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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿

@jade.is.vgay.fyi
1.6K followers 713 following 22K posts

physics phd student -:- she/her 📡 age = current year (im 2000 years old) chahta sia hoke! chi hollo li @addie.is.vgay.fyi 🥰

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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 5h
i literally have yet to have a dream this year not involving a women’s bathroom that is also a literal maze with too-small stall doors
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Lich Queen Bingus, of the Old Chicago Ruins @bingus.ough.club · 5h
ive reached a point where im uncomfy using *either* bathroom lmao
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addie @addie.is.vgay.fyi · 5h
in tomodachi life we made miley cyrus AND hannah montana and we're hoping they become enemies and hate each other
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 5h
looking at bella thorne’s wikipedia page just thinking i wonder what she’s up to and i found out she’s been directing films and the first one she did was a porn film that won awards hellllll yeag and it seems like the rest aren’t porn. sounds like she’s doin good
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 6h
addie and i are gonna make dnd characters and im gonna make a little adventure for them to go on 🥺
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 6h
the dsm is proud to announce a partnership with pepsi for their soda. it will make you mentally ill.
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 21h
the other day mabel bopped me in the eye so hard that i genuinely saw beetlemoses’ new color it looked exactly the same
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Gavadon @gavadon.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I skipped high school to buy tickets for The Phantom Menace. The following day my Dad asked ," how was school?" I replied, " It was fine " He then threw this newspaper at me and asked , " how the fuck would you know?" He was so pleased with himself that I didn't actually get in trouble.
Newspaper where I am on the front page, in line for Star Wars tickets , having given the reporter my full government name Closeup of the photo from the Newspaper where I am on the front page, in line for Star Wars tickets , having given the reporter my full government name .

As one pal put it, " a very John Conner look "Closeup of the text for the photo that says 

" Ticket wars

Left: The line of area residents waitinng for advanced ticket sales for the May 19 release of "Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace" stretched outside the Grand Central Mall's Regal Cinemas onto the sidewalk outside. Above: Inside, Jordan Baker, Joe Peyton, Mat Lyons, Josh Lemley and Steve Roberts passed time by playing Star Wars Trivial Pursuit as they awaited the Lucas epic.

Photos by Tony Kemp
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 04/10/2026
when your number of unread emails is a year that people u know were born in: 😎
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
i love that we think of “photoshopped” as the original word for faking a photograph instead of “faked”
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lumberjack wharfie @lumberjackwharfie.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
who you gonna caalllll, the martini poliiice?
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
ohhhhhh and in response to what u whispered in my ear i must admit sometimesssss
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
its opposite day today starting in 3…2…1…
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
my biggest strength? my strong interpersonal relationship with rivers cuomo (lifts shirt to show extremely photorealistic tattoo covering my entire torso of me and rivers arm wrestling and grinning at the viewer. our heads are tattooed on my big hangers)
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
russian sleeper agent but they programmed me wrong so when you say my activation phrase i get really sleepy and change into my pjs
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
i love when u drink 1/4 of a coffee and immediately ur colon is like It’s Time
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
a bag full of scum kinda sounds fun idk
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sabrina, ghastly cyberdoll @unwisewoman.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
"i would get my hormone advice, if i was a transgender woman, look its this simple, if you're, " *switches to exasperated tone* "IFIWASATRANSGENDERWOMANWHONEEDEDHELPWITHMYHORMONES, ID TRUST SOMEONE NAMED KATIE TIGHTPUSSY TO WRITE A GUIDE ABOUT HOW TO MAKE MY PUSSY TIGHT. OKAY?"
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francis @dilfkink.kindboys.online · 03/10/2026
i love my country🏳️‍⚧️💉 pghrt.diy
screenshot of a northernlion stream that has a chatter linking pghrt.diy
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🕸️ @holojester.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
aesops gay balls
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skeeter devilpenis @guypussy.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
gay balls gay balls gay balls gay balls
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may @maysuser.name · 03/10/2026
if an artist being outed for doing something fucked tarnishes your ability to enjoy their work the only person you have to be mad at is that artist for doing that thing in the first place
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
phlight control
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Katie Tightpussy, Editor-In-Chief @katie.bzky.team · 03/10/2026
girl who gets bottom surgery on 9/11 out of solidarity to commemorate another tower falling.
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worm @rfksbrainworm.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
If you ever wondered why visible light is those particular wavelengths, it's because life evolved to see in the narrow range where water is transparent
Diagram of absorption of emf by water. There's a gap right that dips in the 500 nm range
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
the hardest thing for me at this job is probably gonna be making sure i have sex with everyone
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
oh, my biggest weakness? i’m AGP. strength? (stands up and starts to bend over and reach for my tits, interviewer cuts me off and asks me to leave)
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
my biggest strength is my massive following online. have you ever heard of kiwifarms
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addie @addie.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
my greatest weakness? i can't stop swatting livesteamers on the internet
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addie @addie.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
me when i'm graham linehan
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addie @addie.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
if you don't hire me dw you'll know soon!
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
(job interview) oh my biggest weakness? probably the fact that i’m male socializ— (sniper kills me)
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 03/10/2026
xbox 720
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Transphobes Can't Read @lordaslan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
gn
Repost this if trans people should have access to dark magic...
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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
jootball?
a photo of a denim covered football
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 02/10/2026
meow 🫵
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Brady! @like-the-bunch.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
the fourth state of Katie is, of course, plasma.
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 02/10/2026
ask not for whom the rock cooketh
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☭☠️ Dwarven King Sandbeard's Ghost ☠️☭ @thesandinator.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
hark! what doth mine own nostrils detect? o, Rock, art thou in the midst of thy cookery?
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Brick @lopbrick.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Loaf mode activated! 🐇🧱 #cuteanimals #pets #rabbits
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 02/10/2026
evil genius supervillain blows an eyelash wish in a room covered in bright white paper, laughs maniacally, scrambles embarrassingly to find the eyelash on the floor, and repeats for infinite wishes
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 02/10/2026
when ppl write my name in cursive ig kinda looks like jack and i think thats so funny
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 02/10/2026
yk instead of making a depth-first thread i could’ve just quoted the top post every time i wanted to add something and that way i could delete entries without ruining the structure
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sean pagliacci aka doctor dog with a gun @ghosthardware05.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
youtu.be/sHphVx58Lvw?...
youtu.be
The Furniture Store Las Vegas 1999
YouTube video by GrowinupinSincity81
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sean pagliacci aka doctor dog with a gun @ghosthardware05.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
there was a commercial that used to play here that said "who loves ya baby? the furniture store does, that's who" the furniture store is the only thing that loves me
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 02/10/2026
thread of songs that make me say yoooooooo when they come on
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Tim Carmody @tcarmody.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
This is the funniest thing I've seen today, possibly ever
A tweet by SarahStarberry that says "oh god read the vertical axis" on top of a chart measuring AI models' release dates and model numbers rather than any real capabilities
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Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 02/10/2026
Ground Effect xkcd.com/3305/
Comic. [Two people flailing high in the air. Three people on the ground running ahead of them. Arrows and a dotted line indicate that this second group is within roughly one body length of the surface.] [caption] The “ground effect” explains why sprinters can run most efficiently if they stay within roughly one body length of the surface.
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jade “the rock” johnson 🗿 @jade.is.vgay.fyi · 02/10/2026
do we think my lvl 7 monk should multi class into fighter ranger or rogue or jokingly multiclass into monk
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Puff 🇵🇸🏳️‍🌈 @puffyapple.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
aroused
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