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House of 1000 Fionas

@cogentanalysis.bsky.social
4.5K followers 270 following 350 posts

oh god, it's come to this

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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
🎶 Might as well face it you're addicted to
"Snrub"

(Screenshot from "Marge vs. the Monorail" of Mr. Burns at the town hall meeting, wearing a fake mustache)
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
My mom got me a pair in 1997, still good in 2013 but lookin a bit rough & had always been a tiny bit too small. Therapist suggested I get new ones as part of "take care of myself" lessons. 6 months later I was pulling them on & an entire tongue ripped out of one. DEEPLY regret chucking the old pair.
A mismatched pair of Doc Martens boots on a paper bag on a wooden chair. The boot on the left (1 of the pair mom got me in 1997) looking very, very worn out - shiny at the top of the tongue but very worn and dull gray everywhere else, with cat scratch gouges on the toe. The boot on the right is a brand new, shiny black piece of shit I bought in 2013 that lasted 6 months.
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Almost done with the preparatory doing-a-huge-amount-of-work before a short vacation, which will then be followed by the post-vacation catch-up doing-a-huge-amount-of-work, effectively negating any restorative benefits of a short vacation
Bigmoji my phone made combining the sunglasses emoji and the melting emoji, but huge
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
A couple months ago my employer's AI Committee (barf) made us all complete a survey about using GenAI at work - they forced me to give my opinion, so LOL they sure as shit got my opinion (Same screenshot twice, needed more room for alt text)
(black text on white screen, question in bold followed by answer in regular text) 

Q: What is the single most important thing the firm could do to help you use Generative AI more effectively?
A: I will not voluntarily use GenAI for my work or for any other personal purpose. I played around with Dall-E when it first came out but that was before I knew the wider implications and impact of using AI tools for frivolous reasons. The AI bubble is going to burst. We are currently in the "we just discovered Radium, it's awesome, let's put it in watches and face creams and health tinctures" phase of AI rollout. There are significant and incredible things that can be accomplished with AI, e.g. high level mathematical / scientific applications that simply cannot be done by human brains, or which would take months or years using standard computing methods, but the energy costs of AI are so high that they need to be carefully weighed and not applied en masse to any and every task that could hypothetically be done to increase corporate profits even though the output is unreliable to say the least. Anecdotally I have heard that in a wide variety of types of companies, AI is thought by managers to replace the need for junior level employees - e.g. have AI do it instead of hiring a Junior Programmer without considering the fact that Senior Programmers come from Junior Programmers. Widely available LLMs are pattern-identifying human language mimickers and automated plagiarism programs that are designed to keep the user engaging with the program - i.e. [sic] "you're right, you're doing well in your recovery, so you do deserve a little crack as a reward." It's the same thing as an AI image of a hand with seven fingers on it - it identifies a pattern, there are 4 fingers in a row, the pattern makes it likely that there will be more fingers coming next. Microsoft Outlook still thinks I'm about to say "Happy Thanksgiving" when I start writing an email in July.

(Continued in next photo)(continued)

The inclusion of AI tasks in my paralegal role would be a waste of my time, require extensive double checking to the point where it would just be easier and faster to do it myself because I know I will do it correctly and accurately, and as explained above I would consider it a personal moral failure to use GenAI tools for my work.
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
This has been weighing on my mind for days
A text message I sent that reads:

(for the Lee Iacocca joke, there's a species of 5-foot tall bird people called aarakocra)A reply to my text that reads:

Ahh thank you for that explanation 


Three subsequent texts I responded with that say:

