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colonel bastard

@colonel-bastard.bsky.social
59 followers 89 following 79 posts

queer trans dude telling queer stories :: he/him (30+) :: i do not control the hyperfixation

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Reposted by colonel bastard
Jess Fink🍉🌈 @jessfink.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
🎃
A 7 panel comic by the artist. First panel: The artist is running from a distance towards a group of people playing basketball in the park. The artist is holding a pumpkin above their head and screaming "AAAAAAAAA". Second panel: The artist has leapt up and is in position to slam dunk the pumpkin into the basketball hoop. Panel three: the pumpkin splatters violently against the backboard of the basketball hoop, sending orange pumpkin goop everywhere. Panel four: the players stand staring, covered in pumpkin goop and shocked. Panel five: the artist stares at them wide-eyed, also covered in the goop and says "it's October FIRST". Their hand reaches towards their face. Panel six: the artist rips off their own face like a rubber mask to reveal a skeleton beneath. Panel 7: the group of players stand shocked and horrified, watching as the skeleton falls to the ground in a pile of bones, the sound effects says "CLATTER".
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est. 1997 @molenaide.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
DO YOU REMEMBER
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Three panel comic. Panel 1: two raccoons are sitting at a table with a bunch of podcast recording equipment. Raccoon one says into the microphone, “you gotta cut the negativity out of your life.” Panel 2: raccoon replies, “facts” Panel 3: raccoon 1 continues with his hands clasped together to capture the sincerity of his monologue, “that way you have more time to eat garbage.” Raccoon 2 contributes, “that’s facts”
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
A trans woman asks another trans woman "why do our conversations always descend into tranny Seinfeld bits?" The other trans woman says "that reminds me, I got politely "they"-ed yesterday." The first one replies "They gave you the polite "They." In Costanza-like fashion the second one says "they gave me the polite "they!"
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Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
when AI companies go bankrupt
5 panel comic

Panel 1: Red Guy with “AI” on his chest is falling backwards off a cliff. A Purple Guy is running to “save him”

Panels 2-4: Close up of Purple Guy’s hands gradually going from outstretched fingers to a closed fist

Panel 5: Red Guy falls backwards off the cliff while Purple Guy does nothing but show him his middle finger.
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 16/06/2026
here’s the thing. it’s not Good to look around for Reasons that someone whose art you don’t like is evil. HOWEVER when it DOES happen,
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cathartes 🔞 @cathartes-immundus.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
"why dont you ship-" it doesnt move my heart or my boner idk what to tell you. i dont choose where i end up.
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silas denver 🍎 @sweatermuppet.bsky.social · 17/09/2025
one of my most popular designs
a black and white typography edit. there is white text that reads "don't want to see trans people? pluck out your eyes." in the middle of the design is a hand holding a scorpion by the tail. between the scorpion's claws is a human eyeball. the entire image is edited to look photocopied.
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 25/03/2026
i think sometimes cis people truly have a hard time understanding that jk rowling is a living person actively using her wealth to fund the international assault on trans lives. she’s not some Complicated Author we can have a spirited debate about separating from the art with!!!!!
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silas denver 🍎 @sweatermuppet.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
get weirder 🫵
a digital collage with a pink, purple, green, yellow, and teal gradient overlaid on all the images. the images include a horse carrying a bucket, a cluster of mushrooms, a grub, a birds talon, a cicada, five spiders, two flower buds, a hand with an eye over the back of it, and a microscope slide of atoms. there is white text that reads "get weirder or die miserable." the background is black and there is a slightly grainy texture
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Sean T. Collins @seantcollins.com · 10/02/2026
I've never wanted something to flop harder than this fucking misbegotten television show for transphobic 42-year-olds
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ash s. @housegoblin.bsky.social · 02/02/2026
sorry for being cringe I'm trying to enjoy being alive
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dreadelion @dreadelion.bsky.social · 01/02/2026
every medievally inspired artist must eventually make a pastiche of their favourite piece of medieval art not very hard to guess which one's mine 🩸🦄🌷
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colonel bastard @colonel-bastard.bsky.social · 29/01/2026
media.tenor.com
a man with a beard is crying and saying `` he can 't keep getting away with it ! ''
ALT: a man with a beard is crying and saying `` he can 't keep getting away with it ! ''
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colonel bastard @colonel-bastard.bsky.social · 29/01/2026
just found out that mike flanagan is making a fucking exorcist movie and this is where i draw the fucking LINE i need this man OUT of hollywood IMMEDIATELY!!!!
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Lee Knox Ostertag @leeknoxostertag.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
sometimes you get hit with the euphoria all at once
a sketchy drawing of the artist with top surgery scars and the words 'thank god' and 'thank you' written behind him, along with a footnote: "i do not beieve in God in any meaningful way and all the things I am so grateful for have come from ME and THOSE I LOVE (and from gay people) (thank you gay people)"
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colonel bastard @colonel-bastard.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
NOOOOOOO HAAAAAANS
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chuck 🐦💐 @chuckdrawsthings.bsky.social · 06/01/2026
doing it out of spite (against myself)
PANEL 1: a sad little pigeon sits and bemoans "ugh, what's the point in trying...i can't do anything..."
PANEL 2: the pigeon perks up and says "wait a minute...i shouldn't listen to myself."
PANEL 3: the pigeon stands proudly, saying "what do i know? i'm am idiot!"
PANEL 4: the pigeon zooms off, exclaiming "screw you, me - i can do it!!"
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Michael Li (李之樸) @mcpli.bsky.social · 31/12/2025
The final Calvin and Hobbes, which appeared in papers 30 years ago today.
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Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 07/12/2024
can’t say Merry Christmas anymore because of the Woke Police 😔
4 Panel Comic

