iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 1h

My plant cells are contaminated, my coworker's plant cells are contaminated, my coworker's algae is contaminated, every fucking thing is contaminated. It turns out the entire biosafety cabinet is probably contaminated.

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 18h

I haven't been hiking in ages but stopped at my favorite park today just to look at the trees. I had to get away from some disrespectful people throwing rocks in the creek and accidentally ended up hiking for an hour in street clothes. Not even strenuous despite the heat and no technical fabrics!

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 22h

Interesting how all MY friends have normal 9-5 jobs that prevent them from joining me in unemployed behavior like going to the pumpkin farm on a Thursday morning, yet the small town grocery store that's usually empty was disgustingly full of annoying people today. What do YOU people do for work?!

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I had to ask my PCP after my appointment to order blood tests because she didn't think of it. Did my tests. She sent me a message saying I had no STIs. Did not address that my cholesterol is bad and I have some stuff that either means my kidneys are weird or I was dehydrated.

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

I live in an ADU attached to a house with where three children live. Since late September, every single night they have had at least one outburst where they run around the house loudly making ghost noises for at least ten minutes and I'm just like "Same."

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

New ketamine prescriber said 900 mg is way too dangerous. I've been on that for two years. Am I going to die? Then she asked if I was married because someone with the same last name recently came in asking for super high doses too. Maybe people of my bloodline are resistant!

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Reposted by Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️

elicia @elicia.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Here's a spray bottle I drew once.

a little spray bottle with a blue nozzle in the sunlight

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I asked our new lab member to add her birthday to the lab birthday cake spreadsheet and when I went and looked at it she had listed her birthday as "9/11 (yeah)".

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I kept a contaminated petri dish of liquid at my desk, right where I eat my breakfast, just to see what would happen. You'll never guess what happened.

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Can I post something extremely gross? I am allergic to bandage adhesive so I switched to hydrocolloid bandages to keep my shaved off mole wound moist. Every time I remove it to change it, it's the wettest thing I have ever seen. It's not pus or lymph or blood. It's just wet.

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I would have been so into bloodletting if I were alive in the 19th century.

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Reposted by Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️

tinybaby @tiny.baby · 05/10/2026

i changed my mind. i do want you to make an AI video of me if i get killed but instead of forgiving my killer i should make some violent threats against several celebrities

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

The bad news is my cholesterol levels are bad again. The good news is my glucose levels are perfect as always. This means I will convince myself it's okay to live on nothing but low fat, high sugar foods. I will be embarking on an all gummy candy diet starting today.

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Reposted by Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️

Kate Hagen's House of Horrors 👻 @thathagengrrl.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I've been wondering what's actually up here for a while + you're not going to believe this but the answer is, once again, private equity. www.avclub.com/shout-factor...

avclub.com

Shout! Factory put old "lost" TV directly into fans' hands—until one day it didn't

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Yesterday for ten minutes I tried to post a heartfelt post about how deeply I love Dracula to the extent it causes me genuine sorrow that Bram Stoker is dead and I can't talk to him about it, but this piece of shit app wouldn't post it. But of course it posts this!

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Count Fuckula just moved to Carfucks Abbey.

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Reposted by Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️

beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Three panel comic. Panel 1: underwater ocean camera view of a whale fall on the sea floor, with various bottom feeders and weird fishes crawling around the decomposing remains. Off panel, someone says, “hang on a second…” Panel 2: the speaker is a member of a marine biologist crew, remotely viewing the video footage from a computer monitor. The biologist is leaning against his colleague’s chair. He continues, “pan the camera back.” Panel 3: Back underwater, the POV shifts to the other end of the whale carcass. There’s a large spider crab with a standing just off to the side. It has a human face in a neutral expression, and is wearing glasses. The marine biologist says, “I think I went to high school with that guy.”

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Abraham Van Helsing be like,,, "Friend John"

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Walked into my appointment with green hair, green shirt, green water bottle, green hair clips on my lanyard and they asked if green was my favorite color and I said "What?"

