iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Whenever I'm almost caught up at work, my body is like "finally I have time for 48 hours of gastrointestinal upheaval"

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I'm not meant for a 9-to-5. I should be caramelizing onions and writing upsetting short stories.

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 10/03/2026

I don't want to shower and go to work, I wanna stay home and be disgusting

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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 29/09/2026

awoke this morning with a Vision

that diagram showing the SUV blind spot in the front but it's lowly worm driving his little applemobile

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

My English ex-boyfriend's mother: Cor blimey Me: Y'all motherfuckers really out here sayin that shit, huh

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

(wakes up too early on a Saturday) (Santa Claus "Detective Crashmore" press junket voice) Absolute fսcking bullshit. Unprofessional bullshit.

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Had a dream I was observing an MRI, but the machine spun the person like they were in a tumble dryer and I was like "how are they possibly getting a clear image here"

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

I do enjoy going on vacation, but there's just nothing like home toilet advantage

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

I must not lie down. Lie down is the awake killer

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

New York is feeling so much joy from the Knicks championship win that maybe we can finally begin to heal from our greatest tragedy: the death of Jerry Orbach

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Did it hurt? When the free samples lady put you in a figure four leg lock

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Sources close to the situation are saying "who cares" and "do I have to"

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

It is perblaps one of my best proprietary words

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

(you hear an extremely loud crunch while the knight and Death play chess)

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Being callously refused entry to the cinema for trying to bring my emotional support nachos

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

🎶 Might as well face it you're addicted to

"Snrub"

(Screenshot from "Marge vs. the Monorail" of Mr. Burns at the town hall meeting, wearing a fake mustache)

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

Everyone who rocks dies and everyone who sucks is still fucking president

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the idle witch @eeyikes.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

NYT reporters all shoving their heads up random asses, asking the intestinal parasites where they stand on the filibuster.

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

All Democrats have to do to win midterms is be like "We won't give you the explosive diarrhea parasite" and instead they probably will be like "We have to move further right to appeal to the explosive diarrhea parasite"

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

How are you guys distinguishing between the parasite explosive diarrhea and your regular everyday anxiety explosive diarrhea

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Can't tell if this is pre-menopause, or just the ill effects of this ring I'm carrying to Mordor

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

I found it and it worked (incredibly powerful today)

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

I gotta find my Sleep Token tour t-shirt so I can wear it to work tomorrow (for power purposes)

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 22/08/2025

Wearing my emotional support Judas Priest tee shirt

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

(picturing the meeting after someone inevitably asks if I'm glad to be back) Me, to HR: I said I "low key wish I'd never been born" not "high key wish I were dead" okay?? Fucking idiot

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Boiled Owl Leather Goods @boiledowlleather.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Marmalade does the quality checks. This one is good to ship

All four pics are my cat marmalade scent marking a yellow, pink, and blue working class hero 7 pocket wallet.

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Boiled Owl Leather Goods @boiledowlleather.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

The old world is dying, and the new world struggles to be born. Now is the time of monsters. Why not buy a nice handmade wallet?

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Comin' in hot to Tuesday running on fumes and fury

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 31/03/2025

You know what I could really go for right now? One of those large cash settlements

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Can't tell if this is pre-menopause, or just the ill effects of this ring I'm carrying to Mordor

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harpy @harpy.party · 17/07/2026

my big jiggly milkers give me a tactical advantage on the battlefield

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

I have been meaning to get yoked for the apocalypse 🤔

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Forgot to mention: I don't have the money or desire to go back to school, and I'm way too sweaty to inspire confidence in any medical or food service context

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Are there jobs out there that don't make you hate life? Also can I trade mine in for one of those please and thank you

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

I'm 1 of 3 sisters, so take this writing tip from me: never have anyone call their sister "sis". Calling them "dude" is much more realistic

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

For more, we go to our reporter at the scene, Glenn Danzig. Glenn?

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

Oh funny coincidence, I also cloned that rich monster as a baby

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

The pay's nothin, but it's honest work

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

Don't worry, I'm working on another short comedic piece so I can again be rejected by McSweeney's and other less well known publications too 😎

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Steve Coy @mcleemz.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

seeing Americans do cool looking elite tier stuff in a high stakes international soccer game is like watching a gorilla drive a car

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

The Detroiters episode "Happy Birthday Mr. Duvet" contains what scholars refer to as "Chekhov's table full of pies"

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