Panel 1: Blue guy holding a champagne glass saying: Pffft. You can’t say Merry Christmas anymore because of the woke police.
Merry Christmas!

Panel 2: Two police officers in rainbow coloured uniforms smash through windows either side of the blue guy.
Officer 1: WPD!
Officer 2: Put your hands on your ass

Panel 3: The woke police begin beating the blue guy
Officer 1: Merry this motherfucker
Officer 2: I got you christmas right here shithead

Panel 4: Blue guy standing in the exact same position as in Panel 1. The beating that just took place was a complete fantasy.
Blue guy: God I wish that would happen
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✨steph ✨🏳️‍🌈 @iridescentdreams.bsky.social · 20/11/2025
friendly reminder that you didn't waste your year. any moments of happiness or comfort. any small accomplishments, they all matter. this has been a really hard year, and simply surviving is something to be proud of.
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J. L. Westover @mrlovenstein.bsky.social · 08/12/2025
if you give a mouse a cookie
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Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 02/12/2025
i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse
4 panel comic

Panel 1: 
Red Guy looking way way too happy yells “Hey Guys! Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?”
Blue Guy next to him calmly says “Shhh”

Panel 2: 
Blue Guy tenderly puts his arms around Red Guy and says “You don’t have to do this”

Panel 3: 
Blue Guy still holds Red Guy tightly and repeats “You don’t have to do this every year”. Red Guy begins to break.

Panel 4: 
Red Guy dissolves into Blue Guy’s embrace, sobbing. He finally feels the weight of Christmas Discourse lifting from his shoulders. He is finally free.
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Adam P Knave @adampknave.com · 12/11/2025
I’ve seen a few folks go for the “if you simply must watch that new Harry Potter show just pirate it” and sorry. No. Just no. Just don’t watch it. At all. Ever. Break free of it. It’s time. You’ll be ok. I promise. I know it mattered to you as a kid. Find new things, it’s healthier. Just move on.
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Stefan Mohamed @stefmowords.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
succubus - female demon that seduces men incubus - male demon that seduces women vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party
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Gretchen Felker-Martin PRE ORDER CHIMERA 2.16.27 🍉 @scumbelievable.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
once you relax about the Burden of Manhood you either become a cool dude (nice) or a hot woman (also nice)
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Gretchen Felker-Martin PRE ORDER CHIMERA 2.16.27 🍉 @scumbelievable.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
"Vampire fiction is for tops and werewolf fiction is for bottoms" -me just now in an interview with a major magazine
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Evan Urquhart @evanurquhart.bsky.social · 16/09/2025
Ta-Nehasi Coates is doing a lot of things with this essay, but one of the most important is fearlessly using examples of anti-trans hate to describe Charlie Kirk's politics. The contrast between his choices and those of other writers for major legacy outlets is revealing.
vanityfair.com
Charlie Kirk, Redeemed: A Political Class Finds Its Lost Cause
By ignoring the rhetoric and actions of the Turning Point USA founder, pundits and politicians are sanitizing his legacy.
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
Me, buying myself the goddamn little treat I deserve
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
Being trans is great, but it would nicer during a time when my mere existence is not a form of protest
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Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 07/04/2025
what being alive currently feels like
4 panel comic

