Reposted by Kristen MulrooneyMichael F @michaelf617.bsky.social · 22/05/2026I see now that subconsciously, I have up writing because something inside of me know I would never come up with anything this wonderful 121
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 22/05/2026I have written about something that is deeply important to me. 1285
Reposted by Kristen MulrooneyMattsket Case @mjmontgomery.bsky.social · 06/02/2026This is brilliant. My lovely wife watched The Shining for the first time and afterwards had a lot to say about Wendy's role and all the expectations of her as a wife and mother. This article is such a fun way to explore that theme. 051
Reposted by Kristen MulrooneyMcSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 03/02/2026Two little girls stood in the doorway. “Come play,” one of the girls said. “I’m making lunch,” Wendy whispered. “We want you to play,” the girl said. They stared at Wendy. Unblinking. Evil. “Can we have a snack?” they asked in unison. “I’m literally making lunch!”buff.lyStephen King’s The Shining, If the Hotel Had Possessed Wendy Instead of JackWendy lit the stove to heat a pot of tomato soup. She turned to grab a wooden spoon and gasped. Two little girls in smocked dresses stood in the do... 110120
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 03/02/2026In @mcsweeneys.net today riffing on one of the bests by one of the bests www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ste...mcsweeneys.netStephen King’s The Shining, If the Hotel Had Possessed Wendy Instead of JackWendy lit the stove to heat a pot of tomato soup. She turned to grab a wooden spoon and gasped. Two little girls in smocked dresses stood in the do... 021
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 30/10/2025People assume I'm a writer because I have something important to say but really I just love buying new office supplies. 2130
Reposted by Kristen MulrooneyThe Belladonna Comedy @belladonnacomedy.bsky.social · 30/10/2025Congrats to our own @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social for landing in @lukevburns.bsky.social & @jamesfolta.com ‘s newsletter this week 👰🏻♀️! www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/our...mcsweeneys.netOur Wedding Gifts: Ten Years LaterTwenty-four crystal champagne flutes: I love entertaining, so these beautiful champagne flutes are a must-have for the elegant sit-down dinner part... 171
Reposted by Kristen MulrooneyDavid Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 30/10/2025Starting to worry that the Dodgers didn't spend enough. 4443224
Reposted by Kristen Mulrooneygirl fieri @laureneahmed.bsky.social · 30/10/2025I particularly enjoyed this piece by @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social as someone whose 4yo loves dance and is ALREADY being recruited to the pre-competition team (link in replies) 2171
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 29/10/2025This morning at 6:58am my son bottle flipped an entire jug of orange juice and it was somewhere around mid flip that he realized the cap was not on. 3221
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 28/10/2025We had a different version of October Kiké but both versions are correct. 030
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 28/10/2025Texted my husband with my scheme for getting all three of our kids out of school, to the dentist, fed, and off to three different sports by 5:00pm and he responded "Ocean's Five," and honestly yes. 0231
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 28/10/2025Kids are in disbelief at rumors that one of the schools in town banned ALL memes. They can't say 6-7, 41, OR 21. Cruel and unusual, absolutely egregious. 2100
Reposted by Kristen MulrooneyLuke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 28/10/2025If you have home plate seats at the World Series and they catch your ass dinking around on your phone back there a big claw game thing should come down and pluck you up and out by the head. 231209110
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 27/10/2025Found a screenshot of me making a great point, yes the group chat is called Cunty Little Babies but just move past that 0202
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 27/10/2025I have made an instructional video for the people wondering how it's possible for a short wife/tall husband couple to do this. 190
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 26/10/2025If you're a person I know in real life, it will take about 7 years for me to let my guard down and become friends with you. If you're a person who gets on the elevator with me, we will form an unbreakable bond by the time we reach the 6th floor. 1100
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 25/10/2025My son wants to know why nobody has invented 3D glasses for real life yet? It would be really cool if the whole world was in 3D, he says. Nobody steal this idea! 5340
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 24/10/2025Reasons the woman sitting next to me in the coffee shop hates her son's girlfriend: - "has celiac" - wore a glittery dress to homecoming and got glitter in the car - "looks sexual" 1110
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 24/10/2025We're going to the basketball courts this weekend to determine if my claim that I can sink a half court shot with 5% accuracy is correct. 040
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 24/10/2025Google: "You have to buy more storage. Your storage is full because of the 200,000 photos you have saved. So you have to buy more." Me: Deletes 199,900 photos. Google: "What. No. That didn't- that didn't help. It's still full." 6789
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 22/10/2025Last night Matt tried to kiss me, and I pick-and-rolled past him and ran for a pretend layup. Could tell by the look on his face that he's starting to worry I might be right about this, or maybe is thinking about divorcing me. 2170
Reposted by Kristen MulrooneyMcSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 22/10/2025HIS AND HERS COFFEE MUGS: They're among the dozens of other broken-handled coffee mugs that remain in the dishwasher at all times.buff.lyOur Wedding Gifts: Ten Years LaterTwenty-four crystal champagne flutes: I love entertaining, so these beautiful champagne flutes are a must-have for the elegant sit-down dinner part... 1325
