Reposted by Ben StewartAndy Mackenzie @andymack.bsky.social · 11hGood morning. 'Batman's aff his Nut' by Robert Florence. 13469175
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 30/09/2026It's a little known fact that all Hispanic people have enough levels in Monk to Slow Fall 010
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Post a character you think is cool and give no explanation why:static.klipy.comNien Nunb Says 'Yah.'Alt: Nien Nunb Says 'Yah.' 010
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Fucking hell. I'm not keen on the creepy as fuck adverts for AI apps that pop up in between moves on the online scrabble-like game I'm playing. 011
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Without saying your age, what is your favourite movie that came out when you were 20 years old?static.klipy.comBlade: Bring It OnAlt: Blade: Bring It On 150
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 31/08/2026I had Nirvana tickets that I never got to use for... less pleasant reasons 030
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 26/08/2026And to be clear, that's West Cumbrian. None of that Barra nonsense. 010
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 24/08/2026One for Up the Arse Corner, if Viz still do it. Which they probably don't, since it's not as funny as it used to be 000
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 23/08/2026Pablo the Chlamydia Kitty is off to his new home tomorrow. He'll be "mad for it" in Manchester by this time tomorrow. 010
Reposted by Ben StewartFᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 20/04/2026All I’m saying is if I was going to write a book about a boy who never grew up, I wouldn’t have called him Peter Pan. I would’ve named him Constanteen. 411270220
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 07/08/2026Looks like we may have found a good home for Pablo the Chlamydia Kitty. In other news, I'll be pitching my exciting new animated series concept "Pablo the Chlamydia Kitty" to all major TV networks this autumn. Well, the ones that don't have restraining orders against me, anyway. 030
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 05/08/2026Turns out the cute little stray we are fostering probably has chlamydia. Not a development I was expecting 020
Reposted by Ben StewartNettlecake @nettlecake.bsky.social · 03/08/2026Brilliant letter from Stuart Thompson to Jeremy Clarkson about his comments that benefit claimants should write weekly thank you letters to tax payers detailing how they spend their benefits each week. 17270842923
Reposted by Ben StewartSooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 03/08/2026When someone is described as "often controversial, never boring" in 2026 it just means: full nazi but also part of the establishment. 01475332
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 24/07/2026We appear to have temporarily* acquired a cat. He's called Pablo, and is one of the hazards of having a kid that works in a vets where there's critters that need foster care. *well, he'd better be temporary anyway 140
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 22/07/2026"I'm not from here! I am my own customs! Look at my crazy passport!" 020
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 22/07/2026"If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate." 010
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 22/07/2026"Oh cruel fate, to be thusly boned! Ask not for whom the bone bones... it bones for thee" 040
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 20/07/2026Whilst preparing a report for our legal team to assist them with some very important litigation, we had to look up the dates the company went through some significant mergers on Wikipedia as apparently nobody in the company itself actually kept any records about that kind of thing 060
Reposted by Ben Stewartshauna @goldengateblond.bsky.social · 20/07/2026is there a pulitzer for photo captions because if so @theguardian.com just won it 57139393716
Reposted by Ben StewartRosie (she/her) @airfriedrosie.bsky.social · 15/07/2026Remember Streeting's review into whether young people are being overdiagnosed with ADHD, autism, and mental health issues? Well, the interim report is out, and there's a reason the media are silent on it (spoiler: it proves what a lot of us have been saying all along) 3729491268
Reposted by Ben StewartShiv Ramdas Mens Rice Activist @nameshiv.bsky.social · 12/07/2026counterpoint: the dead should make it harder for me to speak ill of them 61107162298
Reposted by Ben StewartStephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 28/06/2026Odyssesus's dad wants to chat Routes (This one is a print and I have four copies left of in the edition before it's sold out, ie never to be printed again! Shop link in my bio 👆) #odyssey 8579170
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 23/06/2026These hydration breaks are ridiculous. I want to see players running around so starved of water they look like the California Raisins on Arrakis 010
Reposted by Ben StewartJamie McKelvie @mckelvie.bsky.social · 23/06/2026static.klipy.comGarth Marenghi Garth Marenghi'S DarkplaceAlt: Garth Marenghi saying "I know writers who use subtext and they're all cowards" 2298104
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 23/06/2026Customer service staff have the statutory right to tell up to 3 customers a week to fuck off without it effecting their employment 010
Reposted by Ben StewartPaul Haine @paulhaine.bsky.social · 22/06/2026A lot of people don't realise this but in the UK we have to replace our Prime Minister every two or three years or else the rights revert back to Marvel 7459621302
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 19/06/2026HYDRATION BREAK!static.klipy.comHomer Simpson's Water Contraption FailALT: Homer Simpson's Water Contraption Fail 000
Reposted by Ben StewartStephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 17/06/2026How Does It Feel, Mr Footballer? [from 2021] 5533145
Ben Stewart @benstewart.bsky.social · 09/06/2026We were just talking about this film last night, and now the deeply upsetting trailer is here. (The whale is grief, by the way) 000
![Scene is a domestic room in ANCIENT GREECE. The traveller ODYSSEUS enters to meet his DAD, an old, bearded man.
DAD:
Odysseus!
ODYSSEUS:
Father!
DAD:
It’s so good to see you after all these years! How was your journey?
ODYSSEUS:
Not bad, yeah
DAD:
Which way did you come?
ODYSSEUS:
Oh... I dunno.
I just followed the sat nav
[There is a silent pause. Odysseus’s dad smiles, a frozen rictus of affability which says ‘that is not acceptable and I’ll pretend you didn’t say it’.]
DAD:
Which way did you come.
ODYSSEUS:
Um. I dunno, Dad
DAD:
Did you come via the domain of the Cyclops?
ODYSSEUS:
I think.... um....
DAD:
Through the lair of the Laestrygonian cannibals?
ODYSSEUS:
Uh....
DAD:
Past the siren song of the enchantresses?
ODYSSEUS:
Dunno, I had a podcast on
DAD:
You must've gone the Western Edge of the World way, past Scylla the six-headed monster and the Whirlpool of Charybdis...
ODYSSEUS:
Is that by the McDonald’s roundabout
DAD:
Yes
ODYSSEUS:
Yeah I did come that way
DAD:
OOOH YOU SHOULDN’T COME THAT WAY
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreidif3ihfpi5vthscfnnaf262yepyrynvhrtjdqyjymebikcyo53xu)
![[Title]:
How Does It Feel, Mr Footballer?
[Following panels show a footballer being interviewed in various scenarios]
1
[Making first contact with an alien on another planet]:
Yeh y’know obviously it’s a great to make first contact, we’re here to represent humanity and give it 100 per cent
2
[Chained above the fiery pit of Hell] :
2 Yeh y’know obviously it’s disappointing to be in the fiery pit but you’ve got to look forward
3
[Being devoured by tiny Nanobots in a future dystopia]:
Yeh y’know obviously the murderous nanobots are a factor but we’ve got to take the positives
4
[On WW2 VE-Day]
Yeh y’know obviously we’re pleased to win World War 2, they came out organised and made it difficult for us
5
[In a multi-dimensional vortex]:
Yeh y’know obviously there’s no easy games at the multiverse level, take one dimension at a time
6
[Stood on a cloud, next to a shining orb of light]
Yeh y’know obviously it’s great to see the face of God, we’re happy with that
7
[In the midst of an apocalypse, the world on fire]:
Yeh y’know obviously we wanted to survive as a species but we haven’t managed to do that
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreib4tk7bnrkiw5cauffr5lhxssfor5wsdkqo5h4un3b7xnbpmnly6y)