Panel 1: Purple Guy steps in bear trap and screams 

Panel 2: Purple Guy gets punched in the penis by a boxing glove

Panel 3: Purple Guy gets set on fire

Panel 4: Purple Guy lying on the ground, almost dead. Blue guy sticks head into shot and says: Heads up, things are about to get bad
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mothcub @mothcub.bsky.social · 04/09/2025
Iconic moment at the Downton Abbey premiere
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pseudonym jones @pseudonymjones.bsky.social · 29/01/2024
went running this morning
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 23/08/2025
A trans woman asks her trans woman friend "why do our conversations always descend into tranny seinfeld bits." The other trns woman says "that reminds me, I got politely "They"-ed yesterday." The first woman throws up her hands and says "they gave you the polite "they." Costanza-like, the second woman confirms "THEY GAVE ME THE POLITE "THEY"!"
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Gretchen Felker-Martin PRE ORDER CHIMERA 2.16.27 🍉 @scumbelievable.bsky.social · 21/08/2025
New gender neutral toilet just dropped
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Minovsky @minovskyarticle.bsky.social · 07/08/2025
Stop debating this website's growth potential. I don't care. I'm a digital hermit crab. If it dies, I'll find another shell as I've done a dozen times before.
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Joseph Fink, we're going to win @planetoffinks.bsky.social · 06/08/2025
the best legacy of Harry Potter at this point is elevating three children that all seem to have become incredibly decent and interesting adults
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Alanna Smith @alannamode.bsky.social · 21/07/2025
Maybe the real Ship of Theseus was the Ship of Theseus we made along the way
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colonel bastard @colonel-bastard.bsky.social · 10/07/2025
mfw they make a third season of the terror starring dan stevens and stephen root
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colonel bastard @colonel-bastard.bsky.social · 10/07/2025
i was already stoked beyond measure for a third season of the terror starring dan stevens but i just now was browsing the full cast and saw STEPHEN ROOT and now i am simply vibrating out of my skin with anticipation
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Simkaye 🌈 @simkaye.bsky.social · 26/06/2025
Happy pride! 🌈💐
A comic with 4 frames. 

Frame 1: closeup of a green carnation with a scroll that reads “meet at our tree should you feel the same”. 

Frame 2: closeup of a gold knight’s hand plucking a poppy from a field of flowers. 

Frame 3: Birds Eye view of a mounted silver knight guiding their horse through a field of flowers. 

Frame 4: wide shot of the two knights in the wilderness meeting beneath the shade of a tree. The gold knight leads their horse on foot, extending a bouquet of flowers up to the silver knight, who is still on horseback and hiding behind their back a similar bouquet to give the gold knight
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pseudonym jones @pseudonymjones.bsky.social · 21/06/2025
a quick comic to dispel the demon of having not made a comic
Emma sits peacefully with a cup of coffee. “It’s nice to take a few days where I’m not pushing myself to make something,” she thinks. She takes a sip of coffee. Her shadow lurches out from behind her and yells PURPOSE NOT BEING FULFILLED
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Maladroithe @maladroithe.bsky.social · 19/06/2025
This is a vital message: one of the larger reasons BlueSky is refreshingly free of alt-right shitlords is because in the early days we made a gentleperson’s agreement to starve these fuckos out and it worked. No likes, no quotes, no engagement. They got bored and left. Please keep the Old Ways.
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Preeti Chhibber @runwithskizzers.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
Seen this going around but I’m Reposting it with the full alt text bc everyone deserves to read this glorious reply from Boy George
A Twitter reply from Boy George to JKR. JKR said something predictably terfy. 

Boy George’s reply: 

This is your obsession and it's pretty relentless and for no reason. You don't get to decided who or what anyone is except when you write. In the real world people can and always will be what they want to be. You can't stop it but you can continue to make young kids lives more difficult. You are cruel JK, you have started to look cruel in pictures. All this obsession is wearing on your expression. The pictures of you mocking 'trans' people like Winston Churchill after the Supreme Court ruling. Your endless comments about how rich you are. It's depressing and tacky and proves you are desperate to mean something but sadly you are just being mean.
As my hilarious friend David Hoyle always says.
'Ladies & gentlemen and those of you still deciding. There are two type of people, nice people and c***s.
I do not expect any positive response and you will continue to be supported by women who see you as some kind of gender hero. Women are not better than men and men are not better than women. As a man, a biological one, rah, rah, I have no issue with a girl becoming a boy or the other way around. As a gay man who has worn make-up since 14 l had lived my entire life feeling awkward and afraid using male public toilets.
It's not easy being different and you are only making it harder. Why don't you buy a nice Scottish island or a farm and start a JK commune for traumatised Terfs. Or listen to your fellow Scott Sydney Banks and he will hopefully help you understand that this is all in your head.
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Naomi Kritzer @naomikritzer.bsky.social · 28/05/2025
This is a one-night event but is viewable on a livestream (or for two weeks after the performance) and is a fundraiser for a UK trans charity.
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Captain Disillusion @captaindisillusion.bsky.social · 25/05/2025
Antonym: Pervegeezer
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Phobia @phobia.bsky.social · 15/05/2025
rootin'-tootin'-smoochin'-queerin' kinda outlaw
a bunny girl in a cowboy hat pokes her six shooters together and blushing says "Okay but what if like, this town WERE big enough for the both of us?"
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 25/01/2025
re Leaving America… like 1. fuck you! my friends are here and 2. do people think that there’s a country that they’ve never heard of that’s immune to the fascist turn by every nuclear power that you can only see if you look at a globe in a mirror
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