iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 8h

I had a nice healthy lunch prepared but I wanted mac and cheese so I made mac and cheese for lunch instead. I am a grown up and I am allowed to do this

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 8h

if you built a baboon out of bamboo it would be called a bamboon

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 8h

Saw this on the internet today and I thought it was funny. That is all.

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✧𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧ @altaudge.bsky.social · 10h

fish are friends

Stop using anti-fish language
Instead of: this seems fishy
Try saying:
this seems like a situation in which we should consult the wisdom and grace of the European seabass, a species with which i would entrust my entire life and personal safety

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Nobody can afford to live, you dumb bitch. That’s the fucking story

C-SPAN
CSPAN
@cspan• 1d
Former President Obama says Democrats made a mistake by making goals materialistic and instrumental: "What people are starved for at the moment is the ability to tell a moral and ethical story about how we live together in this moment."

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I like walking around my neighborhood and hearing everyone yell at the Bears on the tv

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⚢brynn🐾 @huntryoshi.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

That’s horrible and dumb. The thinking man’s boner pill is Intellifuck.

Gas station boner pill featuring a tiger fucking a rhino on the savanna, with a spectral image of Albert Einstein in the background. The packaging reads:

INTELLFUCK

Increase sex drive and IQ simultaneously!
REAL PROVEN RESULTS!
INCREASES:
•Spatial Awareness
•Fuck Speed
•Deductive Reasoning
•Fuck Time

NO HEADACHE! NO DIARRHEA! NO BONE ROT!

18 and Under:
Ask Parents Before Consuming

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Malevolent Maelstrom @chemicalchaos.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The american goverment is literally a cabal of convicted sex abusers but clearly we are oppressing rapists too hard

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

This is in my top ten or even top five favorite albums, it’s absolute perfection

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

“your cat yearns for being outside” my cat yearns for eating plastic bags and i deprive him of that part of his true nature he’s also scared to death of being outside

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

25 years ago you couldn’t find country on the radio in northern Minnesota/Wisconsin or the UP, I drove in that area a lot for work and wouldn’t find any country stations, some areas you would only find polka or metal. I was there more recently and everyone was playing that Nashville garbage

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Sometime in the past 5 or so years, actors have become aware of the non-chicago accent of the upper midwest with the vowel shift and decided it applies to the entire midwest and they overdo the fuck out of it, and I wish they would go back to not trying

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Jesus Lizard Superstar 🖤 🐀🐀🐀 @acekatana.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

While you guys are choosin Texas I’m choosin Robert Mueller and the rule of law

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

If you put any one of these creeps in a wet paper bag and closed it up they would be incapable of escaping

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

In 1992, the Boyz II Men song “End of the Road” spent 13 weeks at #1 on the charts, breaking the previous record set by the Olivia Newton John song “Physical”, which spent 10 weeks at #1. MTV did a “person on the street” interview with a bunch of people and the vast majority never head either song.

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

In a better world, the longest running #1 hit in history at 2076 weeks would be Hamburger Martyr by Killdozer, and the millions of fans devoted to this song would all be card-carrying communists

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Chicago White Sox @notwhitesox.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

"The Tamale Guy" delivered tonight's game ball in celebration of Hispanic Heritage Night!

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

The fact that Watchmen is on this list at all makes this entire list complete horseshit, so there’s no reason to look at the rest of this and critique it. your opinion is completely valid compared to the goobers who wrote this.

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Something seems incredibly perverse about taking a shit at a wedding and I do not know why

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Our senators from solid blue Illinois are two of the most useless wet bitches in that decaying institution and this one will be running unopposed in the primaries for the next 3 decades just like fucking Durbin

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I want to crush all of these in a hydraulic press and hear all those fuzzy little white ai bastards squeal in agony

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I knew he’d eventually get into hacking his cum

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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 23/09/2026

uncanny valley ranch

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 01/02/2024

I’m getting tired of all these tv shows about the end of civilization. Can we get some shows about the start of civilization? Characters dealing with domestication of yaks, figuring out how to plant turnips and einkorn, shit like that

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

pretty sure there’s a guy who exists who thinks bisexual means doing two chicks at the same time

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

This will crash the world economy but it won’t lower the price of diesel

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 10/08/2024

"Oh don't mind Marmustaine, he's just in a bad mood because Kirk Hammet stole everything from him"

Marmistaine, it’s marmaduke with a dave mustaine haircut

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Kasey Gifford @kaseygifford.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

This is my new favorite thing.

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

The backing music really should a been dire straits

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I was remembering when dorks were putting those “I did that” biden stickers on gas pumps when the price was 3 bucks a gallon

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I am having fart that make god regret his creation

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Horatio Pornviewer @stuntbirdarmy.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Clavicular is the one guy we should have used minority report pre-crime shit on, we all knew where this was headed

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Sure gas might be 5 bucks a gallon and diesel might be 7 bucks a gallon but let’s put things in perspective here when LSD is 120,000 bucks a gallon

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Sure gas might be 5 bucks a gallon and diesel might be 7 bucks a gallon but let’s put things in perspective here when LSD is 120,000 bucks a gallon

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Uncle Owen should have recognized the robot that was in his house for 10 years when he bought c-3po from the jawas

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K.B. Spangler @kbspangler.com · 18/09/2026

*smashes bottle against table* STOP STEALING OUR GOOGLY EYES AND USING THEM TO PRETEND YOU MADE GOD

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 09/12/2023

If trans women aren’t real women then how come they take two slightly different selfies and put them in the same post? Terfs are so fuckin dumb

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

“I can’t get hired as an auctioneer” is the funniest case of job discrimination you could come up with

Det. Andy Sipowicz
@sipowicz1042.bsky.social
Joined Nov '24
Stuttering people face discrimination every day. Do you think I could get hired as an auctioneer? Definitely not. Do you think it's easy being required to take a public speaking class for an accounting degree? But we don't bitch about it, we move on and don't insist on changing the rules
10:39 AM • Sep 21, 2026

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Lupita Nihongo @otsumamiboy.blacksky.app · 21/09/2026

A mocked up FBI wanted poster with six variations of Bugs Bunny dressed as hilarious women

Left to right:
Classic housewife bugs bunny in a peach dress with French curls and a blue bonnet

Sexy snow bunny bugs bunny in a form fitting yellow ski suit & red lipstick

Classy rocket bra bugs bunny in a pink blouse and a choker and red heels and a blue skirt

Green nightgown bugs bunny looking alluring

Cavewoman bugs bunny in an orange tattered one piece slip making a come hither expression

Flapper bugs bunny in a red dance outfit and a big bowler hat

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log̷o, respawned dad @loxophile.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

I must have beer. Beer is the mind chiller. Beer is the foamy drink that brings total relaxation. I will pour my Beer. I will allow it to flow into me and through me. And when I piss it away, only I will remain.

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Matt the Dad Dude @undefeatedmatt.wifeguy.online · 20/09/2026

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Jimmy Two Hands (summerjimbo era) @jimmytwohands.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

clearing some leftovers out the fridge so I’m going in on beans on toast, wish me luck

Three pieces of toast that are small because they’re from the end of the loaf, and they got baked beans on them

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