Reposted by momaura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social · 14/07/2026I respect France's commitment to not working on a holiday. 114111472404
Reposted by moIt's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 07/07/2026One problem I have with every recipe is where is the step for crying 52970156
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 06/07/2026I'm very surprised that the corrupt organization known as FIFA can be so easily corrupted 093
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 17/06/2026Nobody tells you 90% of being a new parent is cleaning up something you have just finished cleaning. 020
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 23/05/2025ME: Shaken, not stirred WAITER: I don't think that's how you make omelettes 052
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 18/03/2025[not too distant future] TEACHER: Please turn to page 400,976 of your 2025 History book 12310
Reposted by moDubious Genius @dubiousgenius.bsky.social · 13/03/2025You shouldn't speak ill of the dead, when there are so many living to speak ill of. 210128
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 10/03/2025I like pretending "side hustles" are fun hobbies and not acknowledging the fact working a full time job doesn't pay you enough to live please buy my keyrings 030
Reposted by moe.g. Alice Lastname @kissabix.bsky.social · 10/03/2025[during sex] Me: yeah, you like that? Him: mmhmm yeah Me: *stopping abruptly & pointing at his mood ring* then why is that white? 0269
Reposted by moSteven W Skinner @skinnersteven.bsky.social · 10/03/2025I put my phone in Airplane! mode and now it calls me Shirley 2948579
Reposted by moRedruM @dorsalstream.bsky.social · 10/03/2025[putting my arm around my son and pointing to my anxieties] Someday all this will be yours 38411
Reposted by moThinlyVeiledPanda @thinlyveiledpanda.bsky.social · 07/03/2025I love that milk is giving me strong bones, but I wish it’d stop leaving them on my porch 227698
Reposted by moViktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 07/03/2025What your post failed to consider is me, a stranger with bad opinions 172321443
Reposted by mo🍬 @holojester.bsky.social · 07/03/2025i thought the bungee jumper would be safe if i tied the rope all funky. i guess knot 063
Reposted by moIt's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 27/02/2025[the Hindenburg explodes] Oh, the shareholders! 8763138
Reposted by mochris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 02/03/2025When people talk about temperature in fahrenheit, I assume I missed the day people had to abandon the earth to live on the sun. 618845
Reposted by moFᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 05/03/2025Goddammit I think I just heard the Jumanji drums. 31729120
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 05/03/2025ME: I'm impressed you got us court side seats MY LAWYER: I hope they find you guilty 05113
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 05/03/2025ME: [being rushed into hospital while having my clothes cut off] Am I gonna be OK?? HIM: I have no idea, this is just a butt ugly outfit 031
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 05/03/2025Life hack: Avoid the tears when cutting onions by turning off the news 020
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 23/02/2025Trying to save the planet by swapping my plastic surgeon for a paper one 0153
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 02/02/2025I always hated team building events until I started working at Lego 071
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 24/01/2025[feeding a fox with a slingshot] Heyyy little buddy can I have your slingshot? 073
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 23/01/2025Eating my midnight snacks at 11pm so I don't cheat on my diet 092
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 18/01/2025[first day as crime scene investigator] Eww I think I stepped in gum oh my god WHATTHEF 083
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 18/01/2025Moving my birthday party indoors because I have too many friends 010
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 14/01/2025ME: [stepping out of the time machine] I made it to the future DEBT COLLECTOR: Well hello there 0327
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 04/01/2025AGENT: He knows too much. You need to erase his memory ME: Heyy buddy, wanna walk into a different room with me? 12110
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 02/01/2025Pinning up January 2025 calendar page where it will remain until January 2026 010
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 31/12/2024ME: New year, new me ME: [switching off cloning machine] No, me 020
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 28/12/2024ME: [takes cat to vet] VET: What seems to be the problem? ME: He's a bastard 320640
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 25/12/2024SON: Hey Dad, how come we never put a star on top of our Christmas tree? T-REX: Just because okay 03810
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 08/12/2024[having a heart attack in a restaurant] Tell my wife... I had a salad 216135
mo @chuuuew.bsky.social · 28/11/2024Always flattering when you are pursued by such professionals 1163
