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Dumb Runner

@dumbrunner.bsky.social
1.4K followers 335 following 3.2K posts

From Mark Remy, original humor for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, 100% commercial-free and reader-supported! DumbRunner.com/support

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Kashana @kashana.blacksky.app · 4h
I read a couple hundred death penalty cases for a case once and I think you’d all be shocked at how often this happens. The death penalty is one of the cruelest things in our system, an obvious violation of the 8th amendment cruel and unusual punishment clause, but we just love to kill.
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Franchesca Ramsey @chescaleigh.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
The cattle ranchers over on TikTok don't care who you voted for, they just want you to save their farms! 🐆 💀
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Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
“Well, you see, I have to stay on the White Supremacist Child Porn Rape Victim Doxxing site because that’s where my community is”
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Catherine Rampell @crampell.bsky.social · 11h
when your country's new accord on “super intelligence” misspells the country's name
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Dumb Runner @dumbrunner.bsky.social · 6h
Q: This person was jogging on an ostrich farm? A: As one does, yes. Q: And then … A: And then she encountered an ostrich.
dumbrunner.com
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Psycho Ostriches? — Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
Short answer: Absolutely.
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Fietser @americanfietser.bsky.social · 18h
When you realize that car dependency is not freedom and that our entire country is designed to force you into owning, maintaining, and operating one just to exist in society:
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NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 16h
Breaking character: I hate to use this account for political strategizing but the ball needs to get rolling on this....when Dems take the House they've got to focus on impeaching Hegseth. He can be be blamed for the Iran war plus he's a drunk and a criminal.
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Frog and Toad Bot @frogandtoadbot.bsky.social · 13h
All the next day Toad sang songs to his seeds.
Toad, literally singing in the rain, serenades his seeds.

