardian angel is Absurdity, and she has not left me yet”

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Jesse Lansner @jesse.lansner.com · 19/08/2026

Siri doesn’t understand the concept of “the shul I don’t go to”.

Siri Suggestions
Congregation B'nai Jacob
You're nearby

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Maladroithe @maladroithe.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

I find the absurdist fables of the Talmud so compelling and strangely comforting because its authors clearly understood that Torah must be resilient and supple enough to meet and inform even the most ludicrous realities, that the pickles and shenanigans of the future would defy our very senses

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

I’m a “non-observant Jew” in that I have gone to services every week for the last three years but I only just realized that they keep changing the tune of Lecha Dodi

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maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Advil/Tylenol bottle: Only take one on the eve of a new moon. If you even think about this drug at other times, your liver will explode! Ask a doctor for more tips😊 The doctor: right so you’re going to measure half of each bottle into a cocktail shaker and then pour the whole thing into your mouth.

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