Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026[speed dating] “Do you have pets?” Just a goldfish "Any hobbies?" Yeah, he fucking loves swimming 06712
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 16/02/2026Every morning, I watch a beautiful naked woman across the street with my telescope. One day, I'll get that telescope back. 2449
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 03/12/2025I tried to do an impression of a shrew giving a marshmallow a back rub. 0111
Reposted by Sean LeahyMꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 09/09/2025I hope this ishmael finds you whale 472377620
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 03/09/2025Combing donkeys is illegal. Sorry, I don’t rake the mules. 05111
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 23/07/2025Welcome to Bookbinding for Beginners, please make yourself a tome. 05518
Reposted by Sean Leahysoul nate @mnateshyamalan.bsky.social · 18/05/2025wife: how was guarding the two paths today, honey? guard: [looking away] fine wife: did something happen? guard: [tearing up] no wife: would the other guard tell me something happened? 72202594588
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 08/05/2025Just how Popey was the Pope today? (From the archives, 2015) 05412
Reposted by Sean LeahyJorkin B Peanitson @bonerman-inc.bsky.social · 21/04/2025but im a jeep im a vehicle what the hell am i doing here beep beep honk honk steer 212270522
Reposted by Sean LeahySteve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 08/02/2025jesus christ just tell us if it’s maybelline 803992738
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 03/02/2025Hocus Pocus (1993) follows a villainous comedic trio of witches who are inadvertently resurrected by a teenage boy in Salem, Massachusetts on Halloween night. 224351
Reposted by Sean LeahyGlenn Moore @thenewsatglenn.bsky.social · 24/01/2025Funerals should have a bit where they ask the congregation to speak up if there’s any lawful reason why the dead person shouldn’t be buried 1957286
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 14/01/2025Tony Slattery was an uncageable comic for whom Whose Line..? was built for. A true clown. What a talent. 1211
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 20/12/2024I owe my sandwich toaster a lot of money, but debtor the breville you know. 0183
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 20/12/2024Wife: What is this? Me: [covered head to toe in ketchup] Santa Sauce is coming to town Wife: Sean, we've talked about this Me: Happy hollandaise Wife: You promised Me: [shouting at the car as she drives away] …AND MAYO YOUR CHRISTMASES BE W– 1274
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 18/12/2024Me: Janet’s boyfriend reminds me of Gandhi Wife: He looks nothing like him Janet’s bf: [tapping on car window] Don’t forget about Gandhi 0647
Reposted by Sean Leahyweeder @weeder.bsky.social · 18/07/2024Getting fired in the Open Office Geodesic Dome, the Hurt Yurt, the Fear Sphere, the Dodecadownsizer 692304487
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 16/12/2024The police said I’d be locked up if I’m caught stealing kitchen utensils again, but I’m willing to take the whisk. 1427422
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 13/12/2024Father Christmas isn’t particularly handsome in rainy weather… But he’s dashing through the snow. 1292
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 11/12/2024Back in 2015 I asked my then 3 year old daughter to guess the names of old wrestlers. 2267
Reposted by Sean LeahyStephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 15/11/2024Excruciating barber experience please I sold out of this print a while back, wish I'd made more. I think barbers must have been buying it lol 19724130
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 10/12/2024[hunting] “In order to attract the stag, I’ll perform the special call” [clears throat, cups hands round mouth] “GET OVER HERE, ANTLER JERK” 0131
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 09/12/2024Waiter: “Good evening sir, would you like to hear the specials?” Me: “Yes please” Waiter: [clears throat] “THIS TOWN, AHH AHHH, IS COMIN’ LIKE A GHOST TOWN” 213726
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 08/12/2024[murder scene] Detective: “So the victim drowned?” Cop: “After suffering a blow to the head” Detective: “What’s he doing?” Me: [trying to draw chalk outline on the river] 0171
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 07/12/2024Boss: Isn’t your new job kind of a [stifling laughter] sideways move? Crab: [to HR person] See, this is what I’m talking about. 0272
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 06/12/2024Wife: But the zoo told you never to come back Me: [loading hotdogs into shotgun] Those giraffes can’t live on salad, Eleanor 0251
Reposted by Sean Leahyslate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 06/12/2024optimus prime: did she just wink at me? me: i think she’s turning left 162338359
Reposted by Sean LeahyOlaf Falafel @ofalafel.bsky.social · 05/12/2024What do rock and roll pandas eat? A wop bop a loo bop a wop bamboo 5082286
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 06/12/2024“What’s this thing?” I call it a ‘knife’ “Wow, that’s the best thing since bread!” Gregory, I am about to blow your mind 0377
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 05/12/2024Dr: There’s good news and bad news Me: Gimme the bad Dr: We have to amputate both your legs Me: [sobbing] Are you… wearing my crocs? Dr: I see you’ve heard the good news 1314
Reposted by Sean LeahyGlenn Moore @thenewsatglenn.bsky.social · 03/12/2024Nice holy infant you got there. Would be a real shame if someone were to make it…tender and mild 1553774
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 04/12/2024I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions 026953
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 03/12/2024To the tune of “Follow the Yellow Brick Road”: 0103
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 03/12/2024[Playing a game of Scrabble against God] God: [puts PLATYPUS] Peter: That's not a word God: Yea it is Peter: What is it then? God: It’s um… [rummaging through a box of animal offcuts] it's a… 2243
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 02/12/2024"The bond's Name. James Name" Pleased to... what? "Bond Name's the james" Are you alright? "Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance" 20469133
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 02/12/2024It has been pointed out that today marks the tenth anniversary of the Bondulance tweet. Somebody call one, for I am crumbling into dust. 1332
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 02/12/2024Me: I’m sorry, my son spilled his drink Waiter: No problem, I’ll just get you another one Me: [grabbing his arm] Make sure this one likes sports 210716
Reposted by Sean LeahyMichael Spicer @michaelspicer.bsky.social · 30/11/2024Job interview tip: Remember, every question is a test so when they say "How are you?" reply "Goal orientated, thank you." 1742748
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 30/11/2024Overheard my therapist say she had some Country Living past issues in her office, but I can't find any. 44612
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 29/11/2024[my wife, violently shaking me] “You idiot, you drank the liquid from the magic 8 ball again, didn't you?” [my eyes roll back in my head and read: “MOST LIKELY”] 05113
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 29/11/2024Date: So… [twirling hair] What's your favourite place to have sex? Me: [checking textbook hidden behind my menu] I'd have to say the vagina 0212
Reposted by Sean LeahyGlennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 29/11/2024Music FACT: Jools Holland's real name is Jewellery The Netherlands. 09219
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 28/11/2024Do you really: ☑️ like it ⬜️ hate it ⬜️ not fussed Is it, is it: ⬜️ well behaved ☑️ wicked ⬜️ neither We're: ☑️ lovin' it ☑️ lovin' it ☑️ lovin' it We're: ⬜️ not that into it, tbh ⬜️ indifferent ☑️ lovin' it like that 1225
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 28/11/2024Me: Am I making you saturated? My wife: I wish I'd never bought you that thesaurus 1241
Reposted by Sean LeahyDraculosity Jones: Ghost Skeleton @brainmage.bsky.social · 28/11/2024Just taken a polaroid of some dead sheep. Mourn ewes as it develops. 1212133
Sean Leahy @thepunningman.bsky.social · 28/11/2024Updated Reindeer names for 2024: Dasher Demure Sigma Cutesy Bussin Mindful Brainrot Bestie Rawdog the Rizz-Nosed Reindeer 0196
