DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Just got home from the dentist. I got two fillings. At one point the drilling had been going on long enough that I thought any moment they would give me a stack of dishes to dry with a linty towel because clearly I had died and was in hell. Also, Xanax doesn’t work all that well. 000
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I dreamed I told Jose Ramirez I love him and then he hit an RBI single. 120
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Stop trying to make elevators fancy. Elevator doesn't need an iPad 000
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 24/09/2026I hate it when you go into a conference room after someone and it smells like teeth. 010
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 19/09/2026So unsettling to get into an elevator and there’s already some in there but they’re just standing there with no floor selected 010
Reposted by DanDanDanny Page @danny.page · 17/09/2026God bless @atherton.bsky.social for this succinct wisdom 273859898
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Today, for the first time, I used a power washer. This device was—in the literal sense—awesome. It inspired awe. 110
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 30/08/2026The bank has a sign, "Personalized financial advice from JP Morgan." Makes it sound like ol'John Pierpont himself is going to give me tips 000
Reposted by DanDanMicah @rincewind.run · 06/08/2026as a kid I liked math and thought I was good at it and then I got to college and learned that real math is contemptuous of numbers and it confuses and terrifies me 641709106
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 05/08/2026Nice. I got $7.31 from a Facebook class action. Thanks for the coffee, Zuckz 000
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 01/08/2026When I die, mix my ashes with ketchup and squirt them on the ivy at Wrigley Field 000
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 13/07/2026Why am I fine with openly peeing at the urinal, but lock the stall to pee alone? 000
Reposted by DanDananti-zionist dog 🇵🇸 @puppydoggaming.bsky.social · 12/07/2026i will say lindsey graham being asked by a reporter how mitch mcconnell is doing, answering “i don’t know, i’m going to check right now” and then dying is hilarious 246183824026
Reposted by DanDanDanielle Froom 🏳️🌈 @danifroom.bsky.social · 12/07/2026Look at my opposition party, dawg, I'm gonna die in a camp 214027
Reposted by DanDanLuke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 12/07/2026As a US politician you can routinely call for, and use your considerable power to vote for and agitate for the deaths of tens of thousands of innocent people around the world and it doesn't count as killing them for some reason. A person who does that is not a killer for some reason. 81059236
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 12/07/2026What if airport lounges were good? There should be a gym. And games. And ice cream. 000
Reposted by DanDan🗽LOLGOP🗽 @lolgop.bsky.social · 11/07/202680 million Americans proved themselves single issue voters. That single issue? More diarrhea. Lots of it. Heavy on the explosive. Anything else would be woke. 711317
Reposted by DanDanLJ Pemberton @ljabouttown.bsky.social · 08/07/2026remember kids, there’s no fertility crisis if you’re not a white supremacist 193
Reposted by DanDanCosmik Shriek 😱 @brightanimal.bsky.social · 30/06/2026"Highest court in the land" what a joke. Shit on em 021
Reposted by DanDanFaisal فيصل @faisalhamadah.bsky.social · 20/06/2026It will never stop being funny to me that the street fighter subreddit has a much better, well reasoned ai policy vis a vis literally all universities. 45170396107
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 16/06/2026Today in anxiety nightmare UX, Slack sent me an Email, while I was on vacation, telling me that my team has sent 866,175 messages recently. 000
Reposted by DanDanLJ Pemberton @ljabouttown.bsky.social · 15/04/2026I’ve got a new story in @thedodgemag.bsky.social today, thanks to @addisonzeller.bsky.social ! He’s not with The Dodge anymore, but he’s still in my top ten. Read it at your own risk. thedodgemag.com/spring-2026-...thedodgemag.comThe Individual - The Dodge 53716
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 13/04/2026Australian coffee is a roller coaster and I am in the front row screaming with my arms up 000
Reposted by DanDanpixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 05/04/2026the Artemis II crew just posted a new photo. what the fuck 986160784
Reposted by DanDanJill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 29/03/2026Ok step one is to make them look less delicious 168126861614
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 28/03/2026One thing about The X-Files is it really reminds you how shitty flashlights used to be in the 90s. Now anyone with $40 can buy a 100,000 lumen LED that attaches to your pistol and would light up the spooky sewer like an operating theater 052
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 22/03/2026Figuring out that I like setting things up a lot more than I like actually using them. 010
Reposted by DanDanSchooley @schooley.bsky.social · 17/03/2026Starting a war with goals is woke. 612013
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 11/03/2026I don't know anything about this guy's politics or qualifications for judge. But I think we can all agree that he is definitely a werewolf, right? 000
Reposted by DanDanCosmik Shriek 😱 @brightanimal.bsky.social · 28/02/2026I just don't think this is conduct becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient 061
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 27/02/2026I don't know if children are supposed to be driving a forklift but the exclamation leads me to believe they must be a prodigy 000
Reposted by DanDanMicah @rincewind.run · 21/02/2026what do you mean “the Olympics are almost over” what am I supposed to do now that I can’t watch lunatics do backflips off an ice chute or people skiing up the mountain for some godforsaken reason this is bullshit, run them back next week 2679568
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 21/02/2026Bought the 2lb bag of nerds gummy clusters from Costco and now I have a tummyache 010
Reposted by DanDanBrandon Williams @stupidartpunk.bsky.social · 14/02/2026I keep hearing that the Epstein files are so big if we held everyone accountable everything would collapse. And no it wouldn’t. These rich guys don’t do any actual work. They aren’t actually important or useful they are just rich. 12599443241
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 08/02/2026Flight attendant tried to pretend she couldn't read my name because "the printer messed up". Yeah. Sure. It was "the printer" and not half-assed romanization of an illiterate child's confused self-identification 3 generations ago that made my name inscrutable. 110
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 08/02/2026@kintha.bsky.social would insist that as an amateur, I may not use this. It's for ramen professionals only. 001
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 07/02/2026It's there anything more satisfying than the sound of some really good grit going up the vacuum? 000
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 06/02/2026The matter of fact simplicity of the bar icon. Its place in the holy trinity of air travel: toilet, baggage claim, martini. 000
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 06/02/2026I can't help it. I love a fake service dog. Their faces look like they're in on the grift. But the same way Pinky was in on Brain's plans. Dogs love cahoots. 010
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 05/02/2026The squirrels that live in the tree in the dog park, next to the expressway, are either the bravest or stupidest creatures in the world 100
DanDan @gidwyz.bsky.social · 02/02/2026Drama about a Chicago private detective duo called Clark and Lake 000