fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 12hchange my mind: 99% of forewords should be afterwords. they're packed with spoilers and fussy to discern from introductions/prologues. and it's more fun when you can't tell that a book is about to end by the number of remaining pages. 000
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 22/09/2026my toddler spilled milk on a chair a few nights ago and enjoyed wiping it up, and now she obsessively wipes the (clean) chair over and over, which i like to call baby macbeth mode 1143
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 22/09/2026that first fall run in sub-70° weather is exactly who she thinks she is 110
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 21/09/2026if you're in brooklyn but you're not sure which neighborhood, you're in boerum hill 020
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 17/09/2026baby skips straight from "a b c d e f g" to "now i know my abcs" which is actually technically consistent 020
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 17/09/2026the level of whimsy in each area of our apartment has is directly proportional to how much our toddler hates being there. so for example the bathtub looks like a willy wonka nautical acid trip 030
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 15/09/2026i work shorter days and make up a little time at night since the baby, which i alternately call "eine kleine nightworke" or "working on my night work" (to the tune of "night cheese," to the tune of "night moves") 030
Reposted by fionaNate @thenatewolf.bsky.social · 12/09/2026My calculator history leaking would be 1000x more humiliating than my browser history. 315828
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 01/09/2026vim's insert mode lets you edit text normally. don't ask about what happens in normal mode. 000
Reposted by fionajosh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Dolly Parton taught me it was ok to be universally beloved 45269627
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 26/08/2026the newborn stage is over but i'm now on-call to facilitate newborn-level care to a doll under my toddler's supervision 040
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 18/08/2026my daughter's laugh sounds like the purest, most authentic manifestation of human joy. also she can apparently fake it on command 030
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 04/08/2026finally gave in to my nightly urge to eat two consecutive ice cream bars and lost not only my appetite for the ice cream bars but the soul-sustaining belief that eating two ice cream bars would be amazing 010
Reposted by fionaBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 03/08/2026It’s hard to explain but tv was better when you couldn’t watch the show you wanted whenever you wanted to watch it and most of the shows were worse and the TVs were worse and the entire experience was worse, that’s when it was better 431124521643
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 29/07/2026if you just change "former" to "latter" or vice versa in a slack message within 5 minutes, it shouldn't tag it (edited) 000
Reposted by fionadan mentos @danmentos.com · 18/07/2026his palms are sweaty, knees weak, palms are sweaty. he forgot his lyrics already, palms are sweaty 91006156
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 03/07/2026the valsalva maneuver doesn't actually clear my ears but i do appreciate the opportunity to "maneuver" 0160
Reposted by fionamore mr. nice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 12/06/2026by today's standards conservatives were actually pretty normal about the teletubbies 113319
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 02/06/2026my kid's books are all like "1 - fun 🤡 2 - poo 🙊 3 - pee 😅" and they have 2 credited authors, an illustrator, and a manifesto about early childhood development on the back 220
Reposted by fionaSandra Newman @sannewman.bsky.social · 15/05/2026When I started debating this straw man I didn't expect to fall in love. 13835111
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 10/05/2026when my weather app says "56° feels like 49°" it's helpful context but when it says "56° feels like 56°" it's speaking to me like i'm a child 010
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 08/05/2026psychologically load bearing concepts of toddler parenthood: - i threw it on the GROUND - oops! all berries - never let them know your next move 140
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 08/05/2026dreamed about a patent (with drawings) for an ice hockey rink designed to go on the upper deck of a submarine. guess it doesn't hurt to put in an application. 100
Reposted by fionamattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 03/05/2026i see a horse has won the kentucky derby again. this is beginning to feel rigged 2297661516
Reposted by fionaGrobian Syboe @grobiansyboe.bsky.social · 01/05/2026Why do they call me "El Diablo"? Well, it's because they speak Spanish. 041345
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 28/04/2026got myself formally diagnosed by a cardiologist with R42 DIZZINESS AND GIDDINESS in the process of getting checked out for a minor heart defect 100
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 23/04/2026as soon as your baby turns one your instagram reels feed becomes 100% videos of adorable toddlers behaving normally with the caption "early signs my child had level 3 autism" 000
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 22/04/2026feels ice cold increasing the /effort level or /model right to claude's face when it says something silly 100
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 16/04/2026me: watch out, the dishwasher is still half full keith: you're such a pessimist 000
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 26/03/2026an underrated perk of working in midtown is overhearing german tourists attempt to comprehend k-shack spicy bbq cheese fries while picking up lunch 000
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 25/03/2026google home now pronounces vengabus like it rhymes with octopus 000
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 22/03/2026tons of books and DVDs here yesterday... only the problematic faves are left 110
Reposted by fionaGrobian Syboe @grobiansyboe.bsky.social · 12/03/2026$200 a barrel is misleading. You're not just paying for the container, but also the valuable crude oil inside of it. 71973235
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 06/03/2026keith: do we need anything from the store? me: blueberries. every time you go to the store you need to get a thing of blueberries. every time we leave the house we need to be getting blueberries. 000
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 06/03/2026my 9 games... had to reupload when i realized i could add candybox2.github.io 000
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 03/03/2026seems increasingly inevitable that (not for lack of alternatives) the baby's security blanket is going to be the pair of fuzzy dice my husband refused to let me put in our car 000
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 28/02/2026if you learn just one new number every year, you'll be able to count to 100 by your hundredth birthday 000
Reposted by fionajosh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 19/01/2026My dentist can do it all, from a simple cleaning to identifying my charred remains 263331597
fiona @fiono.bsky.social · 07/02/2026OH by my mom little girl: "100 plus 100 is infinity" bigger girl: "100 plus 100 is 200. 100 times 100 is infinity." 010