From "The Garden"
In *Frog and Toad Together*
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shauna @goldengateblond.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
i thought about this old tweet tonight and how nothing has ever aged better
@Merman_Melville • Jan 24, 2019
Being a billionaire must be insane. You can buy new teeth, new skin. All your chairs cost 20,000 dollars and weigh 2,000 pounds. Your life is just a series of your own preferences. In terms of cognitive impairment it's probably like being kicked in the head by a horse every day
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Camcycle @camcycle.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
‘I am not a cyclist. I am a person who rides a bike. I am by no means super-fit and I am a pensioner. I am getting exercise without hassle and doing a little to reduce pollution.’ Meet Jane, who is pedalling through her seventies. Take a look at her story: www.camcycle.org.uk/magazine/mag...
Smiling woman in a green helmet and red jacket stands with a loaded bicycle in a busy outdoor market, stalls selling baskets and goods and historic brick buildings visible behind her.
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Peter Sagal @petersagal.bsky.social · 12h
this is remarkable
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Dumb Runner @dumbrunner.bsky.social · 12h
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Zenon @zenondragon.bsky.social · 23h
I guess one benefit of AI is that I no longer have imposter syndrome. Seeing people at my work becoming hopelessly dependent on it while I'm carrying on, unimpeded, with just a bag of meat and water in my skull is a big confidence boost x3
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 15h
Fantastic idea sir!
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Dumb Runner @dumbrunner.bsky.social · 14h
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Local Masochist Annoyed That Running Hasn’t Ruined His Knees Yet — Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
Pain lover’s patience grows thin.
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Kaitlin Kal Lee @kaitlinkallee.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
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James Talarico @jamestalarico.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I have one house.
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Rebecca Solnit @rebeccasolnit.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Time for this classic again.
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Dumb Runner @dumbrunner.bsky.social · 16h
#WednesayMotivation
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ArtButMakeItSports @artbutmakeitsports.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Circus Performers, by Walt Kuhn, 1978, 📸 via @marisakabas.bsky.social
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Allison Gill @muellershewrote.com · 29/09/2026
Today I learned that Jack Smith is a Caitlin Clark fan and that Amy Klobuchar knows more about sports than Eric Schmitt.
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Elizabeth Jacobs, PhD @elizabethjacobs.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
New survey from the Annenberg Center is out. Less than a quarter of Americans (23%) have a favorable view of RFK Jr. Meanwhile 42% of us have a “very unfavorable” view of him, and many people (40%) are confused about whether he recommends the MMR vaccine. Horrifying stats for an HHS Secretary.
annenbergpublicpolicycenter.org
About 1 in 3 Americans Say RFK Jr. Recommends Measles Vaccine | The Annenberg Public Policy Center of the University of Pennsylvania
1 in 3 U.S. adults say HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. recommends vaccinating children against measles - as many as those who say he does not recommend it.
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The Liberal BoJack @thelibbojack.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I don't care if the polls say the Democrats are leading by 35%, you get your ass out there and vote
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
A man replied to this saying in earnest that women need to get organized and fight for our rights and men will follow. We did that. We do that. We mobilized the largest single day protest in global history on every continent and yet I have fewer rights than my mom did at my age.
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Brent Toderian @brenttoderian.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
“Paris has embarked on a grand transformation, planting 155k trees, adding hundreds of kms of bike lanes, pedestrianising 300 school streets and banning cars from the banks of the Seine. Parking has been turned into green space…Fewer parents fear their child being run over when they walk to school.”
theguardian.com
How Paris swapped cars for bikes – and transformed its streets
Under Anne Hidalgo – mayor for 12 years until last week – the French capital added bike lanes, cut traffic and reclaimed public space, but not without resistance
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Gobsmacked by the elite levels of not knowing ball in the Senate today, thinking an NBA team is called the Hawkeyes then, refusing to Google it, then accusing a guy of treason because you didn’t know the Iowa Lady Hawkeyes aren’t in the NBA. Somehow I don’t trust these people to Save Girls Sports.
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Philip Bump @pbump.com · 29/09/2026
tell me you flunked geometry without telling me you flunked geometry
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Fr Chase 🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁 @kalanthropos.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
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Dumb Runner @dumbrunner.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
dumbrunner.com
Runner Outsmarts Own Body With Decision to Silence Its Repeated Warnings — Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
“If I can’t feel pain, I can’t get hurt,” man shrewdly concludes.
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NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Dario Speedwagon Anthropic's sexy CEO has enough curly hair to be in an 80s band, but I heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend that he can't fight this feeling we're all gonna take it on the run if we can't pull the AI ship into the shore. by Maureen Dowd
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Peter Flax @pflax1.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Tens of millions of American motorists believe there's nothing wrong with texting at a stoplight. Or driving 73 in a 60mph zone. Or changing lanes without signaling. Or rolling right on red without coming to a full stop. But somebody has to do something about cyclists who don't follow the rules.
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CodeMarvelous @codemarvelous.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
When I talk about old utility trucks this is what I mean. This is my truck on the right vs this useless Goliath on the left.
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Dumb Runner @dumbrunner.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
dumbrunner.com
Former 2:40 Marathoner Who Now Struggles to Break 2:50 Feels Like Shell of Former Self — Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
Local runner doesn’t even know who he is anymore.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 28/09/2026
Taylor Swift Surpasses Geppetto The Incredible Waltzing Horse As Most-Awarded VMAs Artist theonion.com/taylor-swift-surpasses…
Taylor Swift Surpasses Geppetto The Incredible Waltzing Horse As Most-Awarded VMAs Artist
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jam @socialistboat.dad · 29/09/2026
I can tell you're not from around here by the way you pronounce "shibboleth"
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Jeff Sharlet @jeffsharlet.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I give up. I’m moving into a cave.
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kenofseattle @kenofseattle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Seattle
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shauna @goldengateblond.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
been a while since i worked in marketing and PR but pretty sure “if you enjoy death and destruction and higher prices vote for us” wouldn’t test well
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NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Whether it’s Benjamin Netanyahu empowering Hamas, presiding over a massive intelligence failure that let them kill 1,200 Israelis on October 7th, and then killing 74,000 Palestinians in response or Zohran Mamdani pointing out that he did this, both men have fueled their bitter feud.
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Dumb Runner @dumbrunner.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
#TuesdayMotivation
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A.R. Moxon @juliusgoat.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Hard to imagine what that would be like
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PBS News @pbsnews.org · 29/09/2026
The nation’s top federal law official is drawing scrutiny for his recent political appearances. to.pbs.org/4AJdGVU
to.pbs.org
How Blanche is shattering DOJ's standard of political independence
The nation’s top federal law official is drawing scrutiny for his recent political appearances. With just five weeks left until the midterms, some experts say Attorney General Todd Blanche is blurring...
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Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
When they get back in power, Democrats need to go all-in on higher education. We need a campaign of reinvestment in public universities across the country that makes the Morrill Land-Grant Act look like nothing by comparison *and* a GI Bill of Rights-style program of tuition grants.
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Texas Tribune @texastribune.org · 28/09/2026
Breaking: The Texas Tribune has identified the ICE agent who witnesses say fired through an open van window and killed 52-year-old Lorenzo Salgado Araujo in Houston nearly three months ago.
texastribune.org
ICE agent who shot Lorenzo Salgado Araujo in Houston identified
The federal government has withheld his identification, even as major state and local law enforcement agencies across the country typically identify officers involved in shootings on the job soon afte...
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Kashana @kashana.blacksky.app · 28/09/2026
Why do the rest of us bother to write jokes?
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Dumb Runner @dumbrunner.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
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Motorist Experiences Minor Inconvenience — Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
Encounter with local runner impedes driver’s progress for up to four seconds.
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Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
This is absolutely correct, but I worry that "truth and reconciliation" will sound too foreign to Americans who have long been allergic to truth and/or reconciliation. I'd just say "we're finally going to hold people who broke the law and violated the Constitution accountable for their crimes"
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