I feel maybe I shoulda spelled it Iakoccra? But the D&D people would get it anyway
Assuming they know the name Lee Iacocca
As you can see there's a lot to unpack here
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 22/10/2025
My main hobbies
Wikipedia article "See also" section with links to: 
- Screaming (in music) 
- Screaming (in general)
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
Method: Fifty-four participants were randomly assigned to reactivation+Tetris (visuospatial), reactivation+Word games (verbal), or reactivation-only (no task). They watched an aversive film (day 0) and recorded intrusive memories of the film in diary A. On day 4, memory was reactivated, after which participants played Tetris, Word games, or had no task for 10 minutes. They then kept a second diary (B). Informative hypotheses were evaluated using Bayes factors. Results: Reactivation+Tetris and reactivation+Word games resulted in relatively fewer intrusions from the last day of diary A to the first day of diary B than reactivation-only (objective 1 and 2). Thus, both tasks were effective even when applied days after analogue trauma. Reactivation-only was not effective.
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
It's funny because it's true
Weird Al at the end of the "Living with a Hernia" video, dressed like James Brown, yelling "I feel BAD!" right before he falls over
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 09/06/2025
Finally unlocked the "Japanese for Bitches" unit in Duolingo
A screenshot of a Japanese listening exercise in Duolingo, and the English translation of the sentence is "Isn't your makeup a bit overdone?"
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 17/03/2025
I uploaded a gif, goddamnit, if I knew it wouldn't work I woulda picked this single frame where all of his fingers are all bloody
Homer Simpson playing the knife game at his kitchen table, and each of his fingers have a bloody red spot where he's stabbed each of them, and the knife is in his index finger (he is saying "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.")
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 17/03/2025
This is what getting up and going to work every day feels like
Homer Simpson sitting at the kitchen table playing the knife game with a stiletto blade but the knife never touches the table and he just keeps stabbing his fingers (he is saying "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow")
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
Here are my thoughts on the Super Bowl
Text messages I sent to my boyfriend, reading "They should do the moral thing and change their logo to a fire helmet, and be the Chiefs in the sense of firefighters" and "Much like I feel The Reds and The Browns should change everything to potatoes"
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 22/01/2025
Getting ready to wear this shirt every day for the next several years
A black tee shirt laid flat to show off the white line illustration of a guillotine on a raised wooden platform, with the caption "A PLATFORM FOR FASCISTS" (from ScienTees on etsy)
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 30/12/2024
The only way I can imagine getting through the next year is to go to as many events as possible where I can wear this Lorna Shore shirt that's the Pieta except Jesus has been decapitated (this was Last Podcast live)
A public venue bathroom mirror selfie of me where I'm wearing glasses, a mask, a black jacket over a black hoodie, and the Lorna Shore Pieta shirt where Mary is cradling Jesus's decapitated body, and there is blood all over his chest and shoulders and Mary's clothes, and his severed head is resting on the ground next to his own hip, but the face has a somewhat blank but serene expression. The kinda vibe I'm tryna cultivate for 2025. Don't tell my Grandpa about this shirt.
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 04/12/2024
(Tim-Robinson-wearing-a-hot-dog-costume voice) Yeah right, you piece of dog shit, YOU'RE FUCKING DOG SHIT!!!!!!
screenshot from my Suggested Accounts tab on bluesky, where The Democrats is the top suggested account. Their profile summary is "We're fighting for a better, fairer, and brighter future for every American." You sure bout that? You sure bout that that's why??
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 19/11/2024
Great news, Bluesky just rolled out this feature!!
Screenshot of @cogentanalyis tweet posted 14-Nov-2022 reading "But if Twitter stops existing, how will men be able to explain my own jokes back to me??"
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 28/10/2024
Here's a video where you can more clearly see the be-banana-costumed fellow kickin' ase
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 28/10/2024
Cognitively cacophonous experience to watch them setting up for Lorna Shore while the lite fm filler music plays "Heaven is a Place on Earth"
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 28/10/2024
You know it's gonna be a good night when right off the bat there's a banana in the circle pit
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 17/10/2024
All me, baybee!!
Screenshot of this, one of my greatest joke achievements, as originally tweeted in November 2014
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 01/03/2024
"He's beginning to think outside the bun."
Trinity asks Morpheus "What is he doing?"Morpheus with a look of growing triumphant wonder
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 29/12/2023
Can't wait to enjoy some delicious (squints) hoogs
A hot dog cart on a corner in NYC. The double panel sliding window is partly open so that the "Nathan's HOT DOGS" decal across both panes overlaps to read "HOOGS" (also a very truncated cartoon hotdog)
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 30/11/2023
Oh, Henry Kissinger is dead?
Immediately after The Ramones finish playing the birthday song, CJ Ramone telling Mr. Burns "Go to hell, you old bastard"
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 18/10/2023
This is some fuckin bullshit
Spelling Bee puzzle saying that "lepton" isn't in the word list
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 29/09/2023
You drive like a dick, Big Tina
Back of a black Mercedes with a New York state "War on Terror Veteran" vanity plate that reads BIGTNA
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 17/09/2023
JEsus FuCking CHRIIIIIIIST
Bumble profile "About me" section that just says "I have a lot of respect for women because I know the important role they play in our lives either as a wife or mother"
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 04/09/2023
Judge Reinhold looking shocked
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 04/09/2023
Oh my god, all the Bumble dudes saying they're "calm cool and collective" have nothing on this bio I just saw holy shit
Bumble profile "About me" section that just says "A very non-judge mental person"
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 04/09/2023
lol lol lol is that like blue balls
Google search overview of "Giardia" which has the subheader "Also called: beaver fever"
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 19/08/2023
Glad to see the Aphex Twin video guy finally getting some work
A pale tall hairless emaciated naked Dracula looms creepily in the dark background while a sailor struggles to light a lantern in the rainy night (from The Last Voyage of the Demeter)A pale tall hairless emaciated naked guy with a gaping maw gets right up in this old broad's face and screams so powerfully that it blows her hair back (from that Aphex Twin video)
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 03/08/2023
2003 Fiona never thought we'd get here, but some dreams DO come true if they're very minor and you wait 20 years
HBO Max screen for the new season of Clone High
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 02/08/2023
(Fiona's Big Heavy Metal Crisis 2023 intensifies / gets extremely real)
concert listing for The Mega-Monsters Tour: Gojira & Mastodon w/ special guest Lorna Shore (Sat Aug 12 at Coney Island Amphitheater)
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 01/08/2023
Every time I don't unload the dishwasher and let a catastrophe of dirty dishes take over the sink
The Giant in Twin Peaks: The Return saying "It is happening, again"
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 29/07/2023
Guys I'm kind of worried, I woke up with this weird growth on my hand 😟
arm stretched out in bed, with a black & white cat sitting on the hand
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 25/07/2023
The confrontation in your brain* between the most recent coping-mechanism-related infatuation and the new one on the horizon *has a lot of weird problems in it
Peter Steele of Type O Negative, circa early 90's, looking to his left (intimidating)Dave Mustaine of Megadeth, circa early 90's, looking to his right (startled)
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 17/07/2023
(poorly masking that I'm crestfallen) I guess it's kind of entertaining
Wheels of Wegmans cheese labeled "Medium Entertaining Brie"
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 10/07/2023
When I'm trying to remember my many cool qualities and be optimistic about my dating prospects but every man on bumble is an unspeakable nightmare
A selfie where I'm smiling but also my eyes are rolling into the back of my head (also I'm wearing a Ghost tee shirt)
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House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis.bsky.social · 07/07/2023
Savoring this moment while my current compulsive listening playlist is at 13 hours 13 minutes
Screenshot of Spotify playlist titled "Fiona's Big Heavy Metal Crisis 2023" with cover thumbnails for 3 Megadeth records & 1 Judas Priest record, playlist length 13h 13min
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