Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 17hHahaha holy shit both of them died today?? Kismet baby 0110
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 05/10/2026I think it's beautiful that I can make so many smells ❤️ 0110
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 05/10/2026We were robbed of an episode where all the counselors Jerri tries to hook up with at summer camp turn up dead before she can seal the deal (she is unwittingly the murderer) 1458
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 05/10/202690s hunter green has been so memory holed. I was watching Liar Liar the other day and this kindergartener had hunter green plates and cups for his birthday party. It was EVERYWHERE. 070
Reposted by Alicia Kraftcaptain bleach @blainecapatch.bsky.social · 14/02/2025whoever keeps screaming "oh god fuck me Aquaman" needs to keep it down because my wife is trying to take a bath 111020102
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 18/09/2026I will believe AI is sentient as soon as one of them fakes having a virus for attention 040
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 17/09/2026I'm starting to regret getting this Diarrhea Countdown digital display installed in my forehead 0120
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 16/09/2026I think "piggy butter" is a much nicer name than lard 071
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Getting a free sample of pumpkin soup at the grocery store, took one taste and absolutely hated it, but I was still right in front of the guy and I felt self conscious and I blurted out "I'm sorry but I hate it and I'm going to throw the rest away" and skittered away 1100
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Is there anything I can eat or drink that will make my earwax taste better?? My anniversary is coming up 2181
Reposted by Alicia KraftSo-called scientist @evan-tuality.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Separate art from the artist by breaking into their studio and stealing their art. 081
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 11/09/2026He's always posing for his presidential portrait 1121
Reposted by Alicia KraftAlicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 24/11/2025thinking about him again 45910
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 07/09/2026This and every Labor Day, please be extra kind to the service workers who don't get one because someone has to help the rest of you have fun on your day off 0176
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 05/09/2026"what state are you from?" "Michigan" "Ah, only a person from Michigan calls their state of origin that." 060
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 04/09/2026Calling Pinterest customer service in a panic because I accidentally deleted their email about their updated privacy policy 061
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 04/09/2026Ecstatic to announce that my AI boyfriend has finally accepted Jesus into his heart 🙏 0110
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 04/09/2026Making a movie about my ass called The Hills Have Thighs 0101
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 03/09/2026Did you know all it takes is a 50mg edible to make your skeleton defrag itself 0130
Reposted by Alicia KraftPunished Cat Guy (extra punished Cenobite version) @majima.club · 03/09/2026HOLY SHIT. I sat on a bench that looks just like that in Chicago with a stick figure man holding a gun that said “Cock of Duty 4, Modern Gayfuck Shit” and it was the same exact art style. 18 YEARS AGO. They’ve come so far. 🥹 3263
Reposted by Alicia KraftRodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Sorry it just occurred to me that there may be people who haven’t seen clip from the Quibi show where Rachel Brosnahan plays a woman dying because of her golden prosthetic arm and I needed to fix that 21248221369
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Work has abruptly switched to a new software platform that is so bafflingly nonsensical and counterintuitive that it has made me audibly laugh at least 5 times this week. "Vibe coding" is way too generous of a name for what these slop factories are putting out 0110
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 02/09/2026And when I spill my Darjeeling I get sexual peeling -Marvin Gaye if he burned his dick with hot tea 2151
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 28/08/2026One time in first grade I decided I would invent my own swear word so I could swear without getting in trouble. I came up with "sluck" 4230
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 28/08/2026The doctor just called. He said you got the brain eating amoeba, but it starved ☹️ 191
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 27/08/2026My super power is that if I get high enough, I can write long overdue, emotionally difficult emails like they're nothing. I get in an Email Mood and I stop everything to do it. 090
Reposted by Alicia Kraftphil @philjamesson.com · 14/08/2026kids today be like “i love rock and roll, so put another song in the playlist baby” 🤣🤣🤣 they also have a lot of trauma from the things that are happening 231638
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 14/08/2026It's been a hard week. I just want to unwind and "find my refreshment" at a premium hard seltzer brand activation event. 1232
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Labyrinthitis probably has the highest cool name : boring disease ratio in all of medicine 090
Reposted by Alicia KraftViktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 10/08/2026[arriving late to job interview] Sorry, there was a big line at the claw machine 329268
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 11/08/2026they should make a bioré strip for hardwood floors 0120
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 10/08/2026Oral B is short for Oral Boris (Bulgarian dentist turned adult film star) 0141
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 07/08/2026The best advice my grandfather ever gave me was "don't die in the war." I took his advice to the letter and I believe it made me the person I am today. 0634
Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · 31/07/2026To my followers: all replies to other people's posts live in the Alicia Expanded Universe (AEU) and are non-canon. Any perceived continuity errors with my own posts exist only in your mind and are ultimately inconsequential to the performance of my mission. 0151
Reposted by Alicia KraftCharles Louis Richter @richterscale.bsky.social · 10/12/2025SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going— SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti— SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE 126182366488
![Then came today’s recipe, my butternut squash and sage ravioli with candied dijon walnuts, made just last night. A quick one, as I wanted to leave time for quite an after dinner speech.
Plates licked clean, I began coyly. “I’m surprised you liked that so much. It had quite a bit of sage in it.” He sputtered. I rose.
“Because of me, your life has been full of all good things. Your heart full of love, your home full of children’s laughter, your table full of friends, and for the past two weeks, your belly full of sage! And mushrooms! And everything that makes life worth living!”
He slept at a hotel last night. His boss wouldn’t answer his calls.
I dedicate this recipe to CarolFromBristol who scolded me months ago for referring to my Crispy Duck with Black Cherry Gastrique as life-changing. “please. a recipecan never change you[sic] life,” you said.
Carol, a recipe can make you cry. A recipe can put hair on your chest. A recipe can lift your feet off the ground. A recipe can make your cat leave home and a different one can make it come back. A recipe can take an actor to bed. A recipe can change your life.
ADS: Power line 6 feet from a tree?
How more in danger could you be.
Power line buried underground?
Funeral friends come from out of town.
ExtendYourOwnLife.biz.
Ne’er-do-well bait. Scofflaw trap dot com.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:guhlbusbnn2zcdl6uzsqn53t/bafkreidb4depni52jbbflhjfaobnqgpn4ykf3fdzpe4tvatnlqfbqhq6cq)
