Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Pouring one out for my free flu jabs, which I can no longer have because the NHS have caught on that I'm not obese enough anymore 270
Reposted by HannahThomas Ha @thomasha.bsky.social · 29/09/2026i should clarify, when i write people doing bad things, it's because i am bad. they are me. more importantly, when you read about those bad things, they also become you. that's how story works. in fact, you are going to think about murder before this skeet ends. how's that feel, sicko. 1761742354
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Heads up this tastes like a fucking Yankee Candle 250
Reposted by HannahCiaran Martin @ciaranm.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I was wrong. It’s happening 222041242
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Today in "what's an absolutely deranged thing I could say on the internet" 1303
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Also it's just become apparent I need to buy more sheets because if I strip my bed and I forgot to wash my other sheet i have to actually wash and dry a sheet before I can go to bed, vexing 010
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I have some agents now but I still don't tbh know what agents are 220
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Don't be silly, it says BETTER ENGLISH PEOPLE OF SHIT DEAD 020
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 27/09/2026got a lot of important shit to do today so naturally for some reason I'm making 2 pans of Scouse (i live alone, i seldom eat Scouse, what are we doing here) 280
Reposted by HannahDan Marshall @danthat.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Breaking News: my printer would fucking love to print something out for Scarlett Johansson if Scarlett Johansson was a computer running Windows XP 🫶 1466
Reposted by Hannahmtsw @mtsw.bsky.social · 26/09/2026once again the actual "story" behind Tilly Norwood is how the company's PR firm continues to get these stories placed in ostensibly legit outlets over and over despite zero demonstration of the supposed phenomenon being written about ("AI movie star Tilly Norwood") being real 292448510
Reposted by HannahHannah @gingerolive.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Is Russ in Cheshire Boots new head of marketing? 311731
Reposted by HannahDuncan Weldon @duncanweldon.bsky.social · 24/09/2026‘This is playing into his hands’/‘this will allow him to play the martyr card’/‘this will help with his fundraising’ are all really bad takes. Criminals should be arrested and charged with crimes. 161776281
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Oh come ON, giving a random person £800 to do cosmetic facial surgery on you is simpleton behaviour, what were they expecting here www.dailymail.com/news/article...dailymail.comThe woman carrying out cut-price eyelid lifts from terraced homeVictims are believed to have paid £850 in cash for Luyen Vu, who has no known medical training, to chop off part of their eyelids. 030
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Just incredibly normal stuff, a guy is cruising the Channel in a speedboat trying to drown first responders 050
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 23/09/2026You ever get like... your body is longing for the change of seasons and not having it is an eldritch curse 060
Reposted by HannahTwlldun @twlldun.bsky.social · 22/09/2026There has never been a man alive with less rizz 2219225
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 22/09/2026You see I HAVE grown up, for example I've just walked into Kiss The Hippo and successfully squashed the urge to greet the staff with "Morning, hippo kissers" 060
Reposted by HannahJay Rayner @jayrayner1.bsky.social · 21/09/2026On the BBC News Katya Adler has just described Germany, where the far right AFD keep winning elections, as entering 'uncharted political territory'. Hmmm. Where Germany is concerned I think that territory is pretty well charted. 563911733
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Just finally decided to DNF a book at 90% read I don't care it's crap I have given enough 3100
Reposted by HannahAlexander Fox @alexanderfox1.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Deleting apps cos I wanna meet someone the old fashioned way (form a homoerotic bond with a beautiful boy at Oxford, wheedle my way into his family, watch his descent into alcoholism, get rejected by his sister due to her faith, eventually convert to Catholicism with great metaphorical significance) 310716
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Finding the end of Moulin Rouge absolutely infuriating as Satine sings to Christian begging forgiveness after he threw her on the floor when she is clearly very unwell, threw money at her and shouted "I paid my whore" 130
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Anyway I did get to pet a guide dog alsatian (with permission from the guided man) on the bus so that's something 130
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Every time I am forced to think about Ed Sheeran I end up thinking about when he heavily implied Don't was about Ellie Goulding and she was like... I was never with Ed Sheeran 020
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 18/09/2026In 5 years: "Parents of Estranged Adult Children Who Don't Know Why 😔" 140
Reposted by HannahArea Man @areamancm.bsky.social · 17/09/2026So this is who I *meant* to say should be in prison or dead 0121
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 17/09/2026I've had some sort of illness this week which is great because I am ravenously hungry and then I eat food and no matter what it was my body goes "why the FUCK did you give me that, are you THICK" 110
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Not to be Will here but nothing about this works? The colours don't go. The jewellery doesnt go. The American Gothic hairstyle and aging makeup with the plunging slouchy teenager top and the glittery trousers. The leather murder gloves. What. Why. 350
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 14/09/2026reading this about one sided conversations and maybe I want to know about your vasectomy 010
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Getting served a lot of Facebook arguments about this so just taking the opportunity to say I don't *like* it exactly but at least it's not the fly-infested whipped cream thing? 310
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 14/09/2026You know what I hate is cooking videos where the person eats a bit on camera and gets sauce dribble and it's gross like watching a toddler or Henry VIII eat 010
Reposted by HannahBusiness Decision Pikachu @businesspikachu.bsky.social · 13/09/2026The Jurassic Parks companies are calling for slowing down Jurassic Park construction 2744
Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Was very sick yesterday and had a kind of fever dream @mhairim.bsky.social was helping me write a book and I was so excited to get started and I woke up and remembered the plot and it was total dogshit thanks Mhairi 220