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 22/10/2025I wrote a Where Are They Now? about my wedding gifts, ten years after the wedding for @mcsweeneys.net. ZOODLES?? www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/our...mcsweeneys.netOur Wedding Gifts: Ten Years LaterTwenty-four crystal champagne flutes: I love entertaining, so these beautiful champagne flutes are a must-have for the elegant sit-down dinner part... 3383
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 21/10/2025I love a Game 7 and that was such a GOOD Game 7 060
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 21/10/2025I actually think Kristen Bell outsang Idina Menzel in Frozen. This is, of course, off the record. 3240
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 20/10/2025Currently fighting with all my friends and family and colleagues 260
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 20/10/2025Went off about how baseball is the hardest sport because I could try the rest of my life to hit a fastball from an MLB pitcher and never do it, but I could definitely score on Lebron one on one, and apparently the man who married me doesn't think I could score on Lebron so now we're fighting. 3221
Reposted by Kristen MulrooneySarah Sweeney @heysweeney.bsky.social · 16/10/2025This is the story of the part-time assistant job that became a 15-year friendship—and a lesson in love. Read my Vogue debut on what would’ve been Angie’s 100th birthday. www.vogue.com/article/my-t... vogue.comMy Time With Angela LansburyIn honor of Angela Lansbury’s centennial, the star’s former assistant recalls a part-time job that blossomed into a 15-year friendship. 78125
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 19/10/2025My daughter leaned in close to my face for what I thought was a kiss, but she was actually just trying to smell my breath to find out what I was eating in case she wanted some. 2201
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 18/10/2025You'd think that my house would be cleaner now that my dog is gone but it's actually more disgusting because none of us understand yet that if you drop food on the floor you have to clean it up. 0180
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 18/10/2025Every day feels like it's my husband's first day living in our house. What do you mean where do we keep the dish towels?? 4331
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 18/10/2025Meteorological fact: No matter how cold it is, for example 46° right now, it is 80° at the soccer field. 3100
Reposted by Kristen MulrooneySarah Langs @slangsonsports.bsky.social · 17/10/2025Teams to take a 3-0 lead in any best-of-seven postseason series have gone on to win the series 40 of 41 times (97.6%), including 31 sweeps The only team to come all the way back after losing Games 1-3 was the 2004 Red Sox, in the ALCS against the Yankees 11908
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 17/10/2025I did a bit at a comedy show about how the reason I got into comedy is because my dad died when I was a teenager, and then after the show roughly 40% of the other performers came up to me and said "Hey my dad died when I was a teenager too!" which is objectively the funniest punchline to that bit. 4240
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 17/10/2025Today I have to do the scariest thing a person can do (read a book to my daughter's kindergarten class) 3230
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 16/10/2025I honestly love the youths. Last night our babysitter was leaving at 9:30pm and she said she had to go home and work on her college app that's due October 15th. I said "WAIT THAT'S TODAY" and she said so calmly "Yeah I have until 11:59pm." 2203
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 16/10/2025"Storming through the party like my name was El Niño" Ok well actually El Niño isn't so much a storm as it is a climate pattern 150
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 16/10/2025Reached a pivotal milestone with my middle schooler this morning: it is 32° and when he left for the bus stop he said "I don't really like coats" and left without one. 1190
Reposted by Kristen Mulrooneylittle lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 14/10/2025Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him 1773261326
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 15/10/2025Yesterday morning I told @clhubes.bsky.social we were putting Buster down and she immediately DoorDashed us a dozen donuts and it was truly the world's greatest gift. We were so sad but afterward it was like well... should we have a donut? The kids came home from school and cried but then... donut? 2400
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 15/10/2025My dog died yesterday morning and I can already tell you that not having a dog is so lonely, like I'm expected to just get up and walk to the fridge for a drink and then walk back to the couch BY MYSELF? Nobody's coming with me?? 5270
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 13/10/2025My biggest self-gaslight is when I'm alone and unencumbered at the airport and I see someone with their little kids and think to myself "I wish MY kids were here 🥺" 1150
Reposted by Kristen Mulrooneychira 🎋 @artofchira.bsky.social · 01/06/2025whenever i encounter people who say they can't understand shakespeare verses I always send them this clip from the 2019 Shakespeare in the Park production of Much Ado About Nothing 13577362648
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 09/10/2025My toxic trait is I buy the airplane cookies at the store with my own money. 4280
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 09/10/2025Yankees were a pleasure to hate watch this week 🙏🏻 040
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 09/10/2025Is an eldest daughter when the first-born child is a daughter or is it the first daughter of the siblings regardless of where she is in the birth order 880
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 08/10/2025Trying to explain to my 8-year-old gymnast that I can't do chin ups is so embarrassing. She's like "just pull yourself up?" and I'm like "I can't" and she's like "but just do it? Over and over again?" 3182
Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 08/10/2025Was searching my Twitter profile for something I once said about bananas and am honestly astonished by how frequently I used to tweet about bananas. 090
