iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I'm always surprised when a mother of 3-or-more boys is not a raging alcoholic.

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Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp

FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Yes, obviously it's a tuxedo t-shirt. We're at a wedding, Sharon.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Showing my daughters Child's Play when they were young saved me a ton of money buying them dolls.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The U.S. obesity epidemic could be solved with a good old-fashioned dysentery epidemic.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Feels like a good day to see a couple of lazy dogs.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Getting older is all about realizing how much more is out there that can kill you.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

The true Walk of Shame is when you have to walk back into Subway with wet pants after spilling your drink on yourself in the parking lot.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

For my money, the best song about a headless Thompson gunner is still "Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner."

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Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Sorry for the way I’m dressed I have karate class after the funeral

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Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp

Ray @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 25/09/2026

I got word to activate the sleeper agent with a code phrase, but I forgot what it was. I've been at this Aldi for 5 hours, saying stuff like "infinite street tacos" and "cyborg unity promise" at the kid trying to shelve canned peas.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Jonny Quest gave me the unrealistic hope that some day I'd run into someone walking a giant komodo dragon on a leash.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

On the plus side, if you're an animal hoarder, no one wants to steal anything from your house.

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Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I hate when you meet someone and everything is going great and then they ask you to answer their riddles three

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Breaching is just whales giving tourists the finger.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Pro tip: Choose the richest people you know to be your kid's "emergency contact," then let them pay the medical bills.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

"There's nothing in this dishwasher full of clean dishes that can't wait until someone else unloads them." - everyone in my house

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Is there anything shadier than financial services advertised on sports talk radio?

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I should teach my daughter how to drive a stick shift, but then she would be able to drive my car. You can see my dilemma.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Fun fact: In America in the 1800's, every woman was married to a Methodist minister and bore 8 children.

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Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp

Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

damn shawty you're sorta doing that without the express written consent of major league baseball

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

NFL coaches need to watch pregame shows, so they'll know their O needs to establish a run game and their D needs to stop the run game.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

In the 1890s, Frederic Remington's lunch would often rot while he painted a picture of it to show his followers.

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Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp

🎃HalloDeeny🎃 they/them @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

They turned my account into a spirit Halloween

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

My daughter told me, "You're so old that when your class did International Day [a 6th grade celebration of various countries], you all did Pangaea."

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Hey, kids from the 1950s-1990s, do you have a fever? Put this glass tube filled with highly toxic mercury in your mouth to find out.

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Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp

Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

It’s a thousand degrees outside so let’s bake a lasagna.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

I judge a team's entire football season based on its 1st game's opening drive. Then I call a sports talk radio show.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

I can't die this year because HR tells me I've used up all my Personal Days.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Carol wrote in my Senior yearbook that I should "raise hell," but she didn't specify how much or how long. I'm afraid I'm letting her down.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Pro revenge tip: Paint a Jesus-shaped stain on your hated neighbor's driveway, then alert local churches.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

One of my former students plays in the NFL and, according to the Internet, has over $122m in career earnings, but he still hasn't returned that pencil I lent him in class.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

All car repair places should be named "A Technician Phoned in Sick So We're Short-handed Today."

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

I tried to put Coke Zero in the bottom half of my cup and regular Coke in the upper half, but the drink machine said, "Error: Undefined."

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Oh, good, the "check engine" light is back on. For a while, I thought maybe the bulb had burned out.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

I believe anything said in TV campaign ads. - idiots

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

It's a sad day when Bugles no longer fit on your fingers.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

You can have my electric typewriter when you pry it from my cold, dead desk. Seriously, it weighs a ton and is stuck on there.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Microcheated on my dog by looking at videos of other dogs.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Not to brag, but I've been chosen to apply for a credit card.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Good thing she's mighty, mighty because there's nothing worse than a pusillanimous brick house.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

The "devil's lettuce" is now just lettuce.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

I can't wait to be in my 70s and rob banks with my old friends.

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Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp

Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Listen, if you’re not happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship either, happiness comes from picking a new hobby and then buying all the things to start that hobby then finding the perfect little storage container for those things and then putting that storage container in the spare room

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Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp

Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

My dad would have been 75 yrs old today. But he was born two months premature.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

I just can't face this day with my dull and lifeless hair.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Either my iPod is broken, or this is the longest John Cage song ever.

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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp @foxult.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

My main problem is that I haven't misinterpreted enough holy books.

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