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Hannah

@teaforpterosaur.bsky.social
1.7K followers 132 following 3.1K posts

The most scandalocious little fish in the sea

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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Pouring one out for my free flu jabs, which I can no longer have because the NHS have caught on that I'm not obese enough anymore
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Thomas Ha @thomasha.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
i should clarify, when i write people doing bad things, it's because i am bad. they are me. more importantly, when you read about those bad things, they also become you. that's how story works. in fact, you are going to think about murder before this skeet ends. how's that feel, sicko.
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Heads up this tastes like a fucking Yankee Candle
Yfood creamy cookie flavour, which is disgusting
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Ciaran Martin @ciaranm.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I was wrong. It’s happening
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Today in "what's an absolutely deranged thing I could say on the internet"
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Omg you can't say that to him
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Also it's just become apparent I need to buy more sheets because if I strip my bed and I forgot to wash my other sheet i have to actually wash and dry a sheet before I can go to bed, vexing
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I have some agents now but I still don't tbh know what agents are
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Don't be silly, it says BETTER ENGLISH PEOPLE OF SHIT DEAD
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
beautiful x
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
got a lot of important shit to do today so naturally for some reason I'm making 2 pans of Scouse (i live alone, i seldom eat Scouse, what are we doing here)
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Sorry but what the FUCK is that Wordle today
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Dan Marshall @danthat.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Breaking News: my printer would fucking love to print something out for Scarlett Johansson if Scarlett Johansson was a computer running Windows XP 🫶
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mtsw @mtsw.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
once again the actual "story" behind Tilly Norwood is how the company's PR firm continues to get these stories placed in ostensibly legit outlets over and over despite zero demonstration of the supposed phenomenon being written about ("AI movie star Tilly Norwood") being real
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Sorry sorry sorry!!!!
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Hannah @gingerolive.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Is Russ in Cheshire Boots new head of marketing?
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Duncan Weldon @duncanweldon.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
‘This is playing into his hands’/‘this will allow him to play the martyr card’/‘this will help with his fundraising’ are all really bad takes. Criminals should be arrested and charged with crimes.
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Oh come ON, giving a random person £800 to do cosmetic facial surgery on you is simpleton behaviour, what were they expecting here www.dailymail.com/news/article...
dailymail.com
The woman carrying out cut-price eyelid lifts from terraced home
Victims are believed to have paid £850 in cash for Luyen Vu, who has no known medical training, to chop off part of their eyelids.
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Just incredibly normal stuff, a guy is cruising the Channel in a speedboat trying to drown first responders
The This Is Fine dog in his burning building drinking coffee and smiling obliviously
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
You ever get like... your body is longing for the change of seasons and not having it is an eldritch curse
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
What an absolute delight.
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Twlldun @twlldun.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
There has never been a man alive with less rizz
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
r u new here
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
You see I HAVE grown up, for example I've just walked into Kiss The Hippo and successfully squashed the urge to greet the staff with "Morning, hippo kissers"
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Jay Rayner @jayrayner1.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
On the BBC News Katya Adler has just described Germany, where the far right AFD keep winning elections, as entering 'uncharted political territory'. Hmmm. Where Germany is concerned I think that territory is pretty well charted.
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Just finally decided to DNF a book at 90% read I don't care it's crap I have given enough
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
"You should definitely believe him I am a liar"
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Men are so fucking lame
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Alexander Fox @alexanderfox1.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Deleting apps cos I wanna meet someone the old fashioned way (form a homoerotic bond with a beautiful boy at Oxford, wheedle my way into his family, watch his descent into alcoholism, get rejected by his sister due to her faith, eventually convert to Catholicism with great metaphorical significance)
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Finding the end of Moulin Rouge absolutely infuriating as Satine sings to Christian begging forgiveness after he threw her on the floor when she is clearly very unwell, threw money at her and shouted "I paid my whore"
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Anyway I did get to pet a guide dog alsatian (with permission from the guided man) on the bus so that's something
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
wonder why the CofE wouldn't ordain him
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Every time I am forced to think about Ed Sheeran I end up thinking about when he heavily implied Don't was about Ellie Goulding and she was like... I was never with Ed Sheeran
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
In 5 years: "Parents of Estranged Adult Children Who Don't Know Why 😔"
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
*taps mic* Wagyu just tastes like lard.
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I mean do they fucking want boats or not
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Area Man @areamancm.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
So this is who I *meant* to say should be in prison or dead
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I've had some sort of illness this week which is great because I am ravenously hungry and then I eat food and no matter what it was my body goes "why the FUCK did you give me that, are you THICK"
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
no they meant it to sound like that
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
No more healthcare for you huns x
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
@MohanadElshieky

Please stop saying the vaccine doesn't have severe side effects. I took my shots and now I'm alive and have to keep working
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
that's the spirit
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Not to be Will here but nothing about this works? The colours don't go. The jewellery doesnt go. The American Gothic hairstyle and aging makeup with the plunging slouchy teenager top and the glittery trousers. The leather murder gloves. What. Why.
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
reading this about one sided conversations and maybe I want to know about your vasectomy
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Getting served a lot of Facebook arguments about this so just taking the opportunity to say I don't *like* it exactly but at least it's not the fly-infested whipped cream thing?
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
You know what I hate is cooking videos where the person eats a bit on camera and gets sauce dribble and it's gross like watching a toddler or Henry VIII eat
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Business Decision Pikachu @businesspikachu.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
The Jurassic Parks companies are calling for slowing down Jurassic Park construction
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Any way facebook could give it a fucking rest
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Was very sick yesterday and had a kind of fever dream @mhairim.bsky.social was helping me write a book and I was so excited to get started and I woke up and remembered the plot and it was total dogshit thanks Mhairi
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Hannah @teaforpterosaur.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
this is antisemitic
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