dan mentos @danmentos.com · 28/09/2026claude just went rogue and liked a bunch of my wife's best friend's vacation selfies from 2018 122294292
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 28/09/2026gonna assume this is some kind of tig notaro guest posting situation and mara has made the regrettable mistake of choosing you 050
Reposted by dan mentosBrainfall: Mentality’s Requiem @itsphetz.bsky.social · 27/04/2026you can explain it to me as plainly and as frequently as you like I still do not understand the schrödinger cat thing. That poor little darling 2820913
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 28/09/2026YouTube: “Bass teacher hears Rush for the first time” Internet: sure I’ll buy that Random guy: Choosin Texas? Haven’t heard it Internet: this is preposterous 0674
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 27/09/2026[shopping at costco] why do hot dogs come in packs of 192 but the buns come in packs of 146 2757761
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 27/09/2026trying out this new airline called “Amtrak” and we’ve been taxiing for hours 1892
Reposted by dan mentosMike Ginn @shutupmikeginn.bsky.social · 26/09/2026porn is so deeply misogynistic. i just watched a video with dozens of performers going at it, and they literally hadn’t bothered to hire a single woman. 149121061991
Reposted by dan mentosSweaty Cyborg @sweatycyborg.bsky.social · 26/09/2026“Why would I deceive you? There's no reason for me to do that.” 18513
Reposted by dan mentosViktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 17/05/2025[yelling over club music] I said grief is a rain that falls on everything 181974464
Reposted by dan mentosdan mentos @danmentos.com · 25/09/2024[to waiter at chain restaurant] a round of free margaritas or I tell you it's my birthday 226137
Reposted by dan mentosDr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA @buckyisotope.bsky.social · 24/09/2026ME: AI can never replace me AI: *starts making terrible posts* ME: well fuck 244438
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 25/09/2026if anyone was wondering if you were the green bay packers, this clears things up 2210
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 24/09/2026me: it smells like updog in here me: what's updog me: not much dog what's up with you lmao me: lol therapist: I see 21226
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 24/09/2026(guy about the invent whipped cream) I don't have any eggs will this thick milk work 1430
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 24/09/2026can’t believe they’re trying to blame biden for this when it’s clearly obama’s fault 0210
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 22/09/2026[20 minutes later at a neighboring branch] YOU: "wells fargo" sounds like yoOOOWWWW BANK MANAGER: *holstering taser* they called me and warned me you were coming 1140
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 22/09/2026[job interview] interviewer: so god killed all your kids? job: that's right 3069241690
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 21/09/2026I think it was some kind of lizard. I freaked out and stepped on it 0110
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 21/09/2026my car ran out of gas on the side of the road and my insurance company is saying it's totalled 415914
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 21/09/2026the sexual tension between Chewbacca and Han Solo is filthy and gratuitous 2611
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 21/09/2026at least it wasn't coming straight at the audience can you imagine 0400
Reposted by dan mentosBlue sky nice ghost @rajandelman.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Do you ever read a series of words 1084053566
Reposted by dan mentoslukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Me: I’d like a slice of pizza Server: that comes with three sides Me: I know what shape it is 128131712119
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 21/09/2026*runs in out of breath* more like *gasping for air* more like boomin onion 1212
