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The girl with the Garfield tattoo

@themaplewitch.bsky.social
722 followers 261 following 1.1K posts

Retired Manic Pixie Dreamgirl. Smarter than I act online. Overeducated and understimulated.

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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 44m
Just called UFC homophobic wrestling.
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 2h
But Traci! You insist, you’re still the first rebound after a Guy’s wife left him because he couldn’t keep it in his pants and thinks maybe polyamory would work this time for his cheating ass
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 2h
No, no, this one’s different you see! He used his parents wealth to become a doctor instead of coasting by as a fail son in his 30s
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 6h
I’ve got to be the twee-est bitch at the save-a-lot for some reason
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 10h
love that hes folded like the flag
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 10h
static.klipy.com
Dolph Lundgren as Ivan Drago: If He Dies, He Dies
ALT: Dolph Lundgren as Ivan Drago: If He Dies, He Dies
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 10h
My Pomeranian would get covered in these. Absolutely annoying
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Keith Stack-o'-lantern @keithstack.com · 04/10/2026
Curtis Sliwa with speech bubble coming out of him
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 11h
time to break out the old favorite
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 13h
This just in: cutest girl you know has absolutely rancid self-care routine
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 21h
Oh this one is you going to fuck me up too. I can TELL
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I’m honestly embarrassed how there is one (1) physical trait in men that makes me overlook any red flag he may present.
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
<woman who has let multiple grey haired men ruin her life in the last two years alone> standards?! What are those.
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I’m honestly embarrassed how there is one (1) physical trait in men that makes me overlook any red flag he may present.
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Mr. Cardio @ticketmasterceo.com · 04/10/2026
Men: It sucks that you have to be hot and rich and look a certain way in order for women to remotely pay you any attention The average woman: I Fucked The Muppet Man 💯
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Please don’t call me out like this. The short puppeteer was an amazing hookup.
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I will never understand how my parents signed up for that set! they’re so normal seeming
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Actually, upon counting I have all 21 apparently
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
The books
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The Onion @theonion.com · 03/10/2026
Nation’s 93-Year-Olds Announce Plan To Crash Car Into Side Of Bank
theonion.com
Nation’s 93-Year-Olds Announce Plan To Crash Car Into Side Of Bank
WASHINGTON—In a joint statement outlining the mission shared by hundreds of thousands of elderly American citizens, the nation’s 93-year-olds announced a new plan this week to crash their cars into th...
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
i'm missing maybe one or two, i think i gave some as presents to friends when i was a teen, but i'll take a pic when i get home
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I actually have ALL of these. Thanks mom and dad
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Today on the flight home, I ran into a woman that I have known since the middle school gifted program who then informed me that due to yoga induced sleep paralysis demons she has since been saved by Jesus’s holy word and is now a devout Catholic
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
If it exists it’s in Parma.
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I am self published. It costs so much to get your epubs posted to Libby.
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I am only worried he’s going to check on landing. Corner me at the luggage carousel.
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
He is reading a paperback and seems to have no technology on him. I think I can pull this off as long as he can’t like double check Libby or something. It must have been so much easier to grifter before the internet.
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Practicing masking on airplanes by constantly having different back stories about what I do to fly first. It goes from “my partner flies for work and has a lot of miles” (truth) OR I’m a romantacy writer for mermaids and I was doing research on sea creature lore. (What I’ve told the man next to me)
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Ohio has a Russia, Lima, Versailles, Cairo, and a Rio grande. None of them are pronounced like you think
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Michael Varrati @michaelvarrati.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
A cult-centric, arthouse horror movie set in a back alley of San Francisco…and we call it FOLSOMMAR.
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Never stopped me before!
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depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
it's the 40 year anniversary of cleveland's disastrous "balloonfest"
Balloonfest '86 was a fundraising event in Cleveland, Ohio, United States, held on September 27, 1986, in which the local chapter of United Way set a world record by releasing almost 1.5 million balloons.[2] The event was intended to be a harmless publicity stunt. However, the released balloons drifted back over the city and Lake Erie and landed in the surrounding area, causing problems for traffic and a nearby airport. In consequence, the organizers faced lawsuits seeking millions of dollars in damages,[1] and cost overruns put the event at a net loss.[3] The event also interfered with a United States Coast Guard search for two boaters who were later found drowned.[1]
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Are they…. You know… friends of Wilde?
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
someone just described Taylor swift as the first case of sexually transmitted CTE after hearing that Cleveland song
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Also they make you look like an asshole.
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Who up frippoff’n their Robert?
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I think every time I go to CA it’s the first thing I do
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I think it was the loudly being on the phone, not the language part that was annoying
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Oh, I read so many splatter punk novels and quite often I don’t get the controversy. Like okay he’s a little too detailed when he describes people getting completely eviscerated, but 90% of the story is a normal novel
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
That’s what I’m here for! Being a bummer.
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Jesus Christ, I just googled it. You don’t die from the fall, you die from the slow burning of being steamed alive. 😬
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Michael Baumann @baumann.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Joe Pera reading the church announcements
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haunted juliefriend👻🍬 @sliceofwife.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
some of you were not reading your older cousin's V.C. Andrews novels at an impressionable age and it shows
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
His pose is just so perfect
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
They don’t know meme
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Del Toro in back
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Someone who cut me off had a grogu sticker on their car so my road rage phrase was “ABORT BABY YODA YA CUNT”
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Jordan aka Jirdan @slclunk.com · 20/09/2026
I honestly can’t think of a better metaphor than the Department of War inviting a guy who padded his boxing records with scrubs right until he got hospitalized by someone who could actually fight
Department of War E
@DeptofWar
X.com
Last Thursday, we welcomed Logan and Jake Paul to the Pentagon to meet with our warriors.
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
It turns out HR doesn’t appreciate it if you greet a Coworker with “pissin all by yourself handsome?” while waiting outside of the restroom for your turn
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The girl with the Garfield tattoo @themaplewitch.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Slow down there hertzog.
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