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Ten years of doctors in three different health systems brushing me off every time I asked about my bleeding mole and I go to a Stanford dermatologist ONCE and he says yes it doesn't seem to be cancer but he can cut it off for me in 5 minutes and send it for a biopsy if I want!!

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Reposted by Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️

Pinball Flyers @pinballflyers.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Mousin' Around (Williams, 1989)

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

My dad sent me a Facebook Reel at 8 am about someone getting their purse stolen at my favorite cemetery. Can I rest??

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Today my new coworker, on her very first day, suggested Primetime when we were trying to think of currently relevant subjects for Halloween group costumes. Thank you for participating but I don't think we will do the controversial pedophile entrapment reality show!

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

My boss: You've all seen The Odyssey?? Maybe we could watch it together. Me: It's like three hours long... My coworker: LET'S WATCH O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU. KENNA WILL BACK ME UP!! My boss: Isn't that really old? Me: It's like 25 years old... My boss: That's really old.

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Reposted by Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️

Seeping Ooze (18+) @seepingooze.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Goth Bimbo Heathcliff #175 Head (mon/tue/thurs/fri)

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Reposted by Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️

beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Two panel comic. Panel 1: a bat hangs upside-down from a telephone line at sunset. The bat is in front of a billboard advertising the Florida Mega Jackpot, which is valued at $5,318,008 - represented with a digital ticker. Panel 2: the POV flips to the bat’s upside-down perspective, which makes the digital numbers look like they spell “BOOBIES”. The bat appears delighted.

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

There's a chemical I use all the time that I need today that is just missing from the shelves today. It was low the last time I used it. Did someone empty it and just not reorder it or not tell me to reorder it? Do they know I could just kill myself in front of them?

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Reposted by Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️

ceej @ceej.online · 27/09/2026

watching horror movies as a flashlight guy and just shaking my head whenever the protagonists struggle through a dark room

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Reposted by Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️

Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 10/10/2023

About to get thrown out of here for obvious reasons

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Reposted by Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️

Microplastics Sommelier @leastactionhero.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

i bring an iced coffee to the interview. only it’s not for me, it’s for the interviewer. and it’s laced with a sedative. when she comes to, she’s wearing my clothes and i’m in her office. her car keys don’t work. i’m with her husband. her kids don’t recognize her. coming soon from A24.

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

You were working at a COVID conscious lesbian bar when I met you.

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I had a dream a baby bunny bit my hand and I spent the rest of the dream trying to find out if I needed to get a rabies shot. In the dream my friend gave me a birthday present and I was like "This is very nice but I think I have rabies now."

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Me: I only ever watched one episode of Glee, you can probably guess which one. My friend: The school shooting one? Me: Why would you guess that?! It was the Rocky Horror one!

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

My therapist said "I made a note to talk about masking." Is that good.

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

My OCD therapy has always been focused on getting me to stop looking at horrible things like gore but today my therapist asked me if I ever get obsessed with non-morbid things and then I remembered that Lexapro cured me of fandom behavior back in 2022.

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

One of the neighboring labs has his 30th birthday poster up on their corkboard and half the time I pass it my brain goes "TURNS 30. DIES." like an old 00s "advice animal" meme.

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Lucy Westenra repeatedly getting refilled with caring men's blood every time Dracula drains her is so hot. God I wish that was me.

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Reposted by Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️

Kevin Snow @bravemule.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

they sent Pikachu to space without a plan to return. June 17th was when he ran out of oxygen. Goodbye brave rodent 🫡

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Nonbinary coworker sending a photo of a tarantula to the group chat at 10:30 pm.

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Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️ @kenrar.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I just painted my nails and left my door unlocked, now I need one of my beautiful followers to come hold an ice cream sandwich in front of my mouth so I can eat it without fucking up my topcoat.

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Reposted by Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️

shaunt @shaunvids.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

*gripping a usb hard drive and pretending to wrestle with it* guys help i got skynet trapped in here. bail me out quick

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Reposted by Abraham Ken Helsing 🧛‍♂️

THE FAR SIDE DAILY @bot.cowtools.org · 18/09/2026

Fire is